In laws with tiny stomachs

Are they very slim, OP?

I’ve tended to be a wee bit suspicious of people who hardly eat, after long ago sharing a flat with 2 girls who’d have ‘just a bit of lettuce’ etc. when I was there.

They were both nurses working shifts, and I once came home unexpectedly in the middle of the day to find them both tucking into a big roast dinner with all the trimmings, and some lavish pudding with cream waiting.
I actually couldn’t have given a toss over what they did or didn’t eat, but they both went bright red - caught in the act! 😂

Might add that neither of them was exactly on the skinny side!

This is about older people though we are all different, of course. The post war generation grew up on rationed food (until the 1950s!), all home cooked, there were no ready meals and no snacking.

I the 1980s, I remember dieting and being told that stomachs shrank or grew according to how much you ate, think of a lifetime of tiny meals, you really couldn't eat more. Do they still perform tummy tucks? I remember reading how patients felt when their stomachs were literally sewn up.

Whatever, so many older people lose touch with the young and it's unreasonable to not think about having more than enough food available for family staying. They might, I suppose, have trouble estimating quantities. I would bring extra supplies or just have a firm, assertive conversation well in advance.

No I've never done lunch.

That sounds awful 😣

(Not the food, her comments)

I think some people need less food as they get older.

We have this too, and also drinks! Left to them it would be two cups of tea a day. I'm happy to get drinks myself, but quite surprised with how little they drink.

Not in the slightest, you may want to consider you have an eating disorder if you think it is

Not in my family. Fortunately for us the diet boom of the 1960s on passed the women of my family by. Plenty of odd behaviour in our family, but no hangups about food or obsessionwith weight.

I know OP is being amusing and dealing with it well but I honestly don’t understand how people subject themselves to this utter shite.

@HumbleStumble you have so much tolerance.

But why did you agree to go given you know what they’re like?

It may be that they have a low appetite but my mum ( born 1939) would've up and died of shame if any visitor was hungry, let alone family. She catered as though for an army and she was not wealthy. My sister and I inherited the catering habitus. If you’re in my house, you’re fed!

Just don’t go there to stay overnight again! Life is too short and it’s not fair on the DC.

Because some people were conditioned while growing up not to stir the pot. Because some people feel physically unwell around people in bad mood.
Its much easier to think that you would do xyz in their shoes when you are actually in your own shoes in your own home hidden behind the screen and not experiencing the tense athmosphere at OPs end.

My Mum is elderly, largely inactive, and eats very little, definitely less than my kids. Luckily she never hosts, and I just give her a small portion of food when she comes to our house, and then offer seconds which she always declines. I can easily imagine she would be much like your in-laws with portion size for everyone if she was feeding us. It's definitely an aging thing. It's a bit off they haven't realised they are starving everyone though, given you've stayed several days I think your husband needs to risk causing offence and speak up tactfully.

They dont seem to need much food which is ok. Its not ok to force that on you and make all the comments. They clearly have food related issue, likely to stem from they own childhoods. Or/and money issue. Still not ok to treat you this way.

I honestly don’t understand why people care so much about offending people over things like this. I honestly couldn’t give a rats arse if someone was offended that I bought our extra food (If they were being so ridiculously mean). In fact, I’d just say at the beginning of the stat that we all have large appetites and that I’ve bought extra food to add to the table.

i just couldn’t be arsed to die and 3 days hungry and having to come up with reasons and excuses to buy food.

just grow some cheese balls, op.

Mid 60's is not 'older'. We don't turn into birds when we pass 60 you know.

I've heard people in their 80's eat a bit less, aren't as hungry. Most people in their 60's are still.working full time.

My MIL used to be like this, serving us one supermarket pizza between 5 ( one of my teens could easily eat one each) and then saying she’ll put the leftovers in the fridge. One lettuce leaf each for the salad. She always does a cracking roast though. But now I tend to cook & buy the food as just easier.

I'm old but I certainly don't eat just what's been described! Often breakfast will be about 10 or even 11am if my book is particularly good, I may then have soup and a sandwich late afternoon and a snacky thing in the evening, but when I have guests there is always plenty of food for when they want it and my eating habits change a bit.

Hmmm. I’ve been to celebratory occasions in Italy and France and let me tell you, anyone not eating all the endless courses and knocking back a glass of wine with every dish was definitely frowned upon and heavily encouraged to keep eating. And my friend’s Indian parents are essentially deaf to the words ‘no thanks, I’m full’.

Well obviously, but getting older doesn't mean you begin to starve your family, does it?

Have you tried being visibly offended yourself, when they don't bloody feed you? I mean, that's more offensive. Who decided that they can't be offended, but you can?

Horse's doofers, as we used to call them.

My dad was still eating really well in the care home right up until just before he died and he was 94. He really enjoyed his food.

For breakfast he had cereal, one poached egg on toast, another slice of toast and marmalade and a cup of tea.

Lunch was a cooked meal with a dessert.

In between there was tea with cake morning and afternoon.

Evening was a snack tea, sandwich or soup plus tea and cake later on.

He was a bit of a marvel to most of the staff and that's when they knew (and we did too) that he was coming to end of life when his appetite dropped off a cliff and he ate very little after a succession of infections.

My mum on the other hand, ate really sparingly for 20 odd years, she rarely finished a meal with a cleared plate even though there was hardly anything on it to start with.

That’s fine for them, but they’re hosting guests. They need to consider that their guests are not older people and make sure they provide enough for their guests to have a more normal diet.

My late mil,was completely the opposite,there would be a huge lunch,an hour later multi bags of crisps,offered round, then sandwiches and other snacks. She couldn't show physical affection, never had even when the kids were small (she walked out when they were school age) she got angry and offended if you didn't eat it all. We used to come away feeling ill, then put our feet down said no,so she did doggy bags.