Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

No I don't think you are. He could have presented the news in a much better way - how is he expecting to move in with you her and the baby if she's having to return home when her degree ends?

She's an international student and there will be pretty strict conditions regarding her visa and right to remain. The OP said in her post that she's having to return home in September

Contraception can fail. A friend of mine got pregnant while on the pill. Condoms aren't 100 per cent effective and they can split

Yes, condoms are cheap and easily available. So the fact that she did not use one means she played the active role in the conception of this baby.

This. Unless he raped or stealthed her, consenting to sex without the use of a condom makes her an equal participant in the conception of this baby!

Personal question op, but you were 17/18 when pregnant. How old was your kids dad and is he still around? Could this be colouring your judgement?
At first glance this sounds terrible and I'd be devastated if it was my son. But, you have to deal with the reality of the situation and frankly, I don't think you're doing that very well, at least not yet.

Dear @Becc91

i agree that was very tactless of your son and not a good way to present such big news.

He isn't running away from this situation however. . It sounds like termination wasn't an option so there will be a baby in your lives now.

My suggestion would be that you speak to him more reasonably. Ask to meet his GF and also arrange a call with her family.

Help guide them on the options post birth - do they both want to keep the baby, if so what are their plans? What are your son's plans for earning money? And hers? Do they want to stay in education? Universities offer support here for young families.

It could be disastrous, he could turn out to be another deadbeat father who has nothing to do with the baby OR it could be the making of him - the love and responsibility he may feel.

No one knows!! But what I do know is that talking, guiding, listening to the couple now at this stage is important.

I wouldn't assume that at all. South Korea is a brilliant country although not too sympathetic to single mothers.

I wonder if your son presented it publicly because he was worried about your reaction and thought you'd be less likely to kick off if told in public?

He’ll be swiftly changing his mind when reality hits and uni student life goes out the window

He already showed he’s nowhere near mature enough by suggesting they could all just move in with his mum once their degrees wrap up

I have to say if this thread is real it is extremely outing for the pregnant girlfriend

It’s a lot to take in, especially in public.

South Korea isn't a great place for women, there's a reason it has the lowest (or one of the lowest) birthrate in the world.
This article gives some really interesting background.

www.feministcurrent.com/2020/06/15/the-south-korean-womens-movement-we-are-not-flowers-we-are-a-fire/

I wonder if she is hoping to stay in the UK. So long as she wants to stay with your son, (and he with her) so they can be a family then that will be for the best and whilst I too would be furious and disappointed, all you can do now is help make the best of the situation.

If she's done this to get UK residency and plans on moving on from your son once her situation is secure that will be a bit shit all round and I hope this isn't the case

This is a massive shock and the way the news has been shared backed you into a corner so I can understand why you are so upset.

but - if there’s going to be a baby how you manage the situation moving forwards is so so important so you don’t lose DS & DGC. I would be apologising for initial reaction to the news and saying yes of course you can move in when degrees are finished. Whether that happens or not in the end they will need the security of knowing you have their backs.

imagine how you’d feel if your DD was pregnant in Korea and had nowhere to live? I’d imagine for all his bravado your son is feeling scared too.

btw Innovation is one of the flagship degrees at UoB, it is very much about training young people to be entrepreneurs and popular with employers.

Did the GF give the DS the test stick as his early present and he decided this was so adorable he'd pass this on ?

Oh right.

Live sometimes conquers all. But often it doesn't.

Yes but doesn’t it depend more on how they feel about each other than any of that? It sounds like OPs son actually wants to be a father based on how he’s behaved.

Because they barely know each other, come from vastly different cultures, will be under huge family stress on both sides, have apparently given the visa situation no thought, are expecting OP to sort the mess out, and DS's idea of adapting to his partner's culture is downloading Duolingo once he discovers she is pregnant.

He clearly thought she’d be thrilled to bits. How wrong he was.

I suspect he didnt have the balls to tell her.

Like a creepy public proposal, to force her hand in reacting.

It is also pretty likely that they will split up even if she stays in the UK.
What makes you think that?

I'm baffled as to how he came to think that wrapping up a used pregnancy test in Christmas paper and then encouraging his Mum to open it as her present from him, while the rest of the family watched, was a nice thing to do.

I feel for you, OP.

He could have bought something nice like earrings or your favourite perfume and then told you his news later.

Well she’s the one making issue of having a baby young. That’s literally what her OP is about.

Is the baby due before or after her student visa expires?
The baby could get British citizenship through your son, but that doesn't extend to her having a right to stay in the uk. She can apply for a family visa which is a onerous and exoensive task in itself, but they need to be earning about £30 k a year to support her. Similarly your ds would need to meet income requirements to get a Korean visa
A 26 year old woman knows how to stop babies coming- visa baby for sure!!

She is on a student visa. It is pretty likely she will have to leqve. It is also pretty likely that they will split up even if she stays in the UK.