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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not join in the 24/7 365 days a year workplace whatsapp chat?

66 replies

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 08:50

We don't have work phones so the whatsapp work chat is on our home phones. I don't use my home phone for work as I don't need a phone for my work.

My colleagues chat on the whatsapp in evenings, on weekends, whilst they are on holiday - including when they are away on holiday in a different time zone on a different continent - and are chatting away over the Christmas break too. Including on Christmas day.

Messages from them are popping up right now as I write this and our workplace is still closed down so no-one is actually at work.

I do not want to do this. I like a clear line between work and home and I really don't want to be whatsapping with work people on Sunday morning when I am with my kids, or whilst opening presents on Christmas day! Or indeed ever when I am not at work.

AIBU?

( I don't think I am but is this 24/7 365 whatsapp work chat considered normal now?!)

OP posts:
JamJar187 · 29/12/2025 09:31

Get a PAYG burner phone for work.

Let them add your on WhatsCrapp for that if necessary.

Your usual phone, never divulge that number to work or colleagues. Never be disturbed again.

Easy really.

Pigriver · 29/12/2025 09:29

Over the years we have had lots of chats with different people/teams. I found it too much. Work should be discussed in emails and social chat is for lunchtimes! Thankfully my current team don't have one and I'm very thankful. We have a whole organisation emergency one which is posted on very infrequently (like informing everyone of a fire drill, problem etc) and every now and again a certain staff member posts some utter gross and is quickly reminded it's for emergencies only!
Definitely the way to go.

Definitely not the norm and don't feel bad about leaving it just mute it. My limit would be wishing people a happy Christmas/new year but beyond that I wouldn't post.

Talkingtomyhouseplants · 29/12/2025 09:29

YANBU but I have had this happen to be and thought about it a lot. There is a certain buzz that comes from posting things in a group chat - getting to share parts of your day with people, send the odd meme - it makes you feel part of something.

Most people have a family chat or a friend group chat they use this for. I find those who are over active in the work chat don’t have a whole lot going on in their real life.

Reminds me of some work colleagues who suggested the Saturday before Christmas as a good day for the Christmas party.

So not unreasonable at all but just mute and archive and feel a bit sorry for them that this is all they have.

SilverGlitterBaubles · 29/12/2025 09:28

If it’s a team chat for work to notify of something work related then thats fine but social chats are a no go for me.

Elisheva · 29/12/2025 09:25

I definitely think it’s to do with whether you consider the people you work with to be ‘friends’ or not. I love my colleagues, I have enjoyed seeing how they have spent Christmas and what they’ve been up to. We obviously have limited time to just chat at work so the WhatsApp group is used as a catch up, and often to check in on people who are having a hard time for one reason or another.
But I can see that this would be weird if your colleagues were effectively a group of strangers that you just happen to work alongside.

Blueuggboots · 29/12/2025 09:24

Mute it.

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 29/12/2025 09:24

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 09:16

See, I don't see these people as friends. They all absolutely refuse to ever go into the office. So they aren't real life friends at all. I'd rather see them in person in the office and get to know them than chat with people I don't really knowk and who have no interest in talking to me in real life, over whatsapp.

We’re all mostly remote, as well. Very very rarely go into the office. But we do talk all day and occasionally meet up socially. For me, personally, it’s a great way to work.

Anyway, the way you feel is totally reasonable, as well. People are different. 😊

andfinallyhereweare · 29/12/2025 09:18

Mute it and lock it so you won’t get any notifications or even see the chat it will be hidden away but you don’t have to leave

holachicatita · 29/12/2025 09:17

One girl on my work one posted 15 pictures of her nephew's dinner dance. Pretty sure none of us have ever met him and most have never even heard of him. Then all the rest of them commenting 'lovely', 'so handsome' etc etc. I'm sure it makes me a right misery guts but I just completely ignored it!

Catza · 29/12/2025 09:16

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 08:54

I have muted it. That's not really my question. I'm asking whether people think it is anti-social to not join in. Is it considered normal for work colleagues to chat 24/7 now?

I don't look at it ever. Not when I am at work. Its my home phone. I don't like the intrusion of work people to my non-work things.

I don't really give much though to wither it's anti-social or not. When people ask me if they can add me to a chat (whether it's work or social) I say outright that it's OK but bare in mind that I will mute it so if it's anything important, I may not pick it up right away.
I have wonderful relationships with all my work colleagues so it has never been an issue.
Do what you need to do. I am sure nobody is expecting you to participate.

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 09:16

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 29/12/2025 09:09

People at my workplace are friends. We have a similar What’s App and it’s been merrily updated all week whilst we’ve been on Christmas break. I enjoy seeing what everyone is up to.

Some people post more/less, but I don’t think there’s anyone who completely opts out. However, I’d really have to think about it and/or check. It’s not something I’d notice or care about. So, I think it’s fine if it’s just not your thing.

See, I don't see these people as friends. They all absolutely refuse to ever go into the office. So they aren't real life friends at all. I'd rather see them in person in the office and get to know them than chat with people I don't really knowk and who have no interest in talking to me in real life, over whatsapp.

OP posts:
holachicatita · 29/12/2025 09:14

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 08:57

When I archive it reappears every time someone posts a new post. Is there a way to stop it doing this?

Yes that's when you mute it.. if someone else sends you a WhatsApp you'll see the chat pop up but you won't get notifications. The best option is to archive it, you'll see a little number at the top but that's it.

Sometimeswinning · 29/12/2025 09:12

If you left ours we’d probably judge you. But it would be a private thing and you’d never know.

I think it’s pretty normal these days. I have a couple of work groups and there is a lot of chatter. I think it’s nice. I can dip in or mute when I want.

I think your reaction is pretty big to a small problem. But you’ll probably find people on your wavelength here!

Funnywonder · 29/12/2025 09:11

I don’t think anyone here can answer whether ignoring your work colleagues on WhatsApp will seem rude or antisocial to them. What matters is whether you care. If you’re so determined to keep work and home separate (which is completely understandable), I’m guessing you don’t want any interaction with them outside office hours, so just crack on. But you can’t really do this AND care what they think of you. You have to just not care. I know it’s not something I could be arsed with.

RappelChoan · 29/12/2025 09:10

It’s nice to have work friends, I have numerous chats that I dip in and out of with colleagues and former colleagues. Perfectly normal time.

BCBird · 29/12/2025 09:10

Purlant · 29/12/2025 08:50

Just mute it?

That's what I did with ny union work.place whats app. It was driving me mad. Once I left I exited the group too. I understand what you.mean about the line bwn work and home. Think there is a way to archive the chat too

Duckiewasthefirstniceguy · 29/12/2025 09:09

People at my workplace are friends. We have a similar What’s App and it’s been merrily updated all week whilst we’ve been on Christmas break. I enjoy seeing what everyone is up to.

Some people post more/less, but I don’t think there’s anyone who completely opts out. However, I’d really have to think about it and/or check. It’s not something I’d notice or care about. So, I think it’s fine if it’s just not your thing.

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 09:07

Egglio · 29/12/2025 09:02

You can put it in locked chats and mute it, then it won't notify you or pop up at the top whenever there is a new message. Locked chats does stick at the top, but you won't know if there are messages unless you look. Also tell your DH you are doing this so he doesn't think you're having an affair 😁

I hate WhatsApp groups.

Thanks - this is helpful. : )

OP posts:
Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 09:07

TappyGilmore · 29/12/2025 09:03

Definitely not normal. I’ve never had it anywhere I’ve worked. Do your colleagues not have friends or families to be chatting with instead of just their workmates? Quite sad really. I could understand it maybe in a workplace full of very young people, but not in a workplace with older people or a range of ages.

They all have families. I presume they all have friends.

OP posts:
PhantomOfAllKnowledge · 29/12/2025 09:04

I wouldn't join a work WhatsApp chat.

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 09:03

Christmascaketime · 29/12/2025 09:00

Unusual to be chatting 24/7. We have one on our personal phones that people occasionally use, I wouldn’t like it frequently. It’s usually useful info eg work room changed or issue on roads that’s helpful to know before you get in building but sometimes a photo or something been talking about in office. My boss did wish everyone merry Christmas on Christmas Day. Only one person on team doesn’t want to join it and he doesn’t come to Christmas meal or leaving dos. His choice.

See if were used like this it would be fine. I haven't left because I do occasionally use it so say I'm stuck in a traffic jam if we are all going to the same event.

But instead you get people posting photos of their Friday night takeaway or a cake they have baked sunday afternoon and stuff.

OP posts:
TappyGilmore · 29/12/2025 09:03

Definitely not normal. I’ve never had it anywhere I’ve worked. Do your colleagues not have friends or families to be chatting with instead of just their workmates? Quite sad really. I could understand it maybe in a workplace full of very young people, but not in a workplace with older people or a range of ages.

Fgfgfg · 29/12/2025 09:02

I am the grumpy one at work. I've refused to join and told them that if they believe it's essential then they can buy me a work phone. They don't like it but can't force me to use my phone for work.

Egglio · 29/12/2025 09:02

Bebetterbetty · 29/12/2025 08:57

When I archive it reappears every time someone posts a new post. Is there a way to stop it doing this?

You can put it in locked chats and mute it, then it won't notify you or pop up at the top whenever there is a new message. Locked chats does stick at the top, but you won't know if there are messages unless you look. Also tell your DH you are doing this so he doesn't think you're having an affair 😁

I hate WhatsApp groups.

thedevilinablackdress · 29/12/2025 09:02

I was asked to join a work WhatsApp social group. I said "no thanks". They still talk to me, invite me to things and interact as normal at work.