Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

Ouch, but yes, a pretty relevant point!

No, it fucking isn't. That was 20 thousand years ago.

Yea, OP, I would be worried and shows how immature your son is.

God, sorry, Horrendous situation....

The line stays readable for a long while . ask me how I know .
My DC are in their twenties , I still have the sticks - still readable

I don't give them as presents though !

I would have thought that the attitude in Korea to unmarried women, wouldn’t be conducive to them going there in the near future?

Yes, I’d be concerned for the future, job situation, etc. Even if he gets a graduate job immediately, he’s unlikely to earn enough to support his partner and child.

i think I’d have to agree to let them move in- but only temporarily. I think I’d be resigned to temporarily might turn into a long time unfortunately. Either that or benefits. Which might be the better option actually. What a mess.

I would be beyond shocked but you both owe one another an apology. Telling you as a surprise gift in front of others was completely insensitive..but most 20 yo guys are dufuses..which probably lends to your trepidation of his starting a family so young. However, you (and possibly his father) managed and while everything costs far more now, he'll manage..and hopefully step up to this major life challenge so young...but asking to live with you points towards not being that self sufficient yet. 2 sides to every coin. But telling you like that reeks of my father proposing to my mother (I wasnt in the picture yet) in front of his whole family at xmas...NOT. COOL. Just have a heart to heart AND a girls lunch w baby mama

Pretty crass wrapping it up as a present but that's a twenty year old for you. I wonder if he is planning on settling down with her as if not he most likely would not have announced it like this.

Wouldn’t be ideal but who knows what he can achieve, a pregnancy is 9months we don’t know how long is left on his course or the women’s.

Renting your home isn’t always the worst thing in the world. As long as they between them can get a stable income and rent a house or flat.

I just don’t think you can have a baby at 17/18 yourself then be shocked and judgmental when your own children possibly follow the same.

Ops son is 20 and the girlfriend is 26 so she’s likely got her head screwed on a lot more than op or myself did when we were both having our first babies.

Is no one going to challenge the science here? Are you saying he gave you the actual test that his girlfriend had peed on, presumably a day or two previously? There’s a reason they tell you to look within a certain time frame. I call absolute bs on this post.

Precisely. No one is asking if she even wants the baby let alone what her family thinks

You mean you were looking for racism where none exists ?

Why are you so disparaging of what she’s studying, OP? I assume she’s achieving more academically than you did, at least at her age.

Well you were a teenage mum so . . .

Let them get on with it .

Is this even real ?

I saw a YouTube short of something where the young bloke phones his Mum , tells her his older GF is pregnant , she's been inside , etc cannot remember the rest .
Then tells her he's kidding but he broke the cars headlight ( or some ither shite )

His GF wasn't there at Christmas .
They haven't met her
Then he says "Can we live here?"

Bit of a kidder is he ?

And has the OP come back ....?

Her being an international student would be a huge worry for me personally.

@Rosscameasdoody Surely both parties are equally as active ? If a woman does not want to become pregnant contraception is easily available. Laying all the blame at the door of the man is infantilising women and suggesting they are incapable of control over their own bodies.

Correct, but unfortunately there is no shortage of misogyny on mumsnet.

If it were me, it's not the news itself but the means of delivering it. Why do people turn everything into a social media opportunity - dying child, first puppy, a beautiful Alzehimer's moment, etc?!

I suppose you just have to cut him some slack that he grew up in a different world where this sort of shit is normal.

She is currently here on a student visa. She can apply for a graduate visa which lasts 2 years at the moment.months. The baby would receive a visa for the same length of time, but wouldn't automatically be a British citizen.

The fun starts after 2 years as she would need a skilled worker visa, earning at least £41,700. Obviously this would be tricky with a toddler in the mix by then, especially in the current graduate job market.

Surely both parties are equally as active ? If a woman does not want to become pregnant contraception is easily available. Laying all the blame at the door of the man is infantilising women and suggesting they are incapable of control over their own bodies.

Her being an international student is, surely

The seven women could easily have used contraception. It takes two idiots.

I would be beyond shocked but you both owe one another an apology. Telling you as a surprise gift in front of others was completely insensitive..but most 20 yo guys are dufuses..which probably lends to your trepidation of his starting a family so young. However, you (and possibly his father) managed and while everything costs far more now, he'll manage..and hopefully step up to this major life challenge so young...but asking to live with you points towards not being that self sufficient yet. 2 sides to every coin. But telling you like that reeks of my father proposing to my mother (I wasnt in the picture yet) in front of his whole family at xmas...NOT. COOL. Just have a heart to heart AND a girls lunch w baby mama

Why am I offended? Just genuinely checking that wasn’t her issue

Well he is 20...

I mean you clearly had a child at 18 so it’s a tad unreasonable to be furious. And also what exactly can you do about it? This child is going to be born either way so shouldn’t try and least support them?

Oh dear. Looks like you and your DS have equally disappointed each other.
Unfortunately he can't undo his part, so if you want to move forward, you're going to have to find a way to undo yours.
Personally I'd offer him some positivity and the support he was expecting. If you don't want them living with you, then that's fine, but help to find somewhere and some level of welcome for his new family wouldn't be unreasonable.

To those people virtue signalling about how the OP was treated at 18 when she fell pregnant, did you never do anything stupid when you were younger that you would probably hit the roof if your own kids did the same now because you’ve been there and know what it was like?

A pregnancy at 18 or within five minutes of being together isn’t something to celebrate. yes it might work out, but chances are it won’t, she’ll bugger off at the end of her degree which she probably won’t finish now anyway, and he’ll never see them again.

Anyone who thinks that giving a pregnancy test as a surprise to their mum when they’ve only been seeing someone for six months is bloody immature and naive if they thought that the person would be happy about it.

TBH I am always dubious of these couples who fall pregnant within five minutes of getting together. Funny how it doesn’t happen that often to established couples, have these people never heard of contraception?

TBH I’d be wondering if she got pregnant for a visa.