Page 2 | To ask what the line is between friends with benefits, and a relationship?

Original poster

BoxOfCats · 29/12/2025 04:52

lookluv · 29/12/2025 02:21

OP walk away. I have spent 4 yrs with a guy who allegedly did not want a full relationship so we were FWB plus a lot of the emotional support and a lot of commitment - ie holidays together, meals out, talking there when i was ill and vice versa but he did not consider this a relationship. We texted everyday, spoke in the evening everyday.
I turned up as usual for a weekend at his place last January and he basically told me he had found someone who was great and he was really enjoying himself and we could continue our relationship but on a less frequent basis.

I walked away and was the best thing i have done. We were not FWB we were in a relationship by any definition of the word and he cheated. there is a fine line between FWB and a stop gap relationship.

I miss all the good thngs we had but would never trust him again

Wow, ok. I’m so sorry to hear that happened to you.

I see what you’re saying. Although my ex partner of 10 years, who I lived with, owned a house and pets together with, also left me for another woman. So I guess there are really no guarantees even when someone indicates they’re in a relationship with you. Which makes it harder to figure out what to do.

OP posts:

Katflapkit · 29/12/2025 02:57

BoxOfCats · 28/12/2025 20:20

Curious to know what others think the distinction is exactly. I’ve been seeing someone for several months who says he doesn’t want a relationship, however otherwise appears to behave like we are in one (and neither of us are seeing anyone else).

What defines one versus the other?

Do you want to be in a relationship with him?

How did you meet?

lookluv · 29/12/2025 02:21

OP walk away. I have spent 4 yrs with a guy who allegedly did not want a full relationship so we were FWB plus a lot of the emotional support and a lot of commitment - ie holidays together, meals out, talking there when i was ill and vice versa but he did not consider this a relationship. We texted everyday, spoke in the evening everyday.
I turned up as usual for a weekend at his place last January and he basically told me he had found someone who was great and he was really enjoying himself and we could continue our relationship but on a less frequent basis.

I walked away and was the best thing i have done. We were not FWB we were in a relationship by any definition of the word and he cheated. there is a fine line between FWB and a stop gap relationship.

I miss all the good thngs we had but would never trust him again

Applewisp · 28/12/2025 21:06

Please break it off. You deserve better. The right man who will cherish you can’t come along so long as you’re wasting time with losers. I wish when I was younger that older women told me how valuable I am. Don’t throw away your precious time. You are valuable and if he can’t see it then don’t give yourself to him.

Elektra1 · 28/12/2025 20:45

If you haven’t agreed you’re in a relationship, especially given he’s expressly said he isn’t, then you’re not.

puzaru · 28/12/2025 20:44

FWB IMO is friends that do friends things and have sex. There is no blending of families or friends. It can be exclusive or non exclusive depending on those involved. Meetings are arranged to suit both parties. Some weekends away and in some cases holidays too. When not seeing each other, contact is as required but can be friendly banter as well as supportive. After all you are friends.
There are no discussions about marriage or living together, everything financially is 50/50.
If one catches feeling then they openly confess and it usually ends.

EatYourDamnPie · 28/12/2025 20:42

Commitment, feelings , being known as a couple.

DeathStare · 28/12/2025 20:40

For there to be a relationship both parties have to have decided they want a relationship.

Different people will define a relationship differently, particularly in the early stages, but if he's said he doesn't want a relationship then you aren't in one - no matter what it might seem like to you or to anyone else.

FateAmenableToChange · 28/12/2025 20:34

Commitment. He is a having his cake and eating it, while you get crumbs. The worst of all worlds, he gets the girlfriend experience without providing any of the support and commitment.

DurinsBane · 28/12/2025 20:32

DinoLil · 28/12/2025 20:24

As @HeddaGarbled said plus public dates, cinema, meals out, concerts, walks, gym - anything together outside of the bedroom.

Just in the bedroom? FWB.

That’s a F**k buddy. FWB will do things normal friends do, such as meals out, cinema etc, but they will also have sex

Sally2791 · 28/12/2025 20:30

Emotional support

Seasaltchips · 28/12/2025 20:28

FWB there is no commitment, either party free to hook up with someone else. I’d also say you don’t owe the other person anything, for example fine to not phone/message for a fortnight. Wouldn’t consider the other person when making decisions.

Relationship typically would be exclusive (unless you had agreed to an open relationship). Also in a relationship I would see myself as part of a couple so wouldn’t go for a fortnight without getting in touch, and would consider the other person in making decisions etc

DinoLil · 28/12/2025 20:24

As @HeddaGarbled said plus public dates, cinema, meals out, concerts, walks, gym - anything together outside of the bedroom.

Just in the bedroom? FWB.

Missmargo · 28/12/2025 20:24

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HeddaGarbled · 28/12/2025 20:22

Public acknowledgment.