In laws with tiny stomachs

A sardine is not unhealthy.

I went cold reading that

Did you/siblings other relatives go in and make sure he was eating or at least update the nurses that his wife might be limiting the amount of food he was able to ingest , in turn slowing down his recovery ??

I'm with your DH.

Yep, my mum had a hearty appetite her whole life. She had to have a second breakfast like a hobbit! Mostly very healthy food but guilt free when a nice treat was on offer.
She was 5 ft 1 and slim her entire life.

I’m on chemo and my appetite went along with the tumour when it was chopped out!

BUT…. The Christmas dinner and everything else was flowing!!

we still have loads left (probably because I’m not eating it all) but I couldn’t imagine making people eat the same small amount as me YANBU

I like this idea. And as someone who has a severe peanut allergy in the family and so has not eaten peanuts in 16 years I have been thinking about a PPs anecdote about sneaking soft white rolls and peanut butter with avarice. Mmmm.

DH is a bit of a food hoarder. He was brought up by parents who experienced rationing and his reaction has been to always carry food and our cupboards are groaning. His standard thing when going away is to stock up on multiple cheese and pickle sandwiches (He's vegetarian). So he would have taken at least 7 or so for a 3 day stay. It has proven quite useful at times because I am not such a planner. I have a lovely memory of a slightly stale sandwich and a mini bottle of prosecco once when we got stuck in traffic for 5-ish hours.

I like horderves, it’s delightfully keeping up appearances.

I do like ‘horderves’ : it gives a suggestion somehow of hoarding and secret, illicit snacking on delicious blinis and contraband salmon and mini sausage rolls. I shall adopt it!

Last year I went on holiday with my mum and stepdad and being on mounjaro, was the only time I've visited them that I haven't been starving the whole time.
They spend a lot of the day planning their meals, and then it's something tiny with a bit of salad.
I suggest putting boxes of cereal bars or individual wrapped cupboard snacks in your case.

I really hope you don't subject your kids to this next year. No way should you have been running around foraging or having to hide food - particularly because you bought it

You lot are worrying me. Malnutrition is rampant among our elderly. You'll be setting yourself up for muscle wasting and bone loss.

If you aren't interested in food, get a list of daily nutrient requirements and organise yourselves a 'health diet'.

Ftr, I'm 70 and eat like the proverbial horse, all day. No, I'm not overweight.

MILs idea of breakfast is one slice of (thin) toast, so I always take food when we go there now.

This is what we have to do when visiting our PIL. If my mum has the dogs, we go to the local Premier Inn, so DC can load up on unlimited breakfast, surreptitiously snack in the car in the day if there's no lunch, and we often offer to cook or take them out for a meal in the evening. If we have the dogs with us, we get an Airbnb. Thankfully staying over with them is out of the question as they don't have room for us plus 2 teenage DC and 2 dogs (was 3 until recently). DC have long outgrown the camp beds they used to sleep on in the living room, they're both tall.

PIL faint at the extravagance of staying in hotels/Airbnbs and don't understand why we can't just "make do" for a couple of nights, but none of us slept well, the kids were cranky due to being underfed and not sleeping and changes in routine. They were offended, but nobody died and they got used to it. I don't know if staying elsewhere might be an option OP, to kindly save them the work of hosting?

My mother's obsession with tiny portions and not being able to manage "all that" was a massive issue when my dad was in hospital before he died. His condition meant he couldn't really feed himself so mum was helping out with going in at lunchtime to visit and help him eat and would nibble on her meagre lunch while helping dad with his. She would regularly report he'd had something like "one sausage, a spoonful of mash and a WHOLE yoghurt". Funnily enough he lost huge amounts of weight in hospital which did not help with his failure to recover. So much so that his wedding ring which had been firmly wedged in place for decades fell off his finger.

When she had a recent hospital stay she refused to eat meals because she was "not hungry" - how could she be hungry when all she was doing was sitting in bed?? How could anyone be expected to eat cereal/toast for breakfast and then sandwiches and yoghurt for lunch AND a cooked dinner? Outrageous. Despite a very lovely nurse explaining diplomatically that it didn;t really matter whether she was hungry or not, her body needed the fuel so just get the sodding chicken salad sandwich down her and stop moaning.

What is wonderful about a couple who won't speak up to get their children fed?

“Pecked” 🤣🤣🤣🤣👌🏻

I’m reminded of the time my exSIL served up buffet mini burgers with a few chips ‘because they looked like fun’ as if they were normal sized burgers. A main course of 8 mini burgers between four adults and two teenagers…
ExSIL and BIL also used to order one carvery meal and a spare plate because they couldn’t possibly eat that much food.
I used to cringe with embarrassment when the penny dropped with the waiting staff.

No, I’m really not. I have a very active 10yo boy who it feels like eats for 5. He plays a lot of sport, is lean and fit, and eats like a horse. He’ll have dinner and second dinner and another 6 weetbix before bed. I spend a lot of time thinking about healthy filling things to feed him- eg fridays is first dinner at 4:30 a couple of hours before a game and second dinner at 8pm when he gets back. The others are younger and they eat a lot too but not quite as much as this one 😂 the 7yo certainly matches his brother at breakfast though.

That's like my dad's inlaws. Found out recently they've got nearly a million quid I the bank and my dad said "that's a lifetime of eating half a sandwich"

How are your children handling it? Mine would be saying they are starving in front of everyone... what would ILs say to that?

And kids are having to eat this gruel because of the mother in laws disordered eating. Shameful!!

They should be enjoying their Christmas. Not this misery

Stop making excuses for ridiculous disordered eating -anyone on here. It is completely normal to eat two or three decent meals a day and be active and not be obese.

Eating a bowl of gruel and one bit of feta cheese is not normal..

My mum is around 8 stones and even she eats three meals a day. Small ones but not gruel and one cube of feta.

Completely ridiculous. No one should be making excuses for an eating disorder

My brother is a personal trainer and is very active. Eats three meals a day and snacks and has very low body fat percentage but he's not underweight.

The notion that people need to eat like birds to not be obese is a pile of shite