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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Picking up items in will

38 replies

Chickencuddle · 29/12/2025 09:50

I have wrote on here before about my relationship with my family. Estranged from most of them. Etc.
My grandmother who I was in contact with recently passed away and she left me some jewellery in her will.
I live in Northern Ireland and the rest of my family lives in england. My uncle messaged asking me to get someone to pick up the jewellery.
I asked if I could pick up a certain weekend and he agreed. I booked flights. It is next qeekend and I am now messaging asking for times. I originally asked if I could pick up the thursday evening after we land. He said he was busy. I asked if we could come get it saturday morning. He said he was playing golf. I have now messaged asking when suits him and he hasn't replied.
I am worried as we booked these flights especially to pick up the jewellery and we really cant afford to come over again. He was not very nice to me when my grandma was dying and after. So I feel like he is being difficult.
Aibu?

OP posts:

Francestein · 01/01/2026 09:25

Just call the solicitors. He’s fucking you around.

MissMoneyFairy · 31/12/2025 11:49

If the jewellery is valuable it may need to be valued as part of the estate and not distributed until probate has been granted, if probate was needed.

GAJLY · 31/12/2025 11:46

Soontobe60 · 29/12/2025 09:51

Just tell him to leave it with the solicitors and you’ll collect it from there.

That’s a great idea.

DeftWasp · 31/12/2025 11:42

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 11:26

He has mdssage back though saying he will let me know so assuming he has contacted them.
Also when I googled it said it isnt appropriate for anyone other than the executer to contact solicitors. Im worried ill make things worse.

There may not be a solicitor involved, there doesn't have to be.

DeftWasp · 31/12/2025 11:40

Chickencuddle · 29/12/2025 10:13

No not really. Rubbish situation

Just get them sent by insured carrier?

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 11:33

I have asked what time he is free and no reply so I then said about solicitors and he said he would do thay and let me know.
Not calling as estranged not spoken in 20 odd years

OP posts:

miamo12 · 31/12/2025 11:30

you have only suggested two times and if he does an activity on Thursday evenings (I do) and has already booked to play golf with friends he won’t be changing plans, why not try Friday? Saturday afternoon?

NotDavidTennant · 31/12/2025 11:30

Why are you messaging back and forth when you can just call him and have a conversation?

MissMoneyFairy · 31/12/2025 11:29

If there are solicitors involved they may be the executors, I'd ring and ask them, I wouldn't contact uncle again, what are the items, can they be posted instead.

miamo12 · 31/12/2025 11:28

To be fair to him, I doubt solicitors are open this week, he’s unlikely to be able to confirm you can collect from a solicitor until Monday.

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 11:26

OP posts:

midsomermurderer · 31/12/2025 11:24

Dont contact him again, just contact the solicitor from now on. If they tell you to contact him send them an extract of all your messages showing you have tried and that he isn't replying. If he is named executor then he will be failing in his responsibilities and they may well give him a reminder that he has a legal obligation to behave properly.

SalmonOnFinnCrisp · 31/12/2025 11:21

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 11:11

Do you think I should phone them or is that overstepping?

Phone the solicitors and do it now now...

Explain the situation and that if the items cannot be made available to you for collection at their office or by your uncle (explain how difficult he has been) then they (the solicitor) will need to secure the items and you expect them to be couriered to you at the expense of the estate.

Send a follow-up email to solicitors summarising events so far and attach full messaging correspondence with uncle.

Tinsles · 31/12/2025 11:17

Yes contact the solicitor.
You are travelling to collect your property, it is not unreasonable.
Keep careful notes of all efforts to contact your uncle and solicitors.
Email them too.
Should you need to make a complain, a paper trail is very useful.

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 11:11

Do you think I should phone them or is that overstepping?

OP posts:

TryingToBeLogical · 31/12/2025 11:06

I really hate it when someone who has to do one tiny small thing doesn’t do it, after you’ve put in 99% of the work, or enjoys holding onto some transient power like this. Keep in contact with the solicitor, they surely will want you to get the jewelry so that their obligations regarding it are discharged. I hope you can make an appointment with them, and that they call the uncle about it…and then if you turn up and the stuff is not there, he’s now looking bad in their eyes. What a passive aggressive jerk.

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 10:57

Oh. Hes just messaged me back: "as I have said I will let you know if I hear anything.."
So no idea what that means has he contacted them and waiting for them to message back. Also hes obviously missed at me asking.

OP posts:

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 31/12/2025 10:42

Messaged him again asking if he had contacted them. No reply. Will phone solicitors friday thank you

OP posts:

CheshireDing · 31/12/2025 06:56

He's just being difficult, no reason he can't leave the items at the solicitors with a weeks notice !

The solicitors might not be open until Monday or might have skeleton staff until then, I would ring them and email them if no joy on the phone to book an appointment to collect items which are being left with them for you to collect, as per the will. Explain that you are flying over hence needing appointment date and time. Then also contact them on the Wednesday to confirm the items are there ready

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 29/12/2025 19:14

Sent him another message saying alternatively he can leave at the solicitors and I can pick it up. He messaged back saying he would speak to them and let me know. O googled times they were open and asked for it to be there by next thursday if he is choosing that option as closed at the weekend. Feel like I have to cover all bases as he seems to be difficult for the sake of it. But maybe not hard to know.

OP posts:

Theslummymummy · 29/12/2025 13:19

He's blocked you

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 29/12/2025 12:33

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 29/12/2025 12:12

Who is the executor?

No idea. Could be him?

OP posts:

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 29/12/2025 12:12

Who is the executor?

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 29/12/2025 12:10

Ask him to leave with solicitor so you can collect on Friday

Original poster

Chickencuddle · 29/12/2025 10:32

My cousin doesnt live nearby though. Just thought she might be able to nudge him. She lives down south

OP posts:

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