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Original poster

Positive stories of your autistic girls and women

37 replies

fruitfly3 · 28/12/2025 21:57

I have a wonderful 9 year old daughter who is autistic. She is mainstream educated, bright, creative and a lovely old soul. She adores soft toys, imaginary worlds, open ended play, magic, games and being outside. She couldn’t be less interested in clothes, popular culture (K Pop, 67 and all that), socialising, make up etc. As she gets older, the gap between her and her peers widens. Christmas is particularly hard - she doesn’t go to the parties and shuns the socials, asking to leave constantly. We generally create a happy world for her, but this is a balance as we also have a very outgoing child, and my husband and I want to have friends too. We don’t have grandparents and extended family to support us.

I worry so much for her - for what she’s been through, for what she’ll go through. For the loneliness that comes with feeling different. I’m rambling - I would love to hear about positive and proud stories of your autistic teenagers and young women. Posting here for traffic - apologies, SEN boards don’t get much traffic.

OP posts:
Original poster
fruitfly3 · 28/12/2025 22:25

Thank you much - I didn’t expect so many personal stories! This is so helpful and I’m reading everything.

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CrypticField · 28/12/2025 22:25

Just to add - I hated school. I actually left aged 15 with no qualifications. Every aspect of secondary school was hell.

Life was much better when I could chose my subjects and attend a quiet, small college; I thrived academically then.

clinellwipe · 28/12/2025 22:22

Just echoing PP that it would have made a huge difference to my self esteem if I had known sooner. I was always picked last in PE, I remember crying with frustration unable to thread a needle in Textiles class, couldn’t use a can opener at my Saturday job in a local cafe - it wasn’t until I was diagnosed with dyspraxia in my twenties that so much made sense, and autism later on.

I also struggled socially at primary school, but as secondary school was larger I made some friends and by Uni I had lots of friends. Now after moving around the UK with work and then motherhood I’m back to having few friends again but I’m content with that for now

CrypticField · 28/12/2025 22:21

You could be describing me at her age! I'm Autistic and I have ADHD.

I thrived academically and gained a PhD, I built my own business from scratch and became financially secure around age 30 when I sold that business. I then started a new business which I do for enjoyment, part time, and the rest of my time is split between volunteering and hobbies.

Socially, I have a wonderful close group of friends (most are also neurodiverse) and I've been married to the most loving, caring man for 18 years.

I will say, most of us are childfree by choice as parenthood just did not appeal!

I feel that being autistic & ADHD has been an advantage for me in lots of ways. :)

clinellwipe · 28/12/2025 22:17

She sounds EXACTLY like how I was as a 9 year old! Especially the soft toys. I have felt different my whole life and there have been struggles with that, definitely. But I’ve also had a fantastic life so far. Won a scholarship to study Psychology at uni, then went onto medical school after and worked as a hospital doctor in England and Northern Ireland. Now married with two kids in a part of England I adore.

My son is autistic and I’m so worried about him starting mainstream school in September. I think my mum still worries about me too.

Original poster
fruitfly3 · 28/12/2025 22:16

@QuirkyHorse sorry things were so hard for you both, but so glad your DD has found her groove outside of school. Similarly, school is a struggle for us. I dread secondary.

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Ponderingwindow · 28/12/2025 22:15

I’m in my 50s. I obviously got no support in my childhood. I was just the strange, oddly smart girl.

I found my people when I got to university. I got a degree, went to grad school, and got a fantastic job. I have a husband and child. I’m still awkward as hell. I’m happy though.

My DD has ASD and I’m not worried about her. She has so much support. It’s so much easier for her generation. Yes, she is quirky. When she got to secondary school, she found her group. Primary was hard just because her school was too small to have other kids like her. She doesn’t socialize the way a stereotypical teenager might, but she still has friends and a life. She drives. She is going to university soon. We are talking about careers and back up careers if AI or the economy make her ideal plans difficult.

Life is good.

QuirkyHorse · 28/12/2025 22:11

Autistic dd.
Bright, went to grammar school, had few friends. Generally hated school, had to drag her there many a time. GCSE's were particularly traumatic, for all of us.

Left school, didn't know what to do, definitely didn't want to take the A level and uni route.

Did an apprenticeship in a trade, last month was awarded apprentice of the year.

She has a group of close knit friends who "get" her.

Leaving school was the making of her, she has told me she can remember very little about it because she has blocked it out. She just at found school life really hard.

I am so proud of the young woman she has become.
Don't get me wrong, she can still be a nightmare but she is definitely more self aware than she was.

Original poster
fruitfly3 · 28/12/2025 22:09

@Jungleballsjungleballs absolutely this - she is wonderful. Up to me to hold my own tension around her not fitting in.

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Original poster
fruitfly3 · 28/12/2025 22:08

@geminicancerean thank you. That’s hugely inspiring. I’m so glad we knew early and hopefully can avoid the major bumps in the road.

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Jungleballsjungleballs · 28/12/2025 22:07

Let her be her - no pressure to fit in - she will eventually ‘find her tribe’ people who will love her for who she is.

encourage her interests - let her delight in the things that bring her joy - don’t force her to confirm to what the world says a teenage girl ‘should’ be.

let her be free to be her snd to love her passions… many will not understand her and yes she often won’t fit in - but ‘fitting in’ at the expense of being authentic and true to who she is - will cause MH issues.

love her - delight in her joy and celebrate the unique and wonderful person she is.

The world at times is and will be cruel - but knowing she has a family who accept her 100% for who she is is absolutely priceless .

geminicancerean · 28/12/2025 22:01

44 year old autistic woman here with two degrees, a husband, two kids, my own home and a shit tonne of brilliant memories of adventures. It took me a while to find my groove but by 24 I was well on my way.

I also have an autistic son, it’s so fascinating to me how we can be so similar and yet different. We have similar sensory profiles but he has associated learning disability and will never live independently, whereas I have been fully independent for over 20 years. He has a great life too, it’s just a different path.

If I’d known that I was autistic in my teens it would have made an enormous difference to my quality of life - I just thought I was weird and crap at everything except reading books.