To refuse to drive even though I MAY be under limit?

Once you've got your son's car back safely, I'd send a quick text to xh to let him know where the keys are, but then a follow up call to the non emergency police with the number plate of his car with just a concern that he may drive whilst not legally able to. More out of the concern for others safety. Any risk is best shared for your own peace of mind.
Be kind to yourself OP, your children have obviously had the best upbringing.

It’s quite funny he couldn’t find anyone to get his son and yet you got your son to collect you so quickly! 🤣

It must have stung him even more!

Don't go back to him EVER!

What a twat he sounds like a massive cheapskate avoiding taxi fairs at your expense

Glad you got out safely. Good to get the truth now before you waste too much time on a loser.

He sounds like a v quick on the draw type. Normal people wouldn’t be arsing about noticing they were blocked and creating dummy Facebook accounts to message so quickly, if they had a drama with their kid to resolve.

Sounds like a psycho.

Wow @Didntwenearlyhaveitall you did brilliantly last night. And your children are amazing.

At nine months in this should still be the honeymoon period, but he really showed you who he is.

As others have said, even without the alcohol, it was so presumptuous to expect you to do hours of driving on a winter’s night for his adult son.

His swift escalation to verbal abuse tells you everything you need to know about this creep.

Wishing you a blissful New Year!

Jesus, RTFT some people! The OP is thankfully home safely and dumped the twat!!!

Just reading this. Your son is fab.
You are well rid.

At least read the OP's updates, even if you can't be bothered to read the thread. THERE ARE NO TAXIS. THAT IS THE WHOLE POINT!

I agree with this!

Id be on the coffee now Incase I had to make an emergency get away later . He sounds like a wrong one @Didntwenearlyhaveitall

Well done for sticking to your guns @OP

As an aside, some posters have evidently never lived anywhere there are no Ubers or any other kind of taxi.

I agree with you, I never drive even after half a glass, tell him to pay for a taxi for his son if he’s so bothered.

So relieved you were able to find a solution to get yourself safely out of that dangerous situation. And at least he showed his true colours and became an ex before you wasted any further time with him. Wishing you a peaceful rest of the festive season, and congratulations on having raised a responsible young man!

I'm glad you're safe, OP, and sorry it ended this way. I can't believe the escalation over a silly request, though! His son knew his dad couldn't drive, yet called him for a lift anyway? He's 25 - why couldn't he figure something out on his own? If there's no transport, you find a place to sleep or you start walking.

All those saying your ex was happy for you to risk losing your licence...he was happy for you - and his son - to risk losing your lives in a drink-driving related accident. It doesn't matter how many drinks you've had, even one will impair your judgement and reaction time. I'm really glad your son was able to come and collect you. It sounds like the situation may have escalated even further if you hadn't been able to leave.

You sound like well rid there OP. But you do need to let him know where the keys are tho as it’s not for you to decide for eg of someone else could drive him in his own car.

The OP didn't hide the car keys because she was "mean". She hid them because she was concerned he'd drive when he's not allowed to do it. She did it out of concern for him, not out of malice. The fact he ended up showing his true twat colours, doesn't mean she did it out of spite.

A different issue is that in order to fully protect herself, she should text him the location of the keys now. They are his keys, his car, and is a grown adult to decide whether he drives or not. It's not the OP's responsibility, and she shouldn't be making decisions for his assets (even if it's only a key).

Well done for sticking up for yourself.

Your son sounds lovely.

He isn’t worth having if he was willing for you to potentially cause an accident just for his convenience. He isn’t a keeper due to his bullying behaviour.

As an aside it’s much harder to drive at the moment than normally. I tried to pick my son up yesterday and got stuck on the motorway for hours due to various accidents other people had had. My son had to give up and get the train home and I was in the car for 4 hrs and achieved nothing. So between Christmas and new year - no unnecessary journeys. Obviously people have to go to work (if applicable) but not driving people they have met once around.

In my first year at uni in an out of the way uni, I was lucky (spolit) enough to be the only person with a car, always gettng asked for lifts to the station (£10 taxi fare in the late 90s/early 00s). It was a good lesson in learning to say no. At first I really struggled with this, I then started telling people I'd had a drink, and then I just progressed to all out 'no.' However, during the period of telling people I'd had a drink, I don't remember a single penny-pincing student 25 years ago trying to pressurise me into the lift having said this.

You were brilliant Op and well done on breaking up with him before you left. I'd send him one last message telling him where his car keys are so there's no reason for him to contact you again.
You had a lucky escape really, his DS hasn't grown up at 25 and your Ex sees nothing wrong with that, you don't need two entitled males in your life

Good for you OP. You have also got well brought up DCs. Is DS’s car rescue in progress yet?

His son is an adult. It was never OP’s problem to solve, and he repeatedly tried to make it so.

although I think you did exactly the right thing in not driving, and that he was being unfair in his reaction to it, I also understand he wanted to help his son who is in a difficult situation out. I think that you hiding his keys in a place that he won't find them is a pretty mean thing to do to be honest (unless you think he would try to drive tonight himself which sounds unlikely)

@Didntwenearlyhaveitall your son is a⭐️
So glad you got home safely.

As an aside I do wish that posters wouldn't assume that Ubers are available everywhere. We don't all live in towns and cities with plentiful taxi services.

I am a bloke who has been known to take risks racing a motorcycle or fast driving a car.
But I do not have even one drink and drive. It just seems too risky, even if one has a minor bump and get's breathalysed your on the defensive. If someone was injured then how could I square my conscience?