Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teenage daughter wants to stay alone on new year

33 replies

Candleinalantern · 29/12/2025 10:41

DD is 16 nearly 17, we have been invited to a party for new year at a friends which her younger siblings are coming to. DD usually has plans with her friends but this year does not, i have invited her out with us but she has said no and I have said we will just stay in and have friends over to ours instead so she isn’t alone but she is saying she doesn’t want to go out and she doesn’t want us in. If we stayed in she would just sit in her room all night anyway and probably come down to see in the new year and go back back up to her room.

AIBU to go out? She keeps saying it’s no different to any other night we go out and leave her in but I feel like I don’t want to leave her on her own even though we have already made plans and she won’t see us anyway?

OP posts:
New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Original poster
Candleinalantern · 29/12/2025 15:43

Thanks everyone, didn’t know if I was just overthinking it and if it would be sly to leave on her own and just wanted an extra opinion, I like the idea of getting some snacks/leave money for a takeaway and do her a mini pamper pack, she actually loves being in the house by herself so feel better about it

OP posts:
VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 29/12/2025 14:04

She's told you what she wants to do. It happens to work out well with what you want to do.

Where's the problem?

myhaggisblewup · 29/12/2025 14:02

Vaxtable · 29/12/2025 11:01

Why do people make such a fuss over one night? Like millions of others I believe it’s just another day, and don’t celebrate in any form

just leave her be, if she wants to stay at home fine, you go to your party

It would have been cringe city to have to spend partying with my mum at 17, I don't celebrate new year on dec 31st anyway.
My new year is oct 31st as I'm a pagan and don't want to celebrate halloween either.

EmeraldShamrock000 · 29/12/2025 13:52

She’ll enjoy having the house to herself, as long as you don’t think she is depressed, she’ll be fine.

Mikart · 29/12/2025 13:50

Leave her alone!

BluntAzureDreamer · 29/12/2025 13:41

My daughter is 17, and is choosing to spend NYE at her dad's house because he's out! 😂 My DH and I will be home all night. She'd much rather have the house to herself. I think I your daughter has said exactly what she wants so you do your thing and leave her to it. Kids that age bloody love being home alone ☺️ (as long as you're sure she's not having a party... 😬)

ManyPigeons · 29/12/2025 13:39

So let her. She’s almost 17 and wants to chill. I am also debating staying home this year because I can’t be arsed with drunk people and socialising.

If you feel bad maybe put together a little pack for her to enjoy - chocolates, a face mask, a party popper, a bath bomb. She can have a pamper night in.

Alltheunreadbooks · 29/12/2025 13:37

New Year means absolute nothing to a lot of people. It can actually be a very upsetting time.

I have never understood the attraction of celebrating the tick of a clock, and I was very relieved when we finally stopped doing anything as family and treated it as a normal day.

Your daughter has just realised it's a completely contrived celebration ahead of being an adult and good luck to her I say!

Justputsomeyoghurtonit · 29/12/2025 13:36

Franpie · 29/12/2025 11:18

I’m having this exact same issue with my 14 year old DS. I also don’t know what to do for the best. I can’t force him to come with us to a friends party but I can’t face the thought of leaving him alone on NYE, it seems so depressing. He also won’t invite friends over nor does he want us to have a little party here. Argh!

So no help I’m afraid, just solidarity.

What's depressing about being alone? One of the longest nights of my life was being made to attend my parents friends NYE party at the same age!

I've never liked Xmas or NYE and was much much happier on my own reading my new books and eating toast.

Pineapplewaves · 29/12/2025 13:32

17 is old enough to be left home alone, leave her some drinks and snacks and go and enjoy your night out.

ChrimboLimbo · 29/12/2025 12:23

Franpie · 29/12/2025 11:18

I’m having this exact same issue with my 14 year old DS. I also don’t know what to do for the best. I can’t force him to come with us to a friends party but I can’t face the thought of leaving him alone on NYE, it seems so depressing. He also won’t invite friends over nor does he want us to have a little party here. Argh!

So no help I’m afraid, just solidarity.

Is he a gamer? If so he won't really be alone

SweeetFannyAdams · 29/12/2025 11:19

BauhausOfEliott · 29/12/2025 11:16

She’s almost 17; she can decide whether she’s happy to stay home alone or not. It’s NYE, not Christmas dinner!

At 17 I’d have thought my parents were being really bloody weird if they’d suggested turning down a party invite just so I wasn’t alone on NYE!

At 17 I’d have thought my parents were being really bloody weird if they’d suggested turning down a party invite just so I wasn’t alone on NYE!

Yeah me too.

I probably would've thought they were insinuating that I was weird or something.

Leave her alone OP, not everyone wants forced jollity.

Franpie · 29/12/2025 11:18

I’m having this exact same issue with my 14 year old DS. I also don’t know what to do for the best. I can’t force him to come with us to a friends party but I can’t face the thought of leaving him alone on NYE, it seems so depressing. He also won’t invite friends over nor does he want us to have a little party here. Argh!

So no help I’m afraid, just solidarity.

BauhausOfEliott · 29/12/2025 11:16

She’s almost 17; she can decide whether she’s happy to stay home alone or not. It’s NYE, not Christmas dinner!

At 17 I’d have thought my parents were being really bloody weird if they’d suggested turning down a party invite just so I wasn’t alone on NYE!

ilovesooty · 29/12/2025 11:02

Go and let her stay at home. I don't see why you should cancel an invitation that also involves your younger children.

Miranda65 · 29/12/2025 11:02

New Year isn't a big thing for lots of people especially at her age. She'll be fine and happy on her own, so please go out, and don't fuss over her.

awrbc81 · 29/12/2025 11:02

Just leave her, she’ll be fine. I’d have hated being dragged to a party full of younger kids when I was your DDs age.

Vaxtable · 29/12/2025 11:01

Why do people make such a fuss over one night? Like millions of others I believe it’s just another day, and don’t celebrate in any form

just leave her be, if she wants to stay at home fine, you go to your party

GreywackeJ · 29/12/2025 11:00

Just leave her to it. I wouldn’t have wanted to go out with my parents at her age.

5128gap · 29/12/2025 10:59

If I was a teen with no fun plans then I'd rather spend the night as normal than be expected to socialise in a way that didn't appeal.
Unless you're concerned about her in some way (she's had a big fall out with friends, or seems depressed, for example) I'd leave her be. If you are concerned then I'd discretely cancel my plans and stay in the house.

hockityponktas · 29/12/2025 10:57

The only thing I’d be worried about is that she’s unhappy? Seems maybe a bit off that she isn’t interested this time when she usually makes plans? (From an outsiders view anyway!)

Comedycook · 29/12/2025 10:55

I have a ds the same age...well hes 17 already. I doubt he'd be particularly excited or keen to come to a Nye party with me and my friends. He'd totally choose to stay at home.

Bundleflower · 29/12/2025 10:54

Just leave her some cash for a takeaway and then you know she can have a bit of a ‘celebration’ of it if she wants to. Easy!

ChrimboLimbo · 29/12/2025 10:54

YellowCherry · 29/12/2025 10:50

She might be feeling a bit rubbish if she hasn't been invited to any parties. I think you'll make her feel worse if you stay at home.

I agree. Being on your own at that age isn't as depressing as being with your family because they feel sorry for you.

ComtesseDeSpair · 29/12/2025 10:53

Candleinalantern · 29/12/2025 10:49

I’ve told her she can invite some friends over, I don’t think she’s particularly bothered about it.

Then I think it’s fine for you to go out and let her do her own thing. I don’t remember NYE feeling like a big celebratory milestone at her age: it didn’t mean much - things like birthdays and the end of the school year were the occasions my friends and I saw as pivotal points, a new year in January was just another year.