Daughter chooses "in laws" over her own family

Instead of being worried that your DD is trapped in an abusive relationship, you're upset that she won't play board games with you? 😬

No thoughtful presents for her own family.

Are you seriously saying that your DD is in a controlling relationship with a bully who is racist and possibly abusive but care that she didn’t get you any thoughtful presents or play a board game with you??

I hope this isn’t real because if you think not playing a board game or not getting thoughtful presents even comes close to being important things here, then I can understand why DD would not want to spend time with you.

Tread very very carefully don't say anything negative , love bomb herefc

You're jealous about your dd getting in with her boyfriends mum, when she is clearly in an abusive relationship, if all you say is true.

She probably retreated when she was at your home because she felt safe there, and able to do that, she clearly can't with her boyfriend.

Make sure you keep the lines of communication open, try and visit more often, make sure she knows you're there for her.

She told me he doesn't like her wearing short skirts or going out with any friends. He disapproves of her drinking alcohol and asked her to leave his flat once when she laughed about smoking a joint once to celebrate end of school. He is racist and homophobic, he hates smokers

After hearing all that did you ask what she sees in him?

I don't think the issue is her closeness with his mum, it's why is she with a racist, sexist homophobe? That's revolting - what on earth does she see in him? My parents would be so disappointed if I chose to date someone like that because they've bought me up much better than that.

You're not loosing your daughter.

Kids/young adults float in and out of family life at this age. It's not personal, they are just trying to find their own path, their own groove.

She may well have felt pressured into buying the other mum something, but feels comfortable and unpressured with you

Just make sure she knows she is always always loved and welcome and that your door is always open to her, and your home is welcoming and feels like her home.

She will come back to you, I promise. And there will be more times for thoughtful gifts once she grows up a little and realises how important you are to her. They'll mean more too, because they won't be obligation gifts.

Yes I'd be very upset.
I don't know how but can you go down there and try and meet the mum ? It does sound very odd

Can you afford to offer to take them out ?

You seem far less concerned by your daughter possibly being in an abusive or controlling relationship than you are by her voluntarily spending time with her boyfriend’s mother…?

Do you think he is controlling her, telling her what gifts to get his DM compared to you?

Has she changed completely since being with him? What gifts did she used to give you?

I would be worried that she's in an abusive relationship, and concerned for her. It wouldn't be anything to do with my personal feelings, just her safety. Do you think he's controlling her?

You seem shitty about his family but your daughter does not come over well either if she is fine dating a man with views like this