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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should I LTB?

55 replies

Gottobebannee · 28/12/2025 07:44

DP and I have been together 18 months. Both mid 40s. We live in a town at least an hours drive from a motorway.

We've done a few long distance drives in the UK. We've each both driven these distances in our own cars.

On the motorway, I use lanes 2 and 3 to overtake, else I'm in lane 1.

He is a lane 2 driver 😩

As well as being unsafe, he's got a 1 litre engine, so it's not as if he keeps up with traffic. Fastest he drove on our 4 hour journey yesterday was 65mph.

Yesterday I raised it with him for the first time, as we're now at the point in our relationship where I feel I can. He said he feels safest being in the middle lane as you don't get stuck between all the unsafe lorry drivers in lane 1. As we were driving to our holiday destination, I didn't want to push the matter and start our NY break on the wrong tone.

This man is wonderful in every way possible. But I'm lying here next to him thinking how to best address this flaw!

Any tips MN?

YABU- talk to him again
YANBU - LTB right here, right now

OP posts:
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ImogenBrocklehurst · 28/12/2025 19:43

Owly11 · 28/12/2025 07:47

Stupid thread. He gets to drive how he drives. You can't 'address this flaw' aka trying to change him. If you want to end a relationship over this then go ahead.

No, your comment is stupid. He’s driving dangerously and illegally?

Femalemachinest · 28/12/2025 19:41

A 1litre engine isnt the reason, not sure why you think it would be. Ive never driven a big car and have no issues driving/getting to the speed limit on a motorway. .. its just how he drives.

creamcakesintherain · 28/12/2025 19:22

Get him a proper motorway driving lesson !! Driving like that is dangerous. I just asked my husband who is a driving instructor, he says that middle lane hogging drivers can be pulled over and be prosecuted for driving without due care and attention,with a minimum of £100 fine and 3 points on his licence, and a driver re education course.

ZoggyStirdust · 28/12/2025 19:13

HelmholtzWatson · 28/12/2025 07:54

You're dating a man with a 1 litre car?

i know! How small

we all know the size of a man’s engine equates to his manliness

GeorgeClooneyshouldhavemarriedme · 28/12/2025 19:05

Middle lane hoggers are incredibly selfish.
Not to mention dangerous.
They stay where they "feel safe" because they don't like overtaking, forcing the rest of us into the fast lane to overtake them. What makes these feeble-minded incompetent drivers think that they are the only ones on the feckin road????
I cannot with these people.
LTB

CraftyPlayer · 28/12/2025 19:05

The car doesn’t bother me but he shouldn’t be hogging the middle lane!

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 28/12/2025 19:00

JohnofWessex · 28/12/2025 18:35

The Highway Code also advises against excessive lane changing so while I do 'keep left' I wont constantly change between lanes 1 & 2 either

Can you say which rule you are referring to? There is Rule 268, which includes "Do not weave in and out of lanes to overtake." One persons weaving in and out is another person's safe overtaking, of course but perhaps I'm missing the rule you're meaning?

JohnofWessex · 28/12/2025 18:35

The Highway Code also advises against excessive lane changing so while I do 'keep left' I wont constantly change between lanes 1 & 2 either

Imlyingandthatsthetruth · 28/12/2025 18:24

This suggests a huge lack of driving confidence and understanding. I see he's also been done for speeding. Bet he's got a load of crap excuses about why what he does is "right".

Owly11 · 28/12/2025 17:45

BotterMon · 28/12/2025 17:17

Oh dear - do you lack a sense of humour?

OP it would drive me mad. Nothing worse than a middle lane hogger. Issue is that for some stupid reason the UK don't include motorway driving in their lessons or test. If they did, we'd have people driving properly on motorways and would most likely result in less accidents.

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No, i don't lack a sense of humour but it seems that you do. You find the middle lane driving annoying. I also find it annoying, but I find self righteous people who think they are better than their partners and want to change them even more annoying.

justanotherchangeofname · 28/12/2025 17:17

HelmholtzWatson · 28/12/2025 07:54

You're dating a man with a 1 litre car?

😂😂

BotterMon · 28/12/2025 17:17

Owly11 · 28/12/2025 16:52

It isn't me who drives in the middle lane it's op's bf ffs. And it isn't op's responsibility to change his driving nor is it within her power. If she wants to leave him, fine. If she wants to change him, not fine.

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Oh dear - do you lack a sense of humour?

OP it would drive me mad. Nothing worse than a middle lane hogger. Issue is that for some stupid reason the UK don't include motorway driving in their lessons or test. If they did, we'd have people driving properly on motorways and would most likely result in less accidents.

DyslexicPoster · 28/12/2025 17:11

HelmholtzWatson · 28/12/2025 07:54

You're dating a man with a 1 litre car?

Dh has got a one litre car, Focus. It goes faster than my 1.8.

If I want a powerful car, I buy one. Don't need a man to drive me about or buy it. Also, there's the fuel consumption aspect. Nothing sexy about pouring endless cash into the car.

I wouldn't leave a otherwise nice bloke over the way he drives. I just wouldn't be a passenger on the motorway. It's extremely dangerous and encourages dangerous driving like undertaking.

MissyMooPoo2 · 28/12/2025 17:07

Gottobebannee · 28/12/2025 08:03

I actually find it refreshing!

It's a real money saver (which I find attractive), not a penis extension and he doesn't give a fuck what people think of his choice of vehicle as it gets him from a to b.

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Slowly, in the middle lane 😂

Pearlstillsinging · 28/12/2025 17:03

We often see "Don't hog the middle lane" signs on the m'way. What does he do when those are up on the matrix?

Bc87 · 28/12/2025 16:59

HelmholtzWatson · 28/12/2025 07:54

You're dating a man with a 1 litre car?

I hope this is sarcasm.

Either way, I know there are people out there who truly think like that and get upset when their very questionable dating criteria don't land them with good men.

lemonraspberry · 28/12/2025 16:56

not ideal but hardly a dumpable offence. I prefer this to aggressive driving, road rage & red light jumping.

TwistedWonder · 28/12/2025 16:54

Rosealea · 28/12/2025 07:50

Nothing worse than a middle lane hogger. Get out while you still can!

Agree. Middle lane hoggers absolutely boil my piss

All jokes aside I don’t think I could date a man who thought it was the proper way to drive - it would annoy me too much

Owly11 · 28/12/2025 16:52

HoskinsChoice · 28/12/2025 16:21

I really hope you're not a driver.

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It isn't me who drives in the middle lane it's op's bf ffs. And it isn't op's responsibility to change his driving nor is it within her power. If she wants to leave him, fine. If she wants to change him, not fine.

HoskinsChoice · 28/12/2025 16:21

Owly11 · 28/12/2025 07:47

Stupid thread. He gets to drive how he drives. You can't 'address this flaw' aka trying to change him. If you want to end a relationship over this then go ahead.

I really hope you're not a driver.

Davros · 28/12/2025 14:02

My sister knows a couple who met on a speed awareness course Grin

Original poster
Gottobebannee · 28/12/2025 13:32

EBearhug · 28/12/2025 10:27

The motorway awareness was different from the speed awareness I'd done 10 years previously, but probably you need to be caught on a motorway for that. They were both good though, and in Hampshire at least, thry seem to be run by ex traffic cops, so they'd definitely know about motorways too.

I suspect your challenge will be to get him to ask them about it.

My thinking was it will be a good way into the conversation with him.

OP posts:
Davros · 28/12/2025 11:01

BackToLurk · 28/12/2025 10:31

Obviously LTB. And torch his car

😹
I’ve got a car with a small engine and, as others say, it can get to 70mph and a good bit over but it takes its time to get there. I use cruise control a lot now due to stricter enforcement of speed limits

Stompythedinosaur · 28/12/2025 10:47

It's illegal and unsafe.

I think I'd get the ick from someone being so dense tbh!

LoveSandbanks · 28/12/2025 10:37

I can only imagine the congestion and frustration behind him.

We live a mile away from the nearest motorway and use it often. People who don’t know how to drive on the motorway drive me mad. They’re dangerous.

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