In laws with tiny stomachs

I'm the same kind of shortarse, but I need to eat every day regardless of what I had for tea the previous night. And I'd never assume the average person prefers not to have breakfast and lunch - experience tells me I'm the odd one.

Me neither. Breakfast or lunch, never both and then dinner. I'm a shortarse, I need a small amount of calories!

My mother too. 100%. She’ll never order a puddling or cake herself because she ‘just couldn’t, we’ve eaten SO MUCH we’re like whales etc etc’ then the rest of us do and she’s constantly wanting some ‘oooh, looks so ‘naughty’ (I really HATE that word when applied to food!!!), can I just try a little bit’ and eating everyone’s pudding with her eyes, drooling at your elbow. It’s so bloody irritating we all try to avoid eating out with her now. So much fat shaming. Her siblings are similar and I think it’s an eating disorder they all have. They’re all overweight, obviously.

I'm 75, and I genuinely eat one meal a day. I don't feel hungry.

But I would never assume anyone visiting my house was the same. If I'd invite people id expect them to eat three meals a day, and I'd cater for that. Though I wouldn't necessarily cook those meals. Id just tell them to rifle through the fridge and cupboard, and take what they need to have a satisfying meal.

one kind of side affect of my need for one meal a day, is my adult child seems to be playing a game of, "how much veg can I stuff in her during one small meal". Turns out, it's usually 5.

this is awful, dd stayed with her dh and my Dgc, we make sure we had baby food for dgd and my dd is able to help herself to food out of the fridge or use the kitchen

I'm 75.
Do wish I had a small. appetite.

Can you not just buy food and cook it?

We always do all the hosting and most of our guests sit there like penguins waiting to be tossed a fish, mouths open, three times a day. I get so fed up with feeding and watering everyone after several days. We have one set of friends though who come armed with food shopping and snacks. When they or their dc get hungry, they whack it out and feed themselves. They are still fed 3 meals a day, but if they’re hungry in between or the kids want to eat at a different time or won’t eat curry or whatever, they have supplies and sort themselves out. It’s wonderful.

Is it a generation thing? I eat more than my parents did and my kids eat more than me. I was encouraged not to eat in between meals and this has stuck. I think portion sizes now are much bigger than when I was a kid.

on Xmas Eve morning she declared that “we won’t need to eat today because we had a big dinner last night and we’ll be having a Christmas dinner tomorrow.” So she was expecting us to go without food for 1.5 days!

My mum comes out with batshit things like this. But she's obsessed with demonstrating how controlled she is. We just laugh and tell her we'll sort ourselves out when we're hungry. Invariably she does need food within a few hours, like people do 🙄

You're staying way too long. Why are you still there??

And yet (as hard as it is) here you are…

Pair with rich bottle of equine. @HumbleStumble loving your work here.

i just got back today from being away. I’m going to town on the cheese and, frankly (although I’ll regret it tomorrow) the wine. I watch what I eat and drink all fucking year, so I’m bloody well going to allow myself everything I fancy at Christmas. I could not be doing with parsimonious hosts, or anyone who assumes that because they aren’t hungry no-one else is hungry.

Do some people just never learn to be considerate hosts!?

My aunt and uncle share a slice of toast for breakfast FFS

I honestly think people do this because

1. They genuinely have small apetites
2. They dont like hosting and find it a unfulfilling use of their time to cook for others.

‘horderves’ 😂

People generally have smaller appetites as they age. This is a good thing. You need to manage your family and their bigger appetites.

We’ve just come back from staying with my elderly aunt for several days who eats like a sparrow and has no comprehension that other people actually have an appetite (she is completely ‘with it’).

We arrived on the 23rd and we had a takeaway fish n chips for dinner which she suggested (then when we went to order decided she couldn’t possibly eat so much), and then on Xmas Eve morning she declared that “we won’t need to eat today because we had a big dinner last night and we’ll be having a Christmas dinner tomorrow.” So she was expecting us to go without food for 1.5 days!

She said the same again on Boxing Day and again today, and each time I had to politely say that we do need to have meals when we are hungry (we supplied all the Xmas food including the turkey a s prepared the meals), so we we were not eating her food or expecting her to cook. It really took the joy out of Christmas having to constantly justify having a bowl of cereal/toast for breakfast and being looked at like we are greedy pigs. Never staying again for Christmas.

I would be ordering pizza or heading out for a chippy.

Maybe if she sees how much you can get through the penny will drop.

My in-laws ate like sparrows but overfed everyone else, especially the "working men" 🙄.

This made me laugh! But also brought up a memory. When my granny was dying, and I was looking after her, I'd buy her these. They lasted about a week. But, to be fair, she thought her thimbleful of wine at dinner was so luxurious and she'd tell me happily what a treat it was. So it was totally worth it!

I don’t think they want to host you anymore - they can’t be bothered

My parents are getting like this.

Have an omlette for breakfast and they start telling everyone we won’t need dinner that evening because we have had so much to eat.

Bizarrely they will often then eat a normal
sized meal later in the day, having wound everyone up that no food will be provided / they’re terrible gluttonous for eating more than a tangerine in a 24h period.

Oh come on, she is bringing food! But normal people don't require their guests to hide food in their cars. It's silly. And not conducive to enjoying the visit.

Never agree to Christmas at theirs again. As I'm getting older I recognise my boys and partners eat a lot more than me but it is my responsibility as a host to ensure there is lots of food for everyone. I would be mortified if guests were hungry.

Lmfao.

You have my sympathy

My uncle and his lovely lady partner are just like this.
Tea for breakfast, soup amd a slice of bread for lunch and a a slice of meat two bits of potato for dinner with a cup of tea for dessert. 😅😅😅

It blew their mind my toddler eats every 2 hours and I was.told i'd "make her as fat as a fool" about a billion times... shes 90th centile for height and 70th for weight but okay sure
.. 🤣

we bring oat bars in the suitcases and go out for lunch / but and cook dinner to say thank you.

Older people's metabolism are much slower I think

OMG, my sympathy. My gran, when I was growing up, was a family joke for her inability to judge how much food other people needed. I have a family member who was a nun, and therefore wasn't allowed personal property or her own money. Occasionally she'd be allowed out for a visit, and her mother superior used to give her official religious licence to buy biscuits, because it was understood that granny's regime was more abstemious than that of the nuns.

Sadly, my mum is now showing signs of going the same way. I went down a few weeks ago, and I'm pregnant and absolutely fucking starving all the time - she thought breakfast could be served around 10.30am, and could consist of a slice or two of toast.

I do try to be honest and just say mum, sorry, but honestly we eat more food than this. Your DH really should do that. You're not describing ridiculous excesses here.

Yet my mid 80s mother eats 3 decent meals a day and eats more than 2 roasties

and over caters - which gets wearing

it’s not age

Why can’t you cook a meal while you are staying there, as an adult and family why are you waiting to be served meals.