To refuse to drive even though I MAY be under limit?

This would be a major red flag for me. His concern for your safety should be instinctive / reflexive. Where is that instinct here? I don’t think it can be learned either… really sorry OP. You need someone who is going to look out for you and this is at best really poor judgment, at worst a lack of care for your safety

i think it should be zero now like scotland then we wouldnt have all this ive only had one or two bollocks

Around 10 minutes ago his adult son phoned him for a lift. Clearly he couldn’t do this

If your boyfriend (hopefully now an ex) can't drive, why is both he and his son relying on a woman to taxi them?

That's definitely not a good idea! If, by some chance, the police go by and find her asleep in the car with her car keys on her, she could still be charged if she happened to be over the limit. They would say she was drunk in charge of a vehicle.

Did I say they did? Or did I just state how things work given some of the OTT reactions in here? Maybe everyone’s had a drink and it’s impacted their reactions 🤣

I was simply reading the other over reactions about “drink driving” (that wouldn’t actually be drink driving) and felt some perspective was needed.

I stated only facts, not opinion:

• process approx 1 unit per hour, so time is relevant
• food will reduce speed of absorption into blood

Also confirmed it’s totally up to the individual, but it’s ludicrous to think one sip of a drink will impair you, or that if you had one drink three hours ago that it would still be affecting you. Not sure why it upsets you so much to hear that? A friend was once sat drinking red wine in a camping trip, had been drinking a while, did a breath test out of interest and was still under the limit (no, he didn’t drive or plan to, it was just a test). So as far as OP losing her licence goes (which people seemed to focus on), probably unlikely. But still totally her choice, regardless of the drink factor tbh.

So yeah, none of that is opinion I’m afraid (expect thinking some comments are ridic). Just information that you don’t like.

I agree, godspeed you OP.

How did his son think his dad could pick him up anyway? They sound like a bunch of idiots. I work in emergency services. I’ve seen what happens when someone drinks and drives. Well done on standing your ground. Hopefully this is the last time you see that man.

No worries.

The drinking and driving is a red herring here. Your DP’s behaviour is absolutely horrible…he is shouting at you and bullying you to the point of you feeling scared and unsafe. This really isn’t normal. Please tell us when you are able to get out of there. It’s good that you have at least seen him for who he really is and can kick him to the kerb once you are safely out of there.

The bug misconception/misinformation on this thread is talking about "one or two drinks".
The issue is how many UNITS you've had.
Eg a 25ml measure of a spirit tends to be one unit. However a freehand measure is more likely to be three units.
Similarly, a small glass of wine at home is likely to be 2 units, and a large glass 3 or 4.

Why can't he taxi to his mums house even if she's out? Or taxi to here she's out to. Or bus somewhere closer to his mom's area and then try for a taxi
So he just went out with no plan even though he knew his mum was going out tonight and his dad isn't allowed to drive at the mo? Presumably he just thought his dad's health issues not that big a deal

Perhaps you could get son to move the car and then later on tonight or early next morning if you and him are up you could get him to drop you to collect it and drive it back. You'd be more than sober enough in a few hrs after a meal and deffo by the morning

I stand corrected and apologise
I live on the boarder, you can get an uber to flint/ mold/ Wrexham etc but not back to England

Well done for standing your ground, and for the escape plan. What a tool he is.

You just aren't getting it are you? Your 'facts' in no way diminish the reality that any amount of alcohol affect reactions, judgement and response times

@DidntwenearlyhaveitallI am really proud of you and I hope you feel proud of yourself! You've problem solved your way right out of this awful situation, making sure everyone , not just yourself, are safe!

I hope you're able to sleep well when you get home. I'd suggest muting your mobile and your home phone for tonight as I suspect he may send lots of messages and continue his bullying.

Well done though. This was a hard situation and you've shown what strength, and decent values you hold!

I just wanted to add to the voices of support - you are making the right choice in getting out of there and please let us all know when you are safely away. Hugs.

I’d not be driving if I was in your situation.

It’s not just the legal limit it’s how you feel after a drink.
If I had a half at lunchtime I’d be under the limit but not feel 100% safe driving - a bit slower, a bit more relaxed - not drunk but affected.

I think you’ve been pushed into an unfortunate situation. Hope your son is there soon for you.

What a complete twat! Totally unreasonable. So glad your son is coming for you and that you’ve managed to get your stuff outside ready. Let us know when you are safe.

Tell us when you’re in the car with your ds.

Neither is your opinion. You seem at some pains to point out ways in which people can drink and drive safely - relying on their own judgement. I wonder why?

OP well done on the way you handled this. Well done to your son coming to get you. Well done on losing this guy.

If 'mum' to 25yr old son is out, how is she getting home, why can't she go and collect him?

Please make sure his keys remain hidden. Have you got much stuff to exit with? Could you 'check' you've shut the windows in your car and discretely put some things in the boot so you can make a faster getaway in your son's car?

This man needs to learn that no means no!

100% true.