Horror at sons "special" christmas present?

Lots of posters doing the same thing. Stupid knee jerk reaction and shows a lack of critical thinking.

She's pregnant that changes everything.

Nope. None of the above. The girl is not OP’s DiL - they’ve never even met and she and DS are not in a long term relationship. There is no discussion to be had around full time childcare - OP isn’t responsible for the shit mess these two have created. I wouldn’t be rolling with it, and I certainly wouldn’t be housing them.

She'll be fine she will get housed here so op don't have to worry.

That sounds like something my daughter mighht do but I am preparing her for the world so she can't come with that fuckery to me.

My parents would not entertain me coming home with a baby in their house. I had to sort myself out with my partner.

Agree, and totally irrelevant to boot !!

Yes she can. She can object to being told that they are all coming to Iive with her

Why is it hypocritical to not want your son to make the same mistakes you did ? OP’s son gave OP the pregnancy test as a ‘gift’ and made her open it in company, thus ensuring a suitable response which would then pave the way for him asking could all three of them live with her when the baby’s born. Disrespectful, manipulative, controlling and totally out of order. OP’s never laid eyes on the girl and she’s an overseas student due back in her home country not long after the baby is born. It’s a car crash and I can’t see any reason why OP would be happy about any aspect of the situation. They both sound feckless and immature - great potential parents.

I was going to say about you must of been a young mum yourself! I’m 38 my daughter is 19 and I was 19 when I had her. You can’t really say much because it would be hypocritical.

That’s what I thought.

She's doing a post grad. She'll be finished this year

They both sound immature. If they are going to have a baby then they need to make plans about where to live, how they are going to provide for it etc, not expect you to step in and house/support them. It’s not your responsibility.

And the age you were when you had a child is totally irrelevant.

I agree @Roobarbtwo . This smacks of an immature child who thought they might escape a reaction they didn’t want if they did this publicly.

I think judging is probably ok in this instance! You both know how hard it can be, and most of us tend to want more for our children than we had / have for ourselves. I would assume that most people who became parents in their teens would not wish that for their own child.
Similarly the fact that he is having a child with someone he is not in a long-term relationship with, and who is (presumably) non-resident in the uk comes with a host of additional difficulties. OP, no advice except try and be honest me supportive of your son, make sure he understands his options and wishing you all the very best.

If it was me and ds was over 18 I'd voice my concerns once and only once. The baby is coming now so that can't be changed. It's happened. I'd not risk pissing off my dil on day 1.

I'd say that you will talk about them moving post graduation at that point but won't be financially supporting them or free childcare to set expectations from day 1.

I don't know Korean culture, but in a lot of cultures you as GM would be expected to do full time childcare. So that needs to be discussed.

How will she have the baby and study? Uni creche? My ds said its very normal to hear baby's crying in his lectures. He is at a RG uni.

It might be a terrible choice but it's his choice and it's made. All you do now really is roll with it. I'd be shocked too.

Well yes, she's an international student who by the sounds of the post could well be returning to her home country after her studies. Leave to remain isn't ever guaranteed even if she intends to, especially not in the current political climate.

I get where you’re coming from, age doesn’t really come into this on his side or yours. What matters is he’s in uni, she’s over here until September, and it seems to me that either she hasn’t told her parents yet or if she has they have hit the roof, and he’s trying to get the lay of the land where you’re concerned saying they can both move in.
when does he finish uni? He best be finding somewhere for them to live, expecting that they can move in with you and bring a baby up under your roof is quite a step to take, and not one he’s thought through. I think your first step is to get her around and find out what her parents have said and if either you or them are in a position to help them.

Not like that. Wrapping up a pregnancy test and asking his mum to open it in front of the family. Fuck all cute about that

Not really, millions of people surprise their parents with the announcement through cute gifts.

If anything it shows he is comfortable with his life choice, happy and thought he would be 'supported' in his happiness by his mother... sad the later isn't true.

Not your business on any level

Surely this is a way of her staying here and not returning to Korea

There wasn't the complication for OP of the babies father being from Korea and having zero rights to stay here! She is legally here just to study, what happens if it's a bad pregnancy and she can't even finish studying, she'll be booted out the UK even quicker! How can you be in such denial about the vast differences in situations?

a SON can still be a cunt you know. In fact every male wanker, cunt and arsehole I have ever met has been someones SON.

Whats your point again?

Given all everyone has said about it being shameful to be a single mother in South Korea, it's possible that the pregnancy won't go ahead when she tells her family. I do know of one such situation where the parents were told, the overseas family said it was shameful and told the woman (in her late 20s to early 30s) to terminate the pregnancy, so she did.