Page 5 | In laws with tiny stomachs

HumbleStumble · 2025-12-27T19:06:37+00:00

Staying with in-laws (aged in late 60s). We are a normal healthy family with normal appetites (I think?). I am sick of having to "request" 3 meals a day. As far as I can work out they generally must eat a cup of tea for breakfast, a dry wafer with a thimble of cheese for lunch and a grilled sardine for dinner usually, with loud exclamations that the enormous amount consumed for each meal will see them out for the next few days. Today I have had to drive to a cafe for a normal lunch and bought horderves "for Christmas" just to bulk up the dinner of boiled potatoes and two slices of ham. Children are ravenous. It was their choice of hosting, and I am paying for all the food (but they get to dictate the (lack of) menu!

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 21:03

Choconuts · 28/12/2025 20:58

This seems so bizarre to me why don’t you just make yourself some toast or something???

Isn't it.

Choconuts · 28/12/2025 20:58

This seems so bizarre to me why don’t you just make yourself some toast or something???

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 20:54

You and particularly your Dh have let your kids down big time. It's clear your Mil has an eating disorder. You could have gone home yesterday. I was on your side until the takeaway post and your poor FIL is being starved because of her eating disorder by the sounds of it

Don't come on here for sympathy when you and your husband allowed this shit show

Dreadful! You should have bought the takeaway you and your kids wanted - not bent over for people who have been starving you for two days

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 20:50

ednaclouda · 28/12/2025 20:13

Am hosting my in laws ( 70 ish ). over new year
they come with nothing no chocs no booze NOTHING
wont eat my food (i'm a fairly good cook)
fil will bring his own flask of hot water for his TEA

fil will bring his own knife and fork

i despair...... I love to feed people but I don't bother now because they always say no. Also they love McDonalds just dont

Don't host them then

Blablibladirladada · 28/12/2025 20:49

HumbleStumble · 27/12/2025 19:17

Because they simply will refuse it. I've had to get want they want and any extra is seen as waste (and I suspect / worry is thrown away). I have stored some extra supplies in our car given the cold weather 😂

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”old people” can have some very weird ideas!

keep on what you are doing and next time “so and so have grown so much, they eat at least double of last time, I will buy all the food so everyone is happy.”

If they say no, then you need to insist you don’t want the children to be hungry so you will do it.

If they say yes, it is a win.

Surely the children say they are hungry? That might help too… 😂😂

Woodfiresareamazing · 28/12/2025 20:49

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 08:53

Thank you for the messages, they have been my main sustenance. To answer questions, in-laws are visibly offended if I bring actual meals to eat, if I bring "extras" like dips or bread "for the table" this seems acceptable. Luckily they were out of coffee this morning (/ would never have more than a meek Earl Gray tea without milk anyway) so I went out to get coffees. I brought back mountains of croissants "they were going to be thrown out otherwise" and popped a cannoli in my mouth in the cafe. DH doesn't think that directly addressing the underfed emaciated 🐘 in the room with them, is going to help and indeed will only offend.

I think there are two options here: never stay overnight again, and eat before visiting; or take meals/snacks/drinks with you and present it as 'saving them the hard work of catering so they are free to enjoy your company'. And if they're offended by the latter, tough. You are all offended by not having enough to eat!

HazelMember · 28/12/2025 20:39

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 20:24

Honestly. Fuck this stupid thread. You've allowed your kids to be starved for three days and done nothing about it and you are sitting moaning on about how your Mil ate a cube of feta

Why didn't you remove your kids from t this toxic situation yesterday instead of allowing them to be fed broth. Fuck off!

I agree with this. OP keeps reporting how little they are being given and moaning about ILs.

The DH is silent in this stupid situation while the DC go hungry.

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 20:24

Honestly. Fuck this stupid thread. You've allowed your kids to be starved for three days and done nothing about it and you are sitting moaning on about how your Mil ate a cube of feta

Why didn't you remove your kids from t this toxic situation yesterday instead of allowing them to be fed broth. Fuck off!

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 20:21

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 19:49

The takeaway has been demolished 😍
Finally some nutrition. I think I've actually over-eaten. We persuaded them to allow us to buy a takeaway for everyone as thanks for all their 'hospitality'. After fierce negotiation they accepted a last minute deal of Greek food (Indian and thai too spicy for in-laws, Chinese too greasy and pizza was junk food). MIL pecked at a cube of feta and salad before starting on the washing up and PIL actually went to town on a moussaka. Maybe he was hungry all along. MIL has generally disapproved of the gluttony and went off saying something about starving children elsewhere.

Listen. Just get out of this situation. Now. Your mother in law clearly has an eating disorder and you are all pandering to her by accepting her idiotic takes on how much people should eat. She had one cube of feta and went off muttering - leave. And please make sure your FIL is OK going forward as he's suffering because she has an eating disorder.

Speak up or ship out! You are as bad as they are at this point.

Hepzibar · 28/12/2025 20:17

Thewolvesarerunningagain · 28/12/2025 10:53

It may be that they have a low appetite but my mum ( born 1939) would've up and died of shame if any visitor was hungry, let alone family. She catered as though for an army and she was not wealthy. My sister and I inherited the catering habitus. If you’re in my house, you’re fed!

Same here @Thewolvesarerunningagain my mum born same year, day war broke out. We always put her over- catering idown to rationing, making sure nobody went hungry again!
Do you remember the BT adverts with Maureen Lipman as Beattie? Opening the crammed fridge saying “well if I knew you were coming I’d have gotten something in “? That was mum. 😂

even in her later years when I hosted Christmas, she would still ‘buy in’ because it didn’t feel right.

she, and me, would be horrified if our visitors were hungry. I’d rather be left with food than not have enough

Roobarbtwo · 28/12/2025 20:16

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 19:49

The takeaway has been demolished 😍
Finally some nutrition. I think I've actually over-eaten. We persuaded them to allow us to buy a takeaway for everyone as thanks for all their 'hospitality'. After fierce negotiation they accepted a last minute deal of Greek food (Indian and thai too spicy for in-laws, Chinese too greasy and pizza was junk food). MIL pecked at a cube of feta and salad before starting on the washing up and PIL actually went to town on a moussaka. Maybe he was hungry all along. MIL has generally disapproved of the gluttony and went off saying something about starving children elsewhere.

No. You should have been able to buy the takeaway you wanted. Not their choice. Stop bending over for them

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/12/2025 20:14

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 19:49

The takeaway has been demolished 😍
Finally some nutrition. I think I've actually over-eaten. We persuaded them to allow us to buy a takeaway for everyone as thanks for all their 'hospitality'. After fierce negotiation they accepted a last minute deal of Greek food (Indian and thai too spicy for in-laws, Chinese too greasy and pizza was junk food). MIL pecked at a cube of feta and salad before starting on the washing up and PIL actually went to town on a moussaka. Maybe he was hungry all along. MIL has generally disapproved of the gluttony and went off saying something about starving children elsewhere.

Sounds like FIL may be genuinely suffering due to her food issues.

What do you think her reaction would be if blood tests showed him to have malnutrition? I ask because this happened to me and I brushed it off (was in the worst of my ED) but if my kids had had those results I would have been horrified.

Just to add, it was only me I starved, I loved cooking and feeding the kids well, before anyone starts!

ednaclouda · 28/12/2025 20:13

Am hosting my in laws ( 70 ish ). over new year
they come with nothing no chocs no booze NOTHING
wont eat my food (i'm a fairly good cook)
fil will bring his own flask of hot water for his TEA

fil will bring his own knife and fork

i despair...... I love to feed people but I don't bother now because they always say no. Also they love McDonalds just dont

Parker231 · 28/12/2025 20:10

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 19:49

The takeaway has been demolished 😍
Finally some nutrition. I think I've actually over-eaten. We persuaded them to allow us to buy a takeaway for everyone as thanks for all their 'hospitality'. After fierce negotiation they accepted a last minute deal of Greek food (Indian and thai too spicy for in-laws, Chinese too greasy and pizza was junk food). MIL pecked at a cube of feta and salad before starting on the washing up and PIL actually went to town on a moussaka. Maybe he was hungry all along. MIL has generally disapproved of the gluttony and went off saying something about starving children elsewhere.

Why have you waited until your last day to have a proper meal. It’s the Christmas holidays there should be an excess of food to choose from.

Original poster

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 19:49

The takeaway has been demolished 😍
Finally some nutrition. I think I've actually over-eaten. We persuaded them to allow us to buy a takeaway for everyone as thanks for all their 'hospitality'. After fierce negotiation they accepted a last minute deal of Greek food (Indian and thai too spicy for in-laws, Chinese too greasy and pizza was junk food). MIL pecked at a cube of feta and salad before starting on the washing up and PIL actually went to town on a moussaka. Maybe he was hungry all along. MIL has generally disapproved of the gluttony and went off saying something about starving children elsewhere.

OP posts:

HazelMember · 28/12/2025 19:26

suburburban · 28/12/2025 19:12

Could you not ask for some bread to go with it?

Show quote history

No. She finally succumbed to starvation and wet blanket DH still didn't say anything.

suburburban · 28/12/2025 19:12

HumbleStumble · 28/12/2025 15:05

Lunch today was a thin broth soup. No bread. The bowls were filled up halfway. I threw some cheese under the surface for us when in laws were attending to an unexpected knock at the door (Amazon delivering to wrong house). When they returned to their soup they said they couldn't possibly finish any more and started washing up. One takeaway (am dreading the process of ordering) and one more sleep to go.

Could you not ask for some bread to go with it?

WhatALightbulbMoment · 28/12/2025 19:08

What's so difficult about feeding yourself when you're staying with them? Why do you expect to be waited on? Buy your own food and prepare it for yourself.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/12/2025 19:03

Trishyb10 · 28/12/2025 18:44

Dpends waht you class as normal, what are you having in the 3 meals a day?

I actually only eat once a day but my family.....

Porridge, overnight oats, or something involving eggs

Sandwich, salad, jacket potato all with some form of protein etc then fruit, yoghurt, snack etc

Protein with carby side and veg/salad side.

PyongyangKipperbang · 28/12/2025 19:00

We call them Horse Duvets. Preferably said in the voice of Alison Steadman in Abigails Party!

tommyhoundmum · 28/12/2025 18:56

AmarylIis · 27/12/2025 19:20

YANBU, but what are horderves?

It's creative

Oldwmn · 28/12/2025 18:52

AmarylIis · 27/12/2025 19:20

YANBU, but what are horderves?

Hors D'oevres

dynamiccactus · 28/12/2025 18:45

I can't see why, if you are at home, why you can't do a normal size meal for you and a small meal for them (or vice versa if they are hosting). My mum has a small appetite and often eats very little - if we go out and say have a sandwich I can pretty well guarantee that she will only want half and will want me to have the other half. However, she always finishes a roast dinner, which is good news at Christmas!