MIL gave children gifts from a homeless charity for christmas!

What she did is horrible but you said she has 3 adult children living at home but are they paying rent and bills, maybe she doesnt have any money, maybe they are all taking the mickey out of her, i think your hubby needs to talk to her and see if she has money and if these adults are paying rent and bills, why are they still living with her? Is she paying for all the food?

That isn't the way that these charities work - they don't have surplus, there are so many people in need

Yes - but when we buy we wrap them or put them in gift bags - actually the charity asks that you hand in wrapping paper so they check the presents first - but they do come from the parent on the day. Someone else just buys it

Maybe she volunteers for the charity and was gifted them as a thank you for her support if they had surplus gifts left.

Yeah but again all places are different, aren't they?

Some more formal and some less so.

Because the gifts get given to the parent or guardian to hand over. I buy the gifts and put them in gift bags. I don't sign the gift tags. The charity drops the gifts to the parent or guardian and they give them to their kids on Christmas day

sounds to me that op is most upset about the lack of money mil spent rather than anything else.
perhaps these were offered to her at cost price

How would they know, mum picks up presents, wraps them up, puts a tag “to daughter love mum” and hands to daughter on Xmas day?

that’s the way it’s supposed to work, the gift receiver doesn’t know it’s a charity donation

I'm not talking about food banks when I used the word referred. I'm aware that there are food banks that people need to be referred to and ones that you don't need referred to

I was talking about a charity that I buy gifts for for people in need. They need to be referred - by social work or hospitals or other agencies.

The gifts go directly to the parent or guardian via the charities - it would not happen that someone would be able to access presents that other people bought to give to grandkids - just because they use a food bank

It has to be well run and Co ordinated because there are so many people needing help and they have to make sure that the people getting the gifts are actually in need

The charity I work for works on a professional referral basis too. Over 80% of our referrals come from statutory services such as health visitors, social workers, early help or schools. Whilst it’s not impossible to lie to these services in order to get help, it’s less likely as there will be an ongoing relationship and many of the professionals regularly visit the family’s homes.

Neither would the person receiving the gift know that it had come from a charity
How would that work?

If she took them under false pretences then clearly it needs looking into.

However, you need to be absolutely certain that she is not genuinely struggling herself.
There could be things she is keeping from you regarding her finances. Sometimes situations are not how they appear on the outside.
If she has been to a foodbank she would have needed a referral for that. They don't just dish it out to anyone. Someone (a professional person) must have assessed her situation at some point and decided she was eligible for support.

It isn't as simple as that. You are ignoring the upset to people's lives caused by drug addiction, abuse, violence and mental health problems. It isn't just about not having enough money from the government to do your weekly shop. You need emergency stop gaps for people whose lives aren't going well for whatever reason. My brother has ended up temporarily homeless because of severe mental health problems. He has been helped by police, social services and mental health teams but they have to find him first and he has to be a danger to himself or others before they can intervene without his consent. In the meantime charities that give out food and warm drinks probably have helped him. I don't know for sure because he hasn't spoken about it. I always donate to them for the sake of other people's children and siblings though.

Not all food banks require referrals from a professional. The Trussell Trust require a referral, indeoendant ones make their own rules. I was on a regional committe for food banks and food projects around 15 years ago. There are currently 2 in my town, one is totally independent and gives food with zero questions asked.

I have to say this - but the charity are also at fault here. I donate to a Scottish charity that gives gifts to people who are vulnerable and no way would this ever happen.

The way it is done where I am is that people are referred from various agencies and then the gifts get donated directly to the people in need

Someone would not be allowed just to rock up and say - I need presents. Neither would the person receiving the gift know that it had come from a charity

I would speak to the charity - because clearly they don't have enough safeguards in place to stop people abusing this system

Your MIL may be using a food bank but she's not poor. She doesn't need these gifts - and some people do - badly

So there we have it, the OP doesn't actually know.

It's been pointed out many times on the thread that plenty of foodbanks don't require referrals and plenty do.

This is dreadful and it’s made me so angry. My work is centred around vulnerable communities that rely heavily on food banks and gift donations. These charities are struggling as it is trying to garner donations for the growing number of vulnerable families. I am incensed that she is accessing something she has no need for . She is a horrible individual.

Not necessarily - the charity I buy Christmas presents for - the people receiving them have to be referred. Just using a food bank wouldn't qualify them for receiving gifts for third parties

Good point. Some children don't leave home because they have it so good. Also ML could have a secret gambling problem or something.

That cannot be one run by a charity. Registered charities have to account for where their food goes. Are you sure this is a food back for those in need and not a food hub/larder run by volunteers to save food going to landfill?

That's bonkers! How much food is 'wasted' on those who could afford to buy it?

She needs outing to the charity and also to the food banks ! She is a greedy weasel, and people should know. Those poor genuine families in need, what a vile women she is. Shame her she deserves it !

Yes this. Unfortunately parents and even charity volunteers have been known to sell children's donated presents at the pub, generally to obtain a drug fix. It puts people off donating. Does the charity provide hours for people on community work sentences. This can be another way donations get pilfered.

Am wondering if she actually accesses a food club not a food bank. People often mixes these up.

Food bank are usually referrals only and have a limit how many times a year you can access.

Food clubs tend to be community based where you sign up as a member and pay a small amount such as £4 each time you attend for a bag or two of shopping. Some of these clubs sometimes sell additional items as well for a small amount. They may also give gifts to children for free or a small donation such as at Christmas.

Food clubs aren’t always restricted to people on benefits/set incomes either as the items on offer are either pass use by date or surplus stock. It’s a way of reducing food waste.

She must be lying if she is getting food from the food bank. I volunteer for a Trussell trust food bank. Every client has a record on the computer. They will have been asked a lot of personal details. If she regularly calls to request a food parcel she will have had even more questions asked.
I am very, very surprised she is getting away with this.