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AIBU?

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Original poster

When to take the tree and decor down?

66 replies

EvAdA · 27/12/2025 23:04

DP and I moved in together this year and we have reached our first major disagreement. We put the decor and tree up around the start of December, earlier than he would have liked admittedly. We are done hosting for anything Christmas or New Year related. On Monday we go skiing then to his family for a few days and won't be home again until the 7th. I have work to do on the afternoon of the 7th and all day on the 8th, he is self employed so more flexible.
He believes decor shouldn't come down until after the 6th (epiphany) and we can either do it on the 7th or on the weekend after. I think as we are done hosting and won't even be here we should take them down tomorrow, do a nice deep clean and come back to a fresh home ready to enjoy the New Year. He claims that is fighting his culture and we should leave them up, he put them up early for me etc.

AIBU to want them down before we go?

OP posts:
Fontet · 28/12/2025 01:04

Xmas day if i could!

caffelattetogo · 28/12/2025 00:34

Absolutely - 12 days here. I can never understand why people say the house can’t be cleaned with decorations up. If so, why put them up so early?

FridayFriesDay · 28/12/2025 00:04

I love Christmas but I took mine down yesterday. But I agree with previous posters, he compromised for you and you should want to do the same for him.

Also, if it’s important to him as part of his culture/traditions, then you should understand this matters to him.

DappledThings · 28/12/2025 00:02

I'd never take them down before Epiphany.

ChocolateCinderToffee · 27/12/2025 23:56

pinkpony88 · 27/12/2025 23:29

I took mine down today! It’s the only day I have free before we go away on the 8th.

Goodness, how long did it take? Mine will be removed and put away in 20 minutes, on the evening of 5 January.

Gamerlady · 27/12/2025 23:39

Im with your husband, there are 12 days of Christmas. He compromised for you so you can compromise for him. I dont understand why people can't wait to take them down, its still Christmas. Its sad to see traditions dying out.

pinkpony88 · 27/12/2025 23:29

I took mine down today! It’s the only day I have free before we go away on the 8th.

MCF86 · 27/12/2025 23:21

Taweofterror · 27/12/2025 23:07

Whilst I would prefer to.get them down early in your situation, he's right. He compromised on when to put them up, it's your turn to compromise now. And if he's a Christian and observes the 12th night /epiphany stuff then you should respect that

I completely agree with this. It sounds like he has valid reasons to want to keep it up, while OP just "wanted" to put them up that early.

As much as my preference would be the same as yours OP, I'd suck it up if it was important to someone I love.

falalalalalalalallama · 27/12/2025 23:19

Taweofterror · 27/12/2025 23:07

Whilst I would prefer to.get them down early in your situation, he's right. He compromised on when to put them up, it's your turn to compromise now. And if he's a Christian and observes the 12th night /epiphany stuff then you should respect that

This. He compromised for you, it's your turn now to compromise for him.

EsmeSusanOgg · 27/12/2025 23:19

EvAdA · 27/12/2025 23:11

DP is Italian, he says that in Italy or atleast his area very few would take them down before Epiphany which is celebrated in its own right and is a national holiday.

Show quote history

Well then. It stays up until after Epiphany then. It's not an unreasonable compromise.

Cheeringmeup · 27/12/2025 23:19

I don't think I'd like to come home to a fully decorated tree/house on the 7th, so I'd take things down before you go away. Maybe leave a token nice decoration up in respect to his beliefs, maybe your door wreath or something?

FerrisWheelsandLilacs · 27/12/2025 23:14

I find it so weird that people rush to put their tree up, only to rush to take it down again. Surely now is the bit where you want to feel all Christmassy and have twinkly lights up while you’re around the house to enjoy them.

We get a real tree, so it only goes up the 2nd or 3rd weekend of December and will come down on 7th Jan, the day before the local charity collection of real trees.

Original poster
EvAdA · 27/12/2025 23:11

EsmeSusanOgg · 27/12/2025 23:09

Epiphany is 6th Jan, but decor usually comes down evening before.

DP is Italian, he says that in Italy or atleast his area very few would take them down before Epiphany which is celebrated in its own right and is a national holiday.

OP posts:
EsmeSusanOgg · 27/12/2025 23:09

Epiphany is 6th Jan, but decor usually comes down evening before.

EsmeSusanOgg · 27/12/2025 23:08

Twelfth night. 5th January.

Taweofterror · 27/12/2025 23:07

Whilst I would prefer to.get them down early in your situation, he's right. He compromised on when to put them up, it's your turn to compromise now. And if he's a Christian and observes the 12th night /epiphany stuff then you should respect that