In laws with tiny stomachs

That's such nonsense.
It's not healthy fir most people to live like that. It's disordered eating. You dont combat one type of disordered eating with another.
Like I said my own mother has literally no muscle mass because she's been starving herself thin most of her life.
People who do that have negative health consequences on a par with obesity.
Unless they are naturally very small or very elderly or very sedentary, then most people do need 3 healthy meals a day

My MIL is a competitive under eater and is getting worse. SIL gets upset as she ne er buts food in when she comes to visit. I haven’t offered to take her shopping to her food for her DD arriving to be told no, DD buys her own food - only because she has too!

MIL was recently in hospital, I was visiting over lunch time and the lady across from her was apologising for not eating much (they threw away a plateful), MIL also complained about not being able to manage much and they feed them so much, she left half a chicken breast only, eaten the jacket potato, salad and other half of the chicken breast. In her mind she was on par with the lady who didn’t touch her meal.

she also told DH she was having a cracker sandwich for tea recently, I presume she meant to crackers and a bit of cheese. She has always had a funny attitude to food but it is a lot worse the older she has gotten.

Course it’s an exaggeration
‘thin broth’ jumped the shark sadly 🦈

But it is for me so if I were hosting, I’d offer three meals, no one has to eat hugely each mealtime.

Not even sure this is an age thing. My parents serve a minimum of two courses per meal at three meals a day, and there is always plenty. It's usually put out in dishes for people to help themselves so everyone can eat to their appetite. Plus drinks, snacks etc as needed. They'd be horrified to think anyone was hungry or thirsty at their house.

Oh Op, you do sound wonderful. If I was nearby I’d drop off some fish and chips for you to snaffle in the car

I'd be staying away from them

Next year would you be able to get a self catering flat near them and then you could get the food you want and will be able to ask if they want to visit for a meal. This might be a good solution.

My dad (79) is the same. It is infuriating. “Oh I can’t eat that amount Wife, give that to someone else.” (Normal sized portion of food). “God that’s a big portion dinosaur!” (I’m not overweight). “I couldn’t possibly eat that.”

I bite my lip for the most part but not always. He’s not hungry because he’s full of red wine!

I know, I was just making a joke of the fact that she doesn't have to look quite so far away to find starving children...!

Yes. The Mil has an eating disorder and ate one cube of feta and is upset at other people eating more as there are starving children elsewhere in the world

Starving children elsewhere?! 🤣

I think it's fake and it has now jumped the shark due to how long it has gone on for.

Because they aren't being fed enough obviously and are being difficult about every food choice that's being made

They are very rude and frankly ridiculous.

The size of your own appetite doesn't stop anyone knowing that most people eat at least 3 times a day, and to offer 3 meals a day to your guests.

You don't "Plate" food for your guests, you allow everyone to eat according to your own appetite, but not serving food is stupid.

If the inlaws find it acceptable for the OP to provide bread and humus etc "for the table" why was it necessary to sneak cheese into the thin broth provided for lunch ?

They're little snacky things you eat before dinner

They clearly don't care about the kids if they think it's ok to get half a bowl of gruel with some extra sneaky cheese flung in. What a weird family

Staying with relatives is hard .My Sil is on a permanent diet and thinks we all should be also .Once when staying with them there was plate of raspberries for breakfast for three teenage boys and nothing until dinner in the evening which was carbonara made with egg white instead of yolk and no parmesan . I took my son 'shopping' in order to feed him the following day.

No. The secret supplies have not been adequate on any level - olives!

She didn't. She said she had some supplies in the car - but has still been hungry throughout the visit. And there has been no info about the children since the first post when she said they were ravenous.

🐀

I'm not sure that this post is real. There are children, and yet neither parent is able to make sure that they or themselves get enough food, because there are apparently blocks in place to all reasonable solutions.

It makes no sense at all.

I smell a rat.

😂

they’ve been fed!! OP said she’s been buying secret supplies!

@HumbleStumbleout of interest are the PILS underweight??

My parents used to undercater - we started eating beforehand, feeding the kids but skimping on our portions etc. Once my brother was running late and DH and I just fed our kids and us normal portions and there was nothing left for DB. Once my mother died we all got to eat normally because she was the Portion Controller. I do think it was deliberate.

Now DB can't help but talk about portions all the time and how much he's eaten and how he'll have to go for a run etc. I think he's caught the disordered eating from her. I'm overweight because I tend to do the opposite of what she would have wanted in all things in life. I deliberately do not mention food with my DC.

So you finally decided to feed your children today like you should've been doing for the last few days?

Your ILs are not at fault for your kids and you being hungry! You are!

People can comment all they like about gluttony or be "offended" but your role is to ignore them and give your children food. You have feet, a phone and money in the bank. You can purchase whatever they want to eat

You failed

Wise up