MIL gave children gifts from a homeless charity for christmas!

It's called fudging the details all over the place to hide your real identity. This is an anonymous forum and plenty want to keep that anonymity. If you post enough information about yourself across multiple threads and are consistent with it, someone who actually knows you IRL could eventually recognise you. So people name change occasionally and alter minor details about their lives that don't affect the situation of the thread.

You can't just turn up to a food bank, you need to go through a process and then be referred. If she's going then either her financial circumstances are very different to what you imagine or she's commuting very serious financial fraud.

I wouldn't contact the charity to be honest - they will be able to give you zero information about the circumstances around how she came to get these gift packages and I HIGHLY doubt they will want them back. I've worked in this sector and every year we would use a list of who needed to be catered for and we usually ended up with extra as people are really generous and we would never have left anyone without. So I'd be surprised if they would want them back. They may have got these gifts as donations from another charity so how far back do you take it. At the end of the day, I think your girls deserve to have a gift from granny so I wouldn't be putting any child in a position to have to give a gift back.

Your dh needs to have a word with mil and clarify that is not what this type of service is for and that you do not consent to her giving out your kids details to a service you are not using. If you wanted to, you could contact the charity and ask if they have recorded your kids/ your info and ask for that to be removed from their systems if you're bothered about it.

I think she sounds like she has issues - unclear what they are or where they stem from- but all you can do is have dh point out the behaviour and why it's not ok and then really it's up to her what she does with that.

Also just to say, where I am we have food banks that are aimed at reducing food waste as opposed to just alleviating poverty so anyone can go in and take what they want. There are also a few community organisations that run a specific Christmas toy shop where goods are paid for and money goes back into the charity. So until your dh speaks to her and gets the details you don't actually know what this is.

I didn’t know that. That could put people off donating 😕

So why mention ages of the children at all then, if you need to lie then how will people know which bit is true or not, seems attention seeking

As for presents no one has to buy any for anyone children included and no I dont keep track of who buys what or not

On a forum where name changing is allowed, it's probably much better to do that as regardless of the ages the OP has picked today, the thread is incredibly outing in its detail anyway.

I do this all the time…change my kids ages and family details….never know who’s on here do ya 😜

Oh God no mistake

Standard online safety advice/staying anonymous advice is to change ages and locations etc each time you post.

That doesn't explain the other threads but ok, thanks for answering.

Get your husband to phone her and ask why some charity gifts have been given to your kids.
Just call her out!

I don’t think I’d go in all guns blazing yet. It could be that the association had been overwhelmed with gifts/donations and your mother had somehow been present/knows the organisers and they asked her if she had grandchildren who could make use of the excess. There could be an explanation. Try and find out, maybe via your dh if he could raise it with his mum.

I've volunteered a few times with a charity that collects and distributes Christmas gifts for children. All the recipients were referred by professionals (SW or similar) or other charities that were actively involved with the families. No one could just nominate themselves. If MIL has obtained these gifts under false pretences the charity would definitely want to know.

I was just going to say this. I volunteer at a community pantry and pantry members are asked to fill in a form in Oct/Nov with ages of children they require gifts for. Foodbanks often need referrals from agencies but pantries are different.

OP your MIL may have 3 adult children living at home and earn a good salary BUT going by the many threads on here that say adult children don’t contribute to the household that may be a factor? She may earn a good salary but is it all spent on supporting these adults that live with her?

As I said earlier if you’re in doubt speak to the charity.

Lots of food banks you don’t need any referrals just turn up and put your name down and it’s done on trust unfortunately

We have some food banks near us which are actually community run and users can pay a small fee for items. It’s not run by the government or needing referrals so anyone can in theory join for discounted food. Usually, only those on low incomes do because there’s stigma and you can’t do a full shop so it’s not particularly convenient for those that can afford a proper shop. However, those that join can also access gifts at Christmas which are again at a nominal fee. It’s possible that your MIL is using something similar and whilst you could argue it is morally wrong, it’s not actually illegal and she may not have stolen anything. A quick call to them would confirmed how their scheme runs and people access it. I’d look into this fully before making accusations as she may have paid something towards these gifts.

This is strange. I’ve worked in many jobs where I have had capacity to refer people up food banks. They usually only accept referrals a limited amount of times. She must be conning a professional somewhere to get these referrals.

Or you late unaware of her real circumstances eg debt.

I would guess a community pantry

I don't understand how she is able to access the food bank if she is well off? That doesn't add up at all... are you saying she has somehow conned her way into the food bank as well?

This

In that case you need to let the charity know. Thats disgraceful.

If this is true, she’s a con woman. Food banks require referrals from professionals. You can’t just rock up and say you are in dire straights and need their help.