Brother has said he will stop contact between his kids and my stepdaughter over Christmas invite

Agree the will is irrelevant because, unless OP’s parents have mentioned changing their wills to add DSD, she will not inherit. She’d have to be expressly named in a will or formerly adopted by OP to have a legal claim.

Add, as far as we know, there may be no money to leave as we have no idea how wealthy OP’s parents are. Total red herring.

Loads of people have absolutely no idea how inheritance works. And it can be done differently. I agree if it’s done in the standard way it should make no difference at all. But it seems still to me to be the most likely driver.

I am guessing because OP only married DH in January - as she is being evasive it is hard to know for certain, but I am guessing that DH and DSD may not have been present at the family gathering last Christmas?

We are all surmising as she is being coy.

But why would that be an issue all of a sudden?

The child had lived with OP for a couple of years and the DB has not had an issue this entire time.

Read all of the OP’s comments - didn’t read everyone else’s.

The OP deliberately isn’t mentioning what religion or race. The brother is obviously bigoted. It’s nothing to do with the will; most parents leave their money to their kids. Mine have.

Not always. My family have always treated me and my half sibling equally. As soon as he married my mum he wrote a will to include his "step" daughter but he has always and will always count her as his daughter.

Don't most peoole leave any inheritance to their actual children?
And grandchildren benefit indirectly?

I would guess money is at the bottom of this. It's a very strong motive. He may be making incorrect assumptions, but that wouldn't make such a motive less strong.

Or the religious aspect has now manifested overtly - is your DSD now wearing a hijab or some other overt religious symbol that your brother strongly disagrees with?

Well he isnt great either way is he, but the point is why now? Whats different now?

The political discourse has changed to some degree which is most obvious thing amid speculation of affairs and secret children.

Maybe he is just a vile man - nothing cultural at all

Your brother sounds vile. I'm so sorry. I suspect like others it's racists/religious based issues on his part. But I'm glad your parents aren't listening to his complete and utter bullshit either.

My immediate reaction is that he doesn’t want to be around DSD in case she says anything - could he possibly be having an affair with her mum?

You can’t go from being ok with someone to all of a sudden not wanting to be around them, especially a child!

I think just carry on as you are. You still go to your mums, she's still comes over, you invite your niece/nephew to things you host and as a family you shun anything DSD isnt invited to.

I'd probably go out of my way to host more to piss him off.

I’ve no advice, but just wanted to say, you sound like a fabulous mum.
Your DSD and DH are lucky to have you and I’ve no doubt in years to come DSD will know she’s loved and protected.

lol

I can only suspect jealousy and your DD step dd is being favoured over his DC.
He has seen a difference in warmth etc and how she's treated and he doesn't like it
Possibly also inheritance issues

Once again, how have you not just asked him why he’s doing this? As opposed to all this speculation?

This might be totally left field but is it possible that DB has a secret child? I'm just thinking if he's projecting (as is usually the case with these types of behaviours) is it possible he doesn't like how you've all accepted DSD because he fears if you were to find out, you would be horrified/try to treat the child like family in which case he'd have no escape from accountability? He'd also not be able to use the excuse that they aren't really family to avoid socialising his children together.

I'd ask him to explain the 'not fair' comment, how is having a 5 Yr old at dinner not fair to his children? And where does he propose the child go instead given she lives with you? And is he seriously thinking that you, your DH and your child together attend Xmas dinner at your parents for the next however many years while their older sibling gets sent off to wherever he thinks they should be instead?
If you hadn't been able to conceive and adopted a child would he feel the same?

Horrible man , she is family

You said you were 'raised in Italy', what does that mean, that you're white British but raised in Italy, that you're white Italian and raised in Italy, that you're not white British but raised in Italy, or not white Italian and raised in Italy

There definitely is something cultural going on with the brother here isnt there, he's gone off his rocker about 'blood' family and whatever that means.

We are not asking you to share this information - we are asking why you are apparently being obtuse in not acknowledging that your brother may have an issue with your DSD (and therefore your DH) because of his race/religion. Christmas is a time when these differences are accentuated - but you are seemingly being wilfully dismissive that this is what underlies your DBro’s behaviour.

We can’t advise otherwise. We have no idea whether your family are wealthy, whether your parents are likely to change their wills in favour of your DSD etc it is all very remote and unlikely to be the catalyst for DBro’s behaviour now. What is more likely is that Christmas [as a largely white, European, Christian cultural event], your pregnancy [with a mixed race child?], and possible exposure to increasingly right wing media reports are shaping his behaviour. But you don’t want to see this.

cut your brother out, he’s a c**t!