Brother has said he will stop contact between his kids and my stepdaughter over Christmas invite

Hate to say it but if your DH is a different ethnicity has brother started following the hatred preached by some on line and is now directing it at your DSD (and husband). A sudden change like that has to have been driven by something and it doesn't seem to have been a change in the family dynamic.

I think this is the most awful thing I’ve read over Christmas. I’m so sorry for you OP. I suspect this is a red herring and your db is looking to fall out with you and DH. It’s weird for this to come out of nowhere .

Maybe you should of read the whole thread before sharing your instinct

If you end up isolated from your brother, that will probably be a positive thing. How cruel and vindictive. What has a 5 year old done to him? I wouldn’t want him in my life to be honest. And if I was your mum I would put him firmly in his place.

That's why there's not really much point in commenting. The OP won't answer questions so the whole thread is guessing.

The only thing to do, based on the little info there is. Is tell him to crack on, tell SIL you're sorry your babysitting services aren't needed anymore. Wish them well and get on with your lives.

You can do anything you want @WearyAuldWumman . But I don't think it's likely.

Ask your DB will he be stopping his children from attending school because of all the 'random' and 'strange' children his daughters will need to be around, and will he be crossing the road when he sees other children in public and staying away from parks, shops, swimming pools etc...kids everywhere. Sounds petty, but gets the message across.

It does sound like he's jealous and he's projecting. His kids are no longer babies and you have a baby on the way, so he's raging that baby will have lots of attention, therefore misdirecting his anger onto a 5yr old child.

Your brother is disgusting and I would tell him he has now become a safeguarding risk regarding your children and he is no longer to contact you or be around your children because he's too aggressive and bullying a 5yr old.

No, there's nothing obvious about it. You can include a non-biological grandchild in your will.

Obviously the non-biological kid wouldn't get inheritance. Not sure that's the problem.

Oh heck. You're right. This hadn't occurred to me.

Your brother is behaving appallingly.

I suspect he is jealous or worried about inheritance from your parents.

Good to read a sane take on here. So much virtue signalling and performative posting when this is most likely. I'm sure DB is rationale.

I think Zelda has probably hit the nail on the head.

Racism is being expressed more openly and tolerated in our society these days. He just feels more able to say what he thinks than he used to.

I wonder if he is projecting onto your DSD his feelings about you being pregnant and having a baby soon. Is he feeling like you will be the centre of family attention for having the newest addition to the family?

Also, if there is an ethnicity difference, could that be coming to the fore - his latent prejudice against having a mixed race blood relative? He was able to think he was a nice, tolerant liberal when it was just step family, but not now you will be having a mixed race child of your own (if that’s the case), he’s coming out with his racist inner thoughts?

He’s a childish, and frankly horrible, dick whatever the reason - using a 5 year old child as the object of his strop is completely unacceptable. I am glad your parents are telling him to belt up, but clearly he thinks withholding his children is his trump card, which is also demonstrative of his vileness.

Any chance your brother as simply harboured “flags! Nigel! Unite the kingdom!” feelings all along and they’re coming out stronger now for whatever reason?

I suspect he’s realised that he is no longer the golden boy providing the only grandchildren. And because your’s will be younger, they will start to take attention from his. Previously DSD was your boyfriend’s daughter, generously included, but now she’s legally your stepdaughter so as much a part of the family as his wife.

My bet.. your brother has been pulled into right wing/reform type social media. He is being bombarded by Britain first memes about "Christmas being cancelled". Tommy Robinson has found Christianity and is hosting 'carol sing along's' to save 'british culture' funny you know.....

This is what I was thinking.
There will be an element of racism involved somewhere.
Who talks about the level of family blood ties at Christmas?

Your brother is a racist. I’d be the one keeping him away from my family, never mind what he allows.

I replied saying that she is my family and our baby’s sibling.. he said “it’s not fair on the proper children of the family who are blood relatives”.

Ask him when the rule was made that says only blood relatives can come at Christmas, and whether he's broken it to his wife that therefore she's not coming.

Also ask him how it's unfair on his children, and whether he thinks it would be fair on your stepdaughter to leave her at home.

But you’re not being "pushed out". Your brother is a fool and is pushing himself and his immediate family out. Let’s hope your mum stands firm and tells him in no uncertain terms that he’s being ridiculous.

Theres no affair. I have no idea how ppl on the thread have connected the way the brother has acted over the step child with that being linked to an affair!
The average persone who suspects their bil of having an affair would probably not be nasty towards a child, his anger would be aimed at the husband. Some posters have made a connection with money or inheritance which sounds more like what the issue could be connected to.

I can’t help but feel OP is being disingenuous - that this protest has arisen around ‘Christmas’ which is not part of the DH and poss DSD’s faith has to be the centre of the issue. DB is either bing Islamophobic/antisemitic… or racist and I think OP knows this as she has been coy about addressing the fact this has been raised/asked multiple times on this thread.

What a dickhead. Your poor parents!