MIL gave children gifts from a homeless charity for christmas!

MIL will never make the donation but I do agree- it feels unfair for the OP to feel she has to take on some obligation to right this.

if she or her children don’t want the toys I’d probably just take them to the tip reuse shop or similar. I wouldn’t get myself involved in a job over it.

It's possible but irrelevant.

These projects are for CHILDREN in need, who might not another gift.

Not for Grandparents or other relatives who want the joy of giving to their comfortable grandchildren.

We have relatives who can't afford gifts at Christmas time and we just don't expect gifts. I'd be horrified if my spoilt well-provided for daughter received a gift meant for a child who lived in poverty.

I personally think the MIL should be making the donation. She's caused this situation

There are community larders in my area - but there are also food banks where people can just turn up

The charity probably wouldn't accept it back - it's unlikely that they accept second hand gifts. Some toy drives do but charities like this probably won't

Yes, the child's name plus age would be extraordinarily unusual and extremely unprofessional, in my experience. Make of that what you will.

There sounds very much like a community larder, not a food bank. There’s one near me, they encourage all people to go as it is to save food waste, they clearly state it is not just for people struggling with finances

Well I would ask each kid to choose one thing to keep and say we're giving the rest to the charity it came from.

And at the same time for a bit of a toy and game audit and get the kids involved in donating some of their own unwanted stuff as well. It could be a good way to teach them about charity and donating things.

You don't need to say anything bad about her to the kids.

She sounds like the type that won't take heed of your advice or opinion so I wouldn't even really bother saying much to her about it. It is weird though obviously.

She uses food banks but doesn’t need to? Sorry but that is just despicable. What an awful woman. I would dob her in anonymously. My DH volunteers in our local food bank and the people they support are in dire need. They are proud people and the minute they get back on their feet they stop using it. She is taking away from desperate people who need help. I really couldn’t have anything to do with someone with such low morals. What does your DH think about this?

That's the same for the charity I buy gifts for. All we are told is the ages of the kids who need presents. I normally buy for teen girls but this year I bought for the 0-6 months age groups - no identifying information

The OP said she has a well paid job and is mortgage free

The gifts had my childrens names on the piece of paper and age.

I haven't read the whole thread, but I've worked with several charities that have done Christmas gifts for children whose families are in similar circumstances, and in none of them would we have the child's name. If, through some circumstance we did, we would never write it down. The most identifying we would ever get would be age (usually in a range, not specific) and gender.

I'm actually happy to give the gifts I give in good faith. I do understand your point but the charity I buy for helps 17000 families every year and I would rather take the chance than not donate

I don’t think you can take the toys off your children at this point. I wouldn’t tell the charity either but instead I would (if you can afford it) send a donation to that particular charity in the new year. How old is your MIL?

Maybe charities shouldn’t actually accept more than they need?
Giving the stuff away to people who don’t actually need it just to get rid is making a bit of a mockery of people who donated with good intentions.

One in my area absolutely does. I've never used it but it's run by a church and all they ask is that people turn up and bring a bag - some people find it very hard to go through the process of accessing a food bank and they are trying to remove the stigma attached

And this is why only donate to animals (i buy the food and give to a sanctuary).
i have seen how these food banks and gifts for children are exploited, in my line of work we get food boxes delivered to give to people in need, no one ever wants them as they are usually full of tinned food which is of no help if you live on the streets. Gifts given for children are often sold by the parents as no one checks they actually have contact with their children for whom the gifts are for.
A friends neighbour was quite vocal about how she rarely had to go food shopping as she ‘volunteered’ at the local food bank, not so vocal now my friend reported her and she has been told she is not welcome anymore.
it is sad but the reality is you never know where your donations are going.

I think sometimes the problem with the surplus is lack of storage space.

This is one of the most awful things I think I've read, out of the things MILs have done on Mumsnet.
She is unbelievably selfish and I would not be able to let this go - I'd be confronting her about it.
I REALLY, really hope it's something she has purchased from the charity rather than taking under the pretence of vulnerability.
If it's the latter, I'd be absolutely furious and would march HER back to the charity to return them and make HER give a donation. How bloody awful.

Thats not a food bank that will be a community pantry. No foodbanks allow folk to just show up and will give out food.

And yet if you read the thread, people have repeatedly posted about a surplus at foodbanks where they work.

Again, all places are not exactly the same.

Keep it for next Christmas.

The way the OP described it in the beginning looked pretty formal to me. A gift coming from a charity that is supposed to go to someone vulnerable. It's the charity who haven't done their checks here

This is appalling op. She works fulltime and is mortgage free?

Tell your dh to tell her you don't want presents that are for vulnerable children. I'd also let the food bank know she is fraudulently using their services.

Ok. That's that theory blown then.