Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

The question with this though is how old the child was when the mother had to leave, a one year old girl example would have a habitual residence but an unborn child won't because they've never lived anywhere yet. I just looked up habitual residence and it means somewhere you have to lived for a set period of time and so an unborn or newborn won't qualify.

I'm sure the couple know they have the option of termination. Apparently they have rejected it.

I'm just saying that the suggestion doesn't need to come from the mother who presumably has already educated her son enough that he is aware of the options.

I really think that if my mother had suggested a termination for any of my babies I'd have told her that given how little she values them, she shouldn't be involved with them. I don't think I could ever forget that she thought they shouldn't exist.

I would keep my mouth zipped and ask, at most, what their plans are going forward. Then my job is to respect whatever decision they have made.

This is why it's not wrong to suggest termination at this point as that's going to ruin the lives of everyone involved including the child who would be left with a penniless young father who wasn't with the mother that long and the kid would have to deal with being obviously different, having a mother that walked away from them and having an origin and culture they can't learn anything about, a whole side of a family they don't know.

This isn't time to be in your high horses about abortion, you would be placing your beliefs far high above the actual people whose lives would be destroyed by a very foolish birth! This is likely to be a very complicated, very stressful and very expensive legal battle that nobody benefits from least of all the poor baby. A sensible mother is better than an anti abortionist mother! I had a friend once who was left pretty mentally damaged by an anti abortionist mother who made her keep a pregnancy resulting from a teenage one night stand! The kid never had a great life, very little money and he always craved a father figure.

I assume if the son is gifting the news, that they have decided to keep the baby. Yes, it's up to the couple, but I know I'd never have forgiven anyone who suggested this would be an option for a baby of mine. Or a grandparent who thought their grandchild via me should be terminated. That tells me all I need to know about the value they put on my child.

I know of one such circumstance, very similar to this. As soon as the woman told her family she was told to get rid of it and pretend it never happened. Left a heartbroken father in its wake. Wonder if this woman has told her family yet?

Might be easier just to get a termination.

Yes, but I asked if there was any evidence to back up her claim/opinion.

*mathanxiety8

You normally give very good advice. I cannot imagine leaving a baby with the father and going to another country, under any circumstances. I really hope she does not consider that, for everyone's sake.

I wonder if she even intends telling her parents.

The easiest way for her to solve her problems and start making the money her education promised would be for her to leave her baby with its father (for father, read 'granny') and return to Korea without telling anyone there. It would be a wrench for her, but Korean society is not very forgiving of unwed motherhood.

You might be upset and that's your right - but in certain circumstances family might ask if all options had been considered

I'm not suggesting for one minute that they need to have a termination due to the circumstances they find themselves in - but none of this is going to be easy. He's 20 - potentially no job and no means of supporting this child -and is expecting his mum to take them in

Both of them need to consider how they are going to support this child and where they are going to live - soon

That's up to you - but none of us know that the gf actually wants to keep the baby. Just because the bf has handed over a positive pregnancy test to the family means very little - it's the couples choice - either way

I would imagine a termination has already been considered. And rejected. I agree @ByPoisedRaven
That of I were expecting a baby and my mum suggested a termination I would be very upset.

I would never forgive my mother if she even suggested we consider a termination for our baby/her grandchild.

If I were the OP I'd be asking my son if he and the girlfriend had considered termination.

No what ? It’s an opinion, based on info OP has given, and if you look back through the thread several posters have said the same.

I didn't do a masters as I said above

It’s entirely normal for a one year masters course to consist of two terms of teaching, with the dissertation being written over the summer and submitted in September.

Since they raised the minimum income from £18k to £29k, it no longer increases with children.

I didn't do an Msc - post graduate diploma although I appreciate Msc timetables will be different at some unis

You tit.

My MSc ran Sept- Sept. So did DH’s, both were structured Sept-April, teaching; May, exams; June-Aug, Dissertation; Sept - viva.

So, no in other words

No idea - only going on OP’s info as posted.

I've personally never known a post grad to finish in September - I've done two. They generally run from Sept - June

Yes, she did, in her first post. I want so badly to be happy for him, but just feel he's far too young to be having a child with someone who'll be leaving the country come September.