Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

That's a bit of a leap though isn't it? Accidental pregnancy at 20 with one, versus 7 from 7 women.

It is relevant how OP’s parents reacted to her pregnancy at 17/18.

I can't help thinking the OP deliberately mentioned all their ages to prompt this question.

He's just repeating the family pattern of having babies early.

I don't think OP has answered this one yet but the circumstances could be totally different. I was pregnant at 18 but we had been together since school. This is a 6 month relationship which started online. I would also be worried if it was my son. Plus he could have told her privately especially if they are hoping to move in

To all the people commenting "what did your parents say when you were pregnant at 18?' 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
We all want better for our children, I had my son at 18, he is 14 now, he's bright, funny and talented and the last thing I want is for him to end up a young parent, I don't regret him in any way whatsoever but I always want the best for him, and statistically young parents don't stay together which usually means the dad ends up a weekend dad, I want my son to experience things, be financially stable before settling down and having a family. I'm pretty sure OP is seeing things the same.

You don't know my relative. He started out exactly as this young man did.

@mathanxiety he thought getting this woman pregnant

He did not "get this woman pregnant." The woman was also a participant.

It's the 'thought process' of a relative of mine, who has a total of seven children now, with seven different women. He does not see most of the children as the mothers rightly got tired of his shit. His career as a begetter of babies started in university and continued into his 40s.

A man who has children with 7 different women, then leaves each one, is an asshole.

A woman who chooses to have a child with a man who has already left multiple women is on a whole other level of stupidity.

This can't be real can it?

He didn't "get her pregnant" it takes two to become pregnant and both parties are equally responsible for making sure it doesn't happen if they don't want it to.

Lol.

If you think he and she and the baby will get a warm welcome from her family in Korea, think again.

Your relative’s experience is so wildly different from what’s happening here ffs

It's weird that he thinks his child is somehow a gift for you. Wrong on many levels

Yes it will be hard but generally the response you should give someone (especially your offspring) when they are facing a hard situation is 'how can I help?' not 'well don't expect any help from me'.

I was thinking this too. Especially if he isn't getting the support of his mother.

I wouldn't let them move in with you either.

Your son has behaved really badly, and I would like to know why he thought getting this woman pregnant in under a year of seeing each other, and springing the news of the pregnancy on you in this way were good ideas, along with the thought that they could all move in with you. It's all egregiously immature and selfish.

It's the 'thought process' of a relative of mine, who has a total of seven children now, with seven different women. He does not see most of the children as the mothers rightly got tired of his shit. His career as a begetter of babies started in university and continued into his 40s.

Let your son figure out how to support his baby and where the three of them will live, if you want to limit the number of grandchildren you'll end up with (and taking care of) by the time you're 45.

I can't believe there are women here who think any of this was ok.

Perhaps, not hand his mother a pissy stick over christmas dinner… 🤮

He'll likely be a graduate when the baby comes. Quite different from you barely having had chance to do a levels when you gave birth.

Were you never going to let him come home after uni, or just now he'll have a child?

Ok fair enough. I'll wait longer next time. My mistake

My son is sitting here studying final years of masters. He's been with his girlfriend six years. She's a lovely girl but they're as poor as church mice still with all the educational expenses plus personal ones. So I'd be worried . They've earned some fun and need to get financially secure before starting a family,

It's going to be a hard road for them to hoe coming from two different continents. They've only been together six months.

I can see why you’d be concerned. Perhaps your worried about history repeating itself, especially if you found it difficult with having your son young.

However, there are worse things in the world than babies, and s/he’s coming whether you like it or not. Your behaviour now will dictate how involved you want to be in your first grandchild’s life.

She just overreacted to a shock. Too harsh.

Fingers crossed it all works out for them
Sorry that you are having to deal with this OP, a roller coaster of emotions

Yeah if she got pregnant at 17 why can't this other woman do it nine years later?

This. Talk about hypocritical.