To be sick of people saying "One won't hurt" or "You can have one!" to the designated driver.

I think it’s drunk people think they’re cool and fun, but subconsciously on some level know that drunk people nearly always act like twats.

they push the drink because if everyone else is drinking, hopefully they’ll all believe they’re having a great time, and there’s no one sober to make them realise they’re acting like drunk idiots, not the cool , elegant, witty person the alcohol makes them think they are.

if you get me.

Oh its ridiculous. But then people who have a problem with alcohol hate being around sober people (i know, i used to be one of them - although I would never encourage a driver to drink).

I stopped drinking this year after years of problematic binge drinking and I am getting the 'surely you can just have one' comments - even from my MIL! Most of these people have seen me paralytic and surely know it is much better for me not to drink at all. But it makes them uncomfortable

I always find the response "But I don't want one, and I find you pressuring me to drink really weird" generally does the trick.

If not, then the escalations of "Why are you still going on about this, why is it so important to you that you drink"

And then "And now you're not getting a lift home".

The time I left Granny in the pub with no way home was the last time any of that side of the family pressured me to have a drink.

I had this visiting family this week. ‘Oh go on, just a small one’ or ‘But you like Baileys’ Yeah, but I’m driving and it hits me hard, I’d far rather not when I’m driving. The same person pushing and pushing finally got it yesterday when I picked up from 3 locations and delivered them all home after. ‘Oh Cherrysoup is driving, she won’t be drinking’. Finally! It’s very annoying to be continually asked, not by an older person either, although my dm is a classic for the same thing.

People who urge non drinkers to drink have some negative feelings about their own alcohol use and can think it's ok if everyone does it.

But trying to coerce someone into drinking alcohol when they're driving, that sounds like they don't like the driver and want to cause a whole lot of trouble for them. Or they're ignorant fools who think it's ok to drink and drive and endanger other. Those should have to do ambulance runs to drunk driving wrecks.

You need to find better people to spend time with. I mix with lots of different people and not once have any of them encouraged or even suggested that I have any alcohol when I'm driving!

Strangely enough this happened out to dinner with a friend recently.

She has moved and I don't see her much anymore.
"You can have one... What harm will one do... Etc"

And then I remembered she was the same when I was in my first trimester. She actually got very pushy then but totally Illogical
"Sure look at it this way - most people wouldn't even know they are pregnant at this point (8 weeks) and would be drinking away" eh yes but I DO know.

And strangest of all she is the most committed person to her health and fitness I've ever met. Obsessive in fact.

Weird.

YAANBU if im driving i dont drink at all. I would never risk losing my licence or being the cause of an RTC

I am completely sober by choice. One of my closest friends doesn’t drink as she’s in recovery. I am often her plus one to events (she has been sober many years) as she finds it easy as I will never have a drink.
We went to an event last year and we tend to be quite blunt - I say I’m driving, my friend says she’s an alcoholic in recovery.
And people say to her that as she’s been sober for so long surely one little drink wouldn’t hurt? These are often intelligent people, and she replies well it will most likely kill me, so no thanks.
I have learned so much about alcohol misuse through her. By the way, she’s brilliant company and really confident but booze really is like a social currency at times.
She saw a new GP recently as she’s not sleeping - we are both menopausal. And the doctor, who was much younger, told her to have a little glass of brandy at bedtime.
It says on her notes she’s an alcoholic. She was really, really lost in it for many years.
When she pointed it out, the doctor suggested that as she hadn’t had a drink for so many years she’d probably not a real alcoholic these days, and a little glass of something at bedtime won’t hurt?

Growing up in tne 80s, it seemed the adults had "just one" then hit the pop after that. Now, thank goodness, people in my circle don't have any alcohol at all before driving. There's been a significant shift of culture recently. My DM drove me from my flat and back again on Christmas Day (I don't have a driving licence) and forsook her usual gin cocktail or espresso martini to do so.

The younger adults in our family rarely drink at all, and never drive under the influence of drink (or drugs, for that matter).

@RunMeOver being older with older friends and family no-one I mix with drinks to get hammered either. They drink because they enjoy it, but all know when they have had enough.

I do have one when I'm driving, if I'm going to be at the pub / party / dinner / whatever for a few hours, as all or nearly all of it will be metabolised by the time I leave. It's a nice way to help relax and unwind at the beginning of the evening, and harmless given the non-existent effect on me by the time I drive.

But I totally agree with the OP that there's no reason anyone should pressure anyone else to drink, whether the resistance to that pressure has to do with driving, personal preference or anything else. It just shows a ridiculous lack of boundaries and respect for others' autonomy.

I must admit this is pretty foreign to me now. I mix in circles where most people drink in moderation socially, some still like to get properly hammered now and then, and some are tea-total. Some individuals I've seen move clearly from one of these patterns to another either gradually or suddenly. In all cases, if someone's offered a drink the answer is either "yes" or "no" and that's the end of it. We might still like a drink but we're not fucking teenagers applying peer pressure to see who's worthy of being in our gang.

I find the OP's experience pretty old fashioned - I thought most people had moved on from that now.

I think as adults of a certain age, we tend to know our limits. Some people will have a glass of something or two shandies or whatever they like and feel fine to drive and so long as they remain under the limit, their decision and that’s completely fine. But people do need to understand that not everyone is the same.

I personally wouldn’t so much as turn on the engine if I’d had anything to drink at all but that’s due to having a responsible job and constantly surviving on not much sleep, it’s just not worth the risk for me of even a tiny lapse in concentration leading to an accident. And certainly not ever worth the risk of hurting someone regardless.

It always baffles me why so many people who are drinking alcohol try to persuade others to do the same - why on earth do they care what anyone else drinks?

But especially if they're driving, that's just appalling behavior. My DS is 20, we got him a car at 17, and repeatedly drummed into him that if he's behind the wheel then zero alcohol must be in his blood - and that includes the next day. He's taken it very seriously and refuses to have any at all if he's going to be driving, which is what DH and I do too.

Luckily family completely accept the no drinking and driving but have absolutely no qualms in trying to force feed me treats when I say I'm trying to watch my weight. They will push and push until I have to be firm, then they will act like wounded foals. People are so weird. My dm in particular. I'm starting to think she actually wants me to be fatter than her.

So annoying!!

People were like this when I was pregnant too 🙄

And then when I stopped drinking later in life I’d get comments too.

More friends than family in my case though.

I'm in Australia where the limit is the same as Scotland. In addition, some states double the demerit points for a range of offences over the holiday period - alcohol, using a phone, driving without a seatbelt, speeding.

As for being pestered to drink, I used to think this was mythical as I'd never seen it happen or even heard of it in RL. Until about three years ago when a friend kept going on to me about having a "proper" drink on NYE - I'd had only zero ciders said no but she would not stop. I was driving and so was she!! My assumption was she was off-loading guilt about having a few and then getting behind the wheel.

The next day morning test? yes, they do this too - the Booze Bus parked up where it can't be seen and avoided. Though there are apps for that.

Try asking why it bothers them that you aren’t drinking. That might give them pause for thought.

If they persist maybe follow up by asking if it’s not a misery liking company thing and they actually have a bit of a problem

This.

i don’t drink.

you’d think I’d announced I’m there to spoil the evening, incapable of having any fun and I am judging everyone’s behaviour hard. Measuring them against polite sober society and finding them wanting.

you only have to look at the elaborate ploys pregnant women need to take to avoid drinking. No one just accepts no. There’s got to be a reason.

it’s weird.

I think the limit on England should be the same as Scotland (near zero). Although I do wonder if they ever test many Scots in the morning!

My family barely drink, and DH's family are very sensible about drink driving so it isn't an issue for me, thankfully.

There was a thread yesterday where a bf tried to bully his gf (who had drunk 2 glasses) to drive and pick up his son. She rightly refused.

I dont drive but I would not accept a lift from someone who had a drink. Id prefer to get a taxi.

People who go all Mrs Doyle but with alcohol instead of tea are really really annoying anyway but with drivers it has added infuriating pointlessness. The law aside, either

• one drink will have absolutely no effect on you in which case what's the point, you might well have had water