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Original poster

Long term marriage is like shagging your best friend

361 replies

Oneisnotamused · 29/12/2025 11:18

……..or even worse, your brother or your sister 🤮. I think most long-term marriages end up with this problem - I know some people are still happily shagging after 30+ years but……..how do long-term marriages survive this particular ick?

OP posts:
HumbleStumble · 29/12/2025 12:00

It's your brother from another mother, mustn't shudder.

SoulSearchBeHonest · 29/12/2025 12:00

Maybe counselling @Oneisnotamused

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 29/12/2025 11:57

Oneisnotamused · 29/12/2025 11:47

My point is you don’t want to have sex with someone who you’re over-familiar with. Over familiarity kills lust, passion and desire after a while

You might not want to. I take great comfort in knowing every inch of DH. No surprises - I know where his funny moles are, his chicken pox scar. I don’t need to feel self conscious about my weird birth mark.

Personally I can’t think of anything worse than having sex with a sexy stranger. So much pressure and likely to be disappointing.

I’m sorry you don’t love your husband anymore OP but many people get a lot of satisfaction sexually or otherwise out of their LTRs.

Clockyclockz · 29/12/2025 11:53

You have to still be attracted to your partner surely? I admit I married for looks!

TheCurious0range · 29/12/2025 11:52

This is such an odd take, DH was my best friend for 14 years before we got together. Why is it ick?!

Feelinguselesssigh · 29/12/2025 11:51

I think this is a ‘you’ thing. Perhaps you have got icky habits of using the loo in front of each other and let yourselves go a bit so the romance has died.

what you pay attention to flourishes so maybe pay attention to each other in a loving and sexy way?

PinkyFlamingo · 29/12/2025 11:51

Oneisnotamused · 29/12/2025 11:47

My point is you don’t want to have sex with someone who you’re over-familiar with. Over familiarity kills lust, passion and desire after a while

Maybe for you . Clearly not for everyone.

ChabbaRanx · 29/12/2025 11:50

Oneisnotamused · 29/12/2025 11:47

My point is you don’t want to have sex with someone who you’re over-familiar with. Over familiarity kills lust, passion and desire after a while

And as noted earlier, easily solved by ending your relationship and engaging in casual sex, if that’s how you feel.

blackberryhill · 29/12/2025 11:47

Weekmindedfool · 29/12/2025 11:27

Having shagged my brother, my best friend and my DH I can categorically tell you they are all different.

Anyway, off to therapy.

Genuine lol

Original poster
Oneisnotamused · 29/12/2025 11:47

My point is you don’t want to have sex with someone who you’re over-familiar with. Over familiarity kills lust, passion and desire after a while

OP posts:
Zov · 29/12/2025 11:46

Honestly @Oneisnotamused Full marks for the most batshit thread of the year. And there have been some strong contenders! 😆

Also, as has been said, how do you know what it's like to shag a sibling? 😱

Zov · 29/12/2025 11:46

Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/12/2025 11:43

I wouldn't know what shagging my siblings is like.

😆

Coffeeandbooks88 · 29/12/2025 11:43

I wouldn't know what shagging my siblings is like.

Zov · 29/12/2025 11:43

Weekmindedfool · 29/12/2025 11:27

Having shagged my brother, my best friend and my DH I can categorically tell you they are all different.

Anyway, off to therapy.

😂

Zov · 29/12/2025 11:42

DahlsChickenz · 29/12/2025 11:38

Excuse me what

Show quote history

I think that poster is having a laff! 😆

DancingPony · 29/12/2025 11:41

I don't think LTRs are for you op! Nothing wrong with that

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 29/12/2025 11:40

I have been with DH 25 years and still fancy him. It doesn't have to be boring, in fact IMO it keeps getting better. We also have kids so it's not that. What particularly has given you the ick? Maybe focus on understanding that rather than blaming how long you have been together.

AgentPidge · 29/12/2025 11:40

Very strange post. I've made babies with this guy. He's special. I still fancy him after 45 years.

DahlsChickenz · 29/12/2025 11:38

Weekmindedfool · 29/12/2025 11:27

Having shagged my brother, my best friend and my DH I can categorically tell you they are all different.

Anyway, off to therapy.

Excuse me what

Charlottian · 29/12/2025 11:37

Sex with my (very )long term partner just gets better and better the longer we are together.

I’ve never shagged a sibling or a friend, so I can’t compare, but the thought of doing either of these makes me want to be sick. Comparing the two is really very strange.

DahlsChickenz · 29/12/2025 11:37

Isn't that the entire point? That it's someone you love, like and have fun with, and the added bonus of getting to have regular sex?

It's obviously the case that some people lose attraction for their partners over time, but I don't think it's inevitable. I've been with my husband for 15 years and no ick here, still think he's gorgeous and still want to have sex with him.

ChabbaRanx · 29/12/2025 11:32

Personally, I don’t see much wrong with two people staying together when the lust (or even romantic love) has died, on the basis they’ve spent 30-40 years as a partnership, providing they enjoy each other’s company, respect and like one another, show that they appreciate the other person in other ways, and have built a life together.

BaubleMeTree · 29/12/2025 11:30

I have been with Dh for 30 years, still fancy him, still love spending time together. It is shagging your best friend and that is how it should be, he is my best friend. There has never been an ick to get over.

ThatJadeLion · 29/12/2025 11:30

The mystique often goes and raising children has amazed me how it changes people and relationships or has the ability to in some circumstances. You're not alone in feeling this way, although this thread might tell you otherwise! I have no answers however.

didntlikeanyofthesuggestions · 29/12/2025 11:30

What should long term marriage be like if not shagging your best friend? The sibling stuff is weird. Could OP be getting off on this?