Dh bought me a small gift on out first date many yeats ago . Which i have kept treasured , on display.
He very rarely gets me a gift , ..despite knowing how important ut is for me as it makes me feel
thought of and cherished.
He says its because
he does things like the household forma that i struggle massively with as i have adhd…
that he has to remember to do things that bother me like be mindful of noise or putting the loo seat down as ir he is not relaxed/ always aware - as the adhd side of me really struggles with strange things like this and i really struggle with some domestic life
( i am also fun tho !)
He says he maintains the car , insurance ,like that and works and does practical things to
show love
He also says it’s because he lacks confidence what to choose- so i say what about a nice soap or a candle
.. something easy ..
he then he also says things like well he never thinks about it , plus we are on a limited income.
A year ago , he promised to get gifts sometimes- but thei actually resulted in me feeling anxious , as i knew he would make an effort then just naturally stop despise teh promise when he heard how important it is to me .
He often says well I do so and for you …
he does buy flowers from aldi when there .
i feel awful now as gifts will just feel
sort of forced.
I’ve explained it s not the gift but the thought behind it
Have tried to
explain for
years …maybe i just need to accept that he shows love on his terms , not mine .
Any idea how to quell what feels like a need in me and to accept my possibe Bu ?