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Original poster

To feel so lonely

34 replies

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:21

Sorry if this sounds negative, but I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. I’m finding it hard waking up every day feeling low and wishing I had more love and support around me.
Single mum life is hard, and it’s not how I thought things would turn out, I still feel a lot of resentment towards my ex, which I know I need to work through. I also worry that I won’t meet anyone now and end up feeling quite unlovable.
It feels like everyone around me has found their person, and that’s tough to deal with. Has anyone else felt like this?

OP posts:
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Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 21:27

People say I have my kids so I can’t be lonely but honestly they have been awful this holiday, how are people managing with kids that are being honestly terrible? It’s making it worse having no one to share this with I know they’d behave differently for someone else.

OP posts:
SwanNecked · 28/12/2025 19:03

calminggreen · 28/12/2025 18:25

I’ve been divorced a few years now with very young children still (twins were babies when he left) I have the children 100% of the time

I’ve just come back from a family holiday - my siblings are all still married in long marriages and my parents have been married over 40 years.

i definitely feel lonely. I can’t see me dating for years yet and I miss that sense of having a person. In an emergency they’d have to ring my aging parents who live hours away. I miss the shared history of a long marriage/relationship (was with ex h nearly 20 years) and yes I still have feelings of resentment too - no amount of therapy is going to help with that. I miss not being able to share silly things the kids have done And moan about day, miss coming home to someone or watching a boxset when the kids have gone to bed. The loneliness is crippling sometimes x

Of course therapy can help with resentment, or with helping you not let resentment paralyse you.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 19:02

Thank you, yeah friends in relationships don’t really understand and like I said don’t want to burden them with my misery anyway. I have the kids full time so unable to get out or go to anything which doesn’t help.

OP posts:
mahoganynails · 28/12/2025 18:58

I feel much the same as you OP. Another single mum here. Friends who are in relationships forget that I’m home alone almost every night and when kids are with their dad. It’s not the life I thought I’d have.

i have been pushing myself to go to more events, singles events, fitness classes etc… but I do know it isn’t easy.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 18:55

Meadowfinch · 28/12/2025 18:43

I'm a single mum too OP. No backup. It can feel isolating sometimes but on the whole I am happier than I was before.

I'm careful to focus on having some fun, building a little social life when I have the chance, but always on my rules now.

Swapping babysitting with other mums you trust can buy you a little personal time.

Thank you the mums I know have family so they don’t require babysitting favours

OP posts:
Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 18:54

calminggreen · 28/12/2025 18:25

I’ve been divorced a few years now with very young children still (twins were babies when he left) I have the children 100% of the time

I’ve just come back from a family holiday - my siblings are all still married in long marriages and my parents have been married over 40 years.

i definitely feel lonely. I can’t see me dating for years yet and I miss that sense of having a person. In an emergency they’d have to ring my aging parents who live hours away. I miss the shared history of a long marriage/relationship (was with ex h nearly 20 years) and yes I still have feelings of resentment too - no amount of therapy is going to help with that. I miss not being able to share silly things the kids have done And moan about day, miss coming home to someone or watching a boxset when the kids have gone to bed. The loneliness is crippling sometimes x

Thank you this is exactly how I feel, I think the resentment will always be there. I can’t meet anyone and I feel sad that my life isn’t how I wanted or expected it to be.

OP posts:
Meadowfinch · 28/12/2025 18:43

I'm a single mum too OP. No backup. It can feel isolating sometimes but on the whole I am happier than I was before.

I'm careful to focus on having some fun, building a little social life when I have the chance, but always on my rules now.

Swapping babysitting with other mums you trust can buy you a little personal time.

calminggreen · 28/12/2025 18:25

I’ve been divorced a few years now with very young children still (twins were babies when he left) I have the children 100% of the time

I’ve just come back from a family holiday - my siblings are all still married in long marriages and my parents have been married over 40 years.

i definitely feel lonely. I can’t see me dating for years yet and I miss that sense of having a person. In an emergency they’d have to ring my aging parents who live hours away. I miss the shared history of a long marriage/relationship (was with ex h nearly 20 years) and yes I still have feelings of resentment too - no amount of therapy is going to help with that. I miss not being able to share silly things the kids have done And moan about day, miss coming home to someone or watching a boxset when the kids have gone to bed. The loneliness is crippling sometimes x

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 18:13

Yes I use chat GPT for that as I can’t afford private therapy.

OP posts:
SwanNecked · 28/12/2025 17:42

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 17:37

Sorry No I’m not i can’t see where I’ve said that? I said I no longer speak to them about it as I know it can be difficult for others to hear the same things over and over, i did in the early days as that would be normal of course but I don’t want to burden people with it anymore so it’s not something I do now.

No, you didn’t say that. But you said ‘it can be draining listening to the same thing over and over’. Which is why I suggested you find the money and make time for therapy, where you don’t need to worry about ‘burdening’ someone with negativity. It’s really helpful to have a weekly safe space for that, and it frees up headspace for other things.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 17:37

Sorry No I’m not i can’t see where I’ve said that? I said I no longer speak to them about it as I know it can be difficult for others to hear the same things over and over, i did in the early days as that would be normal of course but I don’t want to burden people with it anymore so it’s not something I do now.

OP posts:
SwanNecked · 28/12/2025 17:34

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 17:30

honestly I probably would actually it can be draining sometimes listening to the same thing over and over again. Even friends and family have their limits, most people ime want to hear positive and happy things.

But are you regularly trauma-dumping on your friends about the same thing?

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 17:30

honestly I probably would actually it can be draining sometimes listening to the same thing over and over again. Even friends and family have their limits, most people ime want to hear positive and happy things.

OP posts:
Catza · 28/12/2025 17:25

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 16:36

I don’t want to burden people, they all have families and are loved up they don’t want to hear my negativity.

I am going to challenge that gently. If a friend came to you for a shoulder to cry on, would you think "oh god, not them again with all their negativity!". I bet not. So why do you think people aren't willing to support you?
Obviously, you don't want to keep going on and on for months on end. But to talk to someone is perfectly fine and most people will be all too willing to help.
Besides, spending time with people doesn't necessarily mean always talking about problems. I am sure there is plenty of value you bring to a friendship.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 16:54

I’ve been using chat GPT which has been helpful

OP posts:
SwanNecked · 28/12/2025 16:52

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 16:36

I don’t want to burden people, they all have families and are loved up they don’t want to hear my negativity.

So find an appropriate place to explore your negative beliefs about yourself. Even if you have to cut back elsewhere, find the money and time for therapy with someone good, and really work at it. That will give you a safe place to trauma dump and work on yourself.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 16:36

I don’t want to burden people, they all have families and are loved up they don’t want to hear my negativity.

OP posts:
Catza · 28/12/2025 15:43

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:39

Thank you but its not a recent break up sorry if it sounded that way.

Show quote history

Timing doesn't really matter. The strategy is still the same - get out, lean on people around you, set up a routine which nourishes your soul, build your confidence with new experiences and activities...

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 15:40

I’m not actively able to date I have my children full time so that would be impossible anyway.

OP posts:
SBGM247 · 28/12/2025 15:07

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:46

I have never looked, i have been single for years. Ive never been on any dating apps or anything like that.

Show quote history

@AngelWingsS what do you think needs to change to change the outcome? Agreed, dating sites are full of reprobates.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:46

SBGM247 · 28/12/2025 13:45

Sending you love @AngelWingsS. You'll find someone when you're not looking. I'm wishing you beautiful abundance. I'm praying for your gains. Don't worry. Be choosy. When it comes to Men, my advice is if a Man's mind is right his world will be right. Spot the red flags early. People will tell you who they are. Believe them. 2026 is going to be your year! I'm celebrating for you already.

Show quote history

I have never looked, i have been single for years. Ive never been on any dating apps or anything like that.

OP posts:
SBGM247 · 28/12/2025 13:45

AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:21

Sorry if this sounds negative, but I’ve been feeling really lonely lately. I’m finding it hard waking up every day feeling low and wishing I had more love and support around me.
Single mum life is hard, and it’s not how I thought things would turn out, I still feel a lot of resentment towards my ex, which I know I need to work through. I also worry that I won’t meet anyone now and end up feeling quite unlovable.
It feels like everyone around me has found their person, and that’s tough to deal with. Has anyone else felt like this?

Sending you love @AngelWingsS. You'll find someone when you're not looking. I'm wishing you beautiful abundance. I'm praying for your gains. Don't worry. Be choosy. When it comes to Men, my advice is if a Man's mind is right his world will be right. Spot the red flags early. People will tell you who they are. Believe them. 2026 is going to be your year! I'm celebrating for you already.

Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:39

Catza · 28/12/2025 13:37

When I separated from my partner, I certainly felt like I will never meet someone again. Well, that turned out not to be true but that's another story.

What helped me massively in the initial stages was to get out of the house as much as possible. I basically had something organised every day for about three months before I was actually able to stay home for the evening and not go crazy. I looked for social hobbies and my thing is sports so I signed up to a local CrossFit gym (great activity to meet some people, even if you have never held a barbell in your hands before) and pole class (amazing for self-confidence and a lovely girly support network).
I also set up a weekly video chat with my best friend. We couldn't meet regularly but we could join each other virtually on Monday nights and have a glass of wine and a chat after kids were in bed.

You need people around you.

Edited

Thank you but its not a recent break up sorry if it sounded that way.

OP posts:
Original poster
AngelWingsS · 28/12/2025 13:38

SwanNecked · 28/12/2025 13:36

There have been about twenty posts saying identical things to yours over the last week alone, OP.

Show quote history

Ok well i apologise for not seeing them, ive only seen a thread about how great it is to be single .

OP posts:
brownbearbrownbear123 · 28/12/2025 13:38

Hi op. I’m not a single mum but I share your feelings of loneliness. I have a very loving partner but other than that I don’t have any friends or close family apart from my mum. It feels extremely isolating. I have autism so struggle to maintain friendships but when you’re an adult it’s so hard to get yourself out there to meet new people I find. You’re definitely not alone

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