AIBU to feel like I barely have any mum friends who relate to my life?

yosmartie · 16/09/2026 12:55

I'd love to chat (if this is a genuine post?)....
I feel similar in many ways.
The struggle is actually too much.
Modern British motherhood can be pretty unsurvivable.

GCSEmum2025 · 31/12/2025 10:09

WTF? I’m not surprised you’re struggling OP. That is if you’re a real person. Sharing your number with randomers on the internet? Ridiculous carry on.

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 31/12/2025 09:56

I really didn’t realise my posts were coming across strangely — that honestly wasn’t my intention at all.
I do have a disability that affects the way I communicate, and sometimes I repeat myself or reuse parts of what I’ve written because it helps me stay clear and consistent. I also post across different topics because I’m trying to hear from a range of people, not because I’m trying to be odd or misleading. I’m just a mum trying to find connection, not doing anything wrong.

I understand that online spaces can make people cautious, but I’m a real person with three young children, and I’m just trying to reach out in the only ways I know how. If anything I’ve written has come across the wrong way, that genuinely wasn’t my intention.

I appreciate the people who responded kindly — it means a lot when you’re trying to build a bit of community in a world that can feel quite isolating.

OP posts:

Staringintothevoid616 · 30/12/2025 10:45

I’m so glad my DS is older now so I don’t need to suffer the mum friends obsession. I can remember this stage where you feel compelled to go on school mum meet ups which basically seemed a replay of the the school playground with popular mum having people vying to be her best mate, lots of bitchiness, slagging off their husbands, slagging off mums who hadn’t made the evening talking about utter drivel like reality tv, fashion, celebs.fucking hell it was depressing!!! The “mum friends” I have are people I actually like, people I have things in common with who I would be friends with anyway who just so happen to be mums.

The expectation we should be friends with people just because we happen to have given birth at around the same time is bizarre.

My best advice is, find friends for you, make time for you, some of these people will have kids.

Many of my good mates are men, many don’t have kids..no reality tv, bitchiness or celeb culture involved

IllAdvised · 30/12/2025 10:32

Didn’t you post the exact same thing previously, but with the emphasis on how parents with partners didn’t ‘get’ what it was like being a lone parent?

ZingyLemonMoose · 30/12/2025 10:23

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 14:57

I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately… how many mum friends do we actually have who truly relate to our day‑to‑day life?

For me, I’ve only got one friend with a child, and another friend who has MS — and that’s really my whole circle. I’m a mum of three (5, 3 and 1), and I’d really love to meet new mum friends this year. People I can chat to on a high day or a low day, without judgement or pressure.

How many friends do you have who genuinely understand your situation? And are you looking to make new connections too?

I’d love to hear from others in the same boat.

I’m wondering if this is just modern motherhood or if I’m missing something.

i’m in exactly the same boat - I have one friend who’s child has grown up, and I’m starting again at 40! Feel free to message me
if you’d like a WhatsApp buddy :)

Iocanepowder · 30/12/2025 06:27

Moussell · 29/12/2025 20:26

That’s been happening on several threads today. What a rude thing to say.

Show quote history

No I agree this poster sounds like AI/chatgp and is also being a bit forward asking people people to DM her so she can share her phone number. I’m reporting so MNHQ can take a look.

Augustus40 · 30/12/2025 06:15

Peanut is free

Millytante · 30/12/2025 00:33

Good luck finding a few local single mothers with multiple young kids, who have the time or even the inclination to engage in nurturing chit chat, ‘holding space for each other’s struggles’. Aaaarggh.

Jamandtoastfortea · 30/12/2025 00:25

HuskyNew · 29/12/2025 20:05

Why are you repeating the same paragraphs and details (5,3&1) over and over?

Either this is an AI bot or perhaps a sign you need to work on social skills for building friends

i am not sure this is a real person. All their responses are AI and they seem to switch from American to English. The asking people to contact them directly worries me - it’s quite fishing really.

Moussell · 29/12/2025 20:26

HuskyNew · 29/12/2025 20:05

Why are you repeating the same paragraphs and details (5,3&1) over and over?

Either this is an AI bot or perhaps a sign you need to work on social skills for building friends

That’s been happening on several threads today. What a rude thing to say.

HuskyNew · 29/12/2025 20:05

Why are you repeating the same paragraphs and details (5,3&1) over and over?

Either this is an AI bot or perhaps a sign you need to work on social skills for building friends

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 19:57

Thank you both for sharing 💛 I really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

@Skybluepinky — I hear you. It’s hard when people try to connect and are seen as desperate. I think for some of us — especially those parenting solo, without partner or family support — initiating connection isn’t about desperation, it’s about survival. I’ve got three little ones (5, 3 and 1), and I’m doing it all alone. I’m not part of any playground circles, and I often feel invisible. I’m just hoping to find a few genuine mum friendships where I don’t have to explain so much.

@Floundering66 — Your group sounds lovely, and I really admire how you all hold space for each other’s different struggles. I think that’s what I’m longing for — a space where I can talk about the highs and lows without feeling like I’m too much. I don’t have childcare, and I’m with my girls 24/7. Even my friend with a child in nursery has family and partner support, so it’s hard to find someone who truly gets the emotional stretch of doing it all alone.

If anyone’s looking for another mum to chat to — about the highs, the lows, or just the everyday stuff — feel free to DM me. I’m happy to share my number privately 🌿💛 No pressure at all, just here if anyone ever needs someone to talk to.

OP posts:

Floundering66 · 29/12/2025 18:46

I have a group of friends (6) who I’m very close with, have been for nearly 20 years. Of that group four have children, and the other two are very easy to talk to. I would say I can talk about the highs and lows with all of them, but we do all have different struggles. For example, two have been able to be stay at home mums for as long as they like and one has been able to rely on her parents for full time childcare. I only have one friend who has a child in nursery like me, so she’s the only one who can really relate to me on that subject. However she lives next door to her parents and her husband is home a lot for work so she doesn’t have much time on her own with her children whereas I am on my own a lot more. I think everyone can put themselves in eachothers situation though which helps!

Skybluepinky · 29/12/2025 18:33

Really difficult as often those that try to initiate friendships are the ones that everyone avoids as they are seen as desperate. We all know members of playground mummy mafia, and they are to be avoided at all costs.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 29/12/2025 18:08

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 17:37

Thank you both for sharing 💛 I really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

@RobertaFirmino — I love that you’ve found such a strong friendship despite different life paths. That kind of kindness and laughter is everything. I think when you’re parenting solo — no partner, no family support, three little ones (mine are 5, 3 and 1) — it can feel like you’re living a completely different rhythm to most people. Even the kind ones.

@Augustus40 — I felt the same about Peanut. I tried it, but it didn’t lead anywhere. I’ve also tried stay-and-play sessions, mum and baby groups, even a Henry programme — but I often end up feeling invisible. I’ve asked to swap numbers, suggested coffee, tried to engage… and it’s like I’m speaking another language. So for now, I’m leaning into online spaces and hoping to connect with mums who truly get it.

@YourBreezyBiscuit and @Jackiepumpkinhead

I hear you both 💛 And I agree — friendships don’t always need to be built around motherhood. Some of my closest connections have come from shared humour, kindness, or just being able to talk freely. But I think when you’re parenting solo — no partner, no family support, and three little ones (mine are 5, 3 and 1) — it can feel like you’re living a completely different rhythm to most people. Even the kind ones.
I’ve got two friends — one with MS and one with a child — but neither truly understands the full weight of doing it all alone. That’s why I’ve been hoping to connect with other mums who get the emotional stretch, the mental load, and the relentlessness of it all. Not because I want to replace my existing friendships, but because I need a space where I don’t have to explain so much.

If anyone’s looking for another friend to chat to — about the highs, the lows, or just the everyday stuff — feel free to DM me. I’m happy to share my number privately 💛 No pressure at all, just here if you ever need someone 🌿

I hear you OP, I hope you meet some lovely new people soon 🩷

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 17:37

Thank you both for sharing 💛 I really appreciate hearing different perspectives.

@RobertaFirmino — I love that you’ve found such a strong friendship despite different life paths. That kind of kindness and laughter is everything. I think when you’re parenting solo — no partner, no family support, three little ones (mine are 5, 3 and 1) — it can feel like you’re living a completely different rhythm to most people. Even the kind ones.

@Augustus40 — I felt the same about Peanut. I tried it, but it didn’t lead anywhere. I’ve also tried stay-and-play sessions, mum and baby groups, even a Henry programme — but I often end up feeling invisible. I’ve asked to swap numbers, suggested coffee, tried to engage… and it’s like I’m speaking another language. So for now, I’m leaning into online spaces and hoping to connect with mums who truly get it.

@YourBreezyBiscuit and @Jackiepumpkinhead

I hear you both 💛 And I agree — friendships don’t always need to be built around motherhood. Some of my closest connections have come from shared humour, kindness, or just being able to talk freely. But I think when you’re parenting solo — no partner, no family support, and three little ones (mine are 5, 3 and 1) — it can feel like you’re living a completely different rhythm to most people. Even the kind ones.
I’ve got two friends — one with MS and one with a child — but neither truly understands the full weight of doing it all alone. That’s why I’ve been hoping to connect with other mums who get the emotional stretch, the mental load, and the relentlessness of it all. Not because I want to replace my existing friendships, but because I need a space where I don’t have to explain so much.

If anyone’s looking for another friend to chat to — about the highs, the lows, or just the everyday stuff — feel free to DM me. I’m happy to share my number privately 💛 No pressure at all, just here if you ever need someone 🌿

OP posts:

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 17:25

@Snoken Thank you for sharing this — I really appreciate your perspective 💛 I agree that friendships don’t always need to be built on shared life experiences. But I think when you’re in the thick of parenting alone — no partner, no family support, three little ones (mine are 5, 3 and 1) — it can feel like you’re living a completely different rhythm to most people. Even the kind ones.

I’ve tried connecting in person — stay and plays, mum and baby sessions, even a Henry programme — but I often end up feeling invisible. I’ve asked to swap numbers, suggested coffee, tried to engage… and it’s like I’m speaking another language. I’ve had to accept that for now, online might be my only way in.

I’m hoping to build some genuine mum friendships this year — people I can talk to on a high day or a low one, even if our lives look different. I want to be that kind of friend too — someone who listens, supports, and doesn’t judge 🌿

If anyone’s open to chatting, I’d love to connect 💛

OP posts:

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 17:19

@TheNinkyNonkyIsATardis Thank you for sharing this — it really made me pause. I think you’re right that friendship doesn’t always need to be about direct relatability. But I’ll be honest… when you’re doing it all alone, with no partner, no family support, and three little ones (mine are 5, 3 and 1), it can feel like you’re on a different planet from most mums. Even the ones who mean well.

I’ve tried to connect in person — stay and plays, mum and baby sessions, even a Henry programme — but I often end up feeling invisible. I’ve asked to swap numbers, suggested coffee, tried to engage… and it’s like I’m speaking another language. I’ve had to accept that for now, online might be my only way in.

I’m hoping to build some genuine mum friendships this year — people I can talk to on a high day or a low one, even if our lives look different. I want to be that kind of friend too — someone who listens, supports, and doesn’t judge 💛

If anyone’s open to chatting, I’d love to conn ect 🌿

OP posts:

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 17:13

I really appreciate you sharing this — it’s encouraging to hear how you kept trying, even when it felt awkward at first 💛

I’ve tried a lot too, but it’s been really hard. I haven’t got money for subscriptions like Peanut, and when I’ve gone to stay-and-play sessions, there haven’t been many parents — and even when I’ve asked to swap numbers or grab a coffee, I’ve been looked at like I’m speaking another language 😔

I’ve tried mum and baby sessions, but they’ve often been empty — or the few parents there just want to shadow their child and aren’t interested in chatting. I even went to a Henry healthy eating programme with my baby, and I felt so invisible. I tried to engage, but it was like my answers weren’t being heard. I left feeling really disheartened.

Since then, I’ve been leaning into online spaces — it’s the only place I’ve felt like maybe I’m not imagining it all. I’m a mum of three (5, 3 and 1), and I’m really hoping to make some genuine mum friends this year — people I can talk to on a high day or a low one, without judgement or pressure 🌿

If anyone’s open to chatting, I’d love to connect 💛

OP posts:

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 17:03

User79853257976 · 29/12/2025 15:03

What about school mums you know from your 5 year old’s class?

Yes, I’ve tried with the school mums — but most of them are in a different boat. They’ve got support from their baby fathers or exes, they’re working part-time or full-time, and they’ve got family who are well and able to help with childcare. I don’t have any support from my baby father’s side, and there’s no one to watch the kids — they’re with me all the time. They’re like my little shadows… I can’t even go pee without one of them following me in 😅

It’s not that I haven’t tried — I just haven’t found anyone who truly gets the full weight of doing it all alone. I’m a mum of three (5, 3 and 1), and I’m really hoping to make some genuine mum friends this year — people I can talk to on a high day or a low one, without judgement or pressure 💛

OP posts:

Original poster

HumbleTalkativeMum · 29/12/2025 16:56

Birch101 · 29/12/2025 15:01

Have you tried the peanut app?

Yes I have. It was asking about subscriptions that's something I don't have the finance for right now.

OP posts:

Jackiepumpkinhead · 29/12/2025 15:41

Why do you need ‘mum’ friends? I’m not a mum and two of my closest friends have children.

YourBreezyBiscuit · 29/12/2025 15:33

I've never understood the "mum friends" obsession.

I tried a few baby groups to make mum friends but found it really unfulfilling and boring trying to make friends with people who I had nothing in common with other than nappies and breast feeding. We didn't have any shared interests, different education levels, it was rubbish. I don't know what I was supposed to be getting out of it because I can talk to my husband about nappies and breast feeding everyday, why do I need to befriend other mums to do that? Why does doing it with other women that I don't particularly care about make it any better?

I already have a good group of close friends, some middle aged with grown up kids, some younger than me and childless, but out friendship hasn't changed at all other than I see them less often and tell them about my daughter occasionally. Why should I be prioritising making new friends with kids the same age as mine over these years long rock solid friendships with women who understand me and have shared interests and goals with me? Makes no sense.

Augustus40 · 29/12/2025 15:31

I found Peanut a waste of time. They write to you once then they stop.