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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To want a card that says ‘mummy’

120 replies

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:34

I’m aware this might be extremely precious and if it is then I’d like to be told as much.

Last Christmas, DH got me a card that said ‘happy Christmas mum’ on the front. I told him at the time that, with DCs 2 and 4 at that stage, I’d have liked a ‘mummy’ card. I’m aware they won’t call me mummy forever and I wanted a ‘mummy’ card - I hopefully will have many years of being ‘mum’ but very few where I’m mummy.

Roll on to my birthday in the Spring and I got a ‘mum birthday’ card. It wasn’t a falling out but I reminded him, for the small window I’m ‘mummy’ I’d like a card that says mummy on it not a card one would get their elderly mum.

Roll around Christmas and my card from the kids says ‘to a lovely mum’

AIBU to be a bit upset? We don’t have money for presents this year and I didn’t want anything that cost, but a card saying ‘mum’ on the front feels a bit tone deaf after what I’ve said.

Eldest won’t call me mummy for much longer and it made me sad. I know many have bigger crosses to bear but still

OP posts:
ImthatBoleyngirl · 27/12/2025 23:02

If it makes you feel any better, my 14 year old still calls me Mummy / Mumma.

Grumblies · 27/12/2025 23:00

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:58

I’d love that! But we’re both working parents and I totally get it buying one is easier that’s fine <looks at all the dinners I’ve made in 2025>

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I think saying you're working parents so don't have the time is the wrong approach. For things like this surely you make time because it's something important for your children. It really doesn't take long to get some pens and paper out and make a card. Do you help the children make him cards?

Laura95167 · 27/12/2025 23:00

I think on the surface it may sound precious.

But.. its not an unreasonable or expensive request. Its not something you expected him to be claryoiant about, you said id like you to pick a card for our kids that reflects who I am to them.

Most importantly, its a big deal to you and a little one to him (when hes buying a card anyway), and he loves you so there isnt a reason to not do this.

QPZM · 27/12/2025 23:00

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:58

I’d love that! But we’re both working parents and I totally get it buying one is easier that’s fine <looks at all the dinners I’ve made in 2025>

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Working parents can find 15 to 20 minutes once or twice a year to make a card for a special occasion.

It's a good thing to teach the kids too about effort etc.

Perhaps going forward you could both start to do this.

ThatMintMember · 27/12/2025 22:59

I don't think you are being unreasonable. I have a 3 year old and my husband has occasionally called me 'mam' instead of 'mammy'. I just tell him that's not my name, I'm mammy. It matters because it's like calling you the wrong name! It also irritates me when nursery or family call me 'mummy' by accident, also not my name!

Original poster
Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:58

QPZM · 27/12/2025 22:56

But surely you'd rather your DH sat down with them and helped them make a card?

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I’d love that! But we’re both working parents and I totally get it buying one is easier that’s fine <looks at all the dinners I’ve made in 2025>

OP posts:
Original poster
Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:57

Kibble19 · 27/12/2025 22:55

I think that’s fair enough - mummy cards aren’t exactly hard to come by. Your issue is that he’s not bothering to listen to you.

As an aside, adults calling their mum “mummy” is making me turn inside out with cringe.

Oh I totally agree! It’s one of the reasons I want to make the most of the tiny window I have with 3yo and 5yo

OP posts:
QPZM · 27/12/2025 22:56

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:52

Oh god I’m not an insta mum! I mean it for me - my mum still has a treasure trove of little notes.

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But surely you'd rather your DH sat down with them and helped them make a card?

Original poster
Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:56

Rainallnight · 27/12/2025 22:39

Sorry, but I think it’s very precious indeed. How is he otherwise, as a partner and father?

He’s otherwise a fantastic partner. 50/50, up with the kids at 4am today. Can’t fault him. (I do the same!). Just a bit gutted that I don’t have a card for this tiny sliver of life where I’m not some knitting nanna, especially since we can’t afford presents.

OP posts:
Kibble19 · 27/12/2025 22:55

I think that’s fair enough - mummy cards aren’t exactly hard to come by. Your issue is that he’s not bothering to listen to you.

As an aside, adults calling their mum “mummy” is making me turn inside out with cringe.

TheWildZebra · 27/12/2025 22:55

My mother has insisted on being called Mummy all the way through. I’m now in my mid 30s and it makes me cringe so much. Most of the time I call her by her first name or another nickname that isn’t mum-related to avoid the awful feeling of feeling like I’m 5 years old or one of the royal family

AnneShirleysNewDress · 27/12/2025 22:54

YANBU. You’ve asked for something small and he should make the effort to do it. @ManyATrueWord is spot on.

nomas · 27/12/2025 22:53

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:52

Oh god I’m not an insta mum! I mean it for me - my mum still has a treasure trove of little notes.

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Fair enough in that case.

A quick Google brought up a plethora of mummy cards so he could have done it easily.

Original poster
Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:52

nomas · 27/12/2025 22:44

Is it so you can post it on social media? Surely you just buy the card yourself?

Oh god I’m not an insta mum! I mean it for me - my mum still has a treasure trove of little notes.

OP posts:
namechangetheworld · 27/12/2025 22:52

I feel for you OP. I'm not precious about these things at all but was very (vocally) upset when my DH did this - my very first Christmas card from DD1 said 'Mum' on the front and I was gutted. She was five months old and I was SO looking forward to opening a Mummy card for the first time. (I had secretly been hoping for a Mummy card when she was first born, but it never materialised, so I had all my hopes set on Christmas...!) He's never made that mistake again, ten years and another child down the line...

10 year old still calls me Mummy, so hopefully you have a while left OP.

fashionqueen0123 · 27/12/2025 22:52

Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:49

Oh this makes me happy! I’m worried my ‘mummy’ time is limited but fingers crossed crossed eldest will still be on board at that point…

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Get the kids to make cards! My eldest is 11 and calls me mum but mummy lasted ages :)

nomas · 27/12/2025 22:51

gogomomo2 · 27/12/2025 22:49

My dh refers to his mum as mummy, doesn’t have to have a shelf life (he’s retired, she’s passed away!) my dc (adults) call me mama

If it’s good enough for King Charles. I believe he called the late Queen mummy, even as a septuagenarian.

DeliciouslyBaked · 27/12/2025 22:50

I feel exactly the same way, OP. What i will say is in our local shops, there was a distinct lack of Mummy or Daddy cards this year, in favour of just Mum or Dad. I usually ask my eldest DD (4.5y) to choose the card for DH and even she turned her nose up at them all.

Original poster
Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:49

BendingSpoons · 27/12/2025 22:46

I am still 'mummy' to my 10yo at home, so it can last longer!

It's a little thing, but it shows he is not listening and remembering. Did he mention it e.g. 'there were no mummy cards' or just forget? Home made cards are the way to go! Or even go on Moonpig or similar.

Oh this makes me happy! I’m worried my ‘mummy’ time is limited but fingers crossed crossed eldest will still be on board at that point…

OP posts:
Trench1 · 27/12/2025 22:49

Try living in an area where Mommy is the norm. It’s almost impossible to get a card with that on. Mum or mummy just sounds weird if you live in a Mommy area!

gogomomo2 · 27/12/2025 22:49

My dh refers to his mum as mummy, doesn’t have to have a shelf life (he’s retired, she’s passed away!) my dc (adults) call me mama

Original poster
Cheepcheepcheep · 27/12/2025 22:48

Girliefriendlikespuppies · 27/12/2025 22:42

I think you need to get a grip.

Seriously.

Entirely fair!

I’m not going to divorce him or anything mad.

Just asking if it’s completely unreasonable to ask if I want to be ‘mummy’ for the tiny window of time I am mummy.

OP posts:
CharlotteFlax · 27/12/2025 22:48

You've asked him several times now and you can definitely get 'mummy' cards in the shops, so I'm not holding with the excuse that there's more 'mum' cards available. It's just a little bit of effort on his part that makes a big difference for you. YANBU.

Newsenmum · 27/12/2025 22:48

Before your next birthday/event and mothers day tell him again RIGHT before he buys it! Even send a link! It’s annoying he wont just do it.

YellowCherry · 27/12/2025 22:47

I think you are overreacting OP. Chill out and enjoy your card.