To think most psychiatrists are quite cold

Ime they’re no different from any type of medical specialist who’s been through all those years of medical school and training. You get ones with good bedside manners, and ones without.

They’re not counsellors or therapists, who can ‘practise’ without any qualifications at all - and even they shouldn’t necessarily be warm. None of these people are friends. They’re service providers doing what they do as a job.

Ive had two lovely ones, the rest have been pretty awful.

The best psychiatrist we had was the warmest and that was under CAMHS.

I totally agree op and actually think with AI they’re increasingly not needed given how little they give bar medication info you can get online.

I have autistic adult children who have had severe mental health difficulties, crisis and a lot of psychiatric input. CAMHs psychiatrists who weren’t perfect were a whole lot more informed, holistic and helpful. Adult services without exception are dire. They give next to nothing and certainly no more than you can find out online yourself. Some are actually negligent and utterly ignorant re autism which given how prevalent mental health struggles are with autism and how autistic people are supposedly supposed to need careful handling with meds is frankly a disgrace.

What is the point of vastly overpaid, ignorant professionals basically giving little more than knowledge of meds you can get online? If they gave more then maybe they’d be worth it but they don’t.

Why did you need to see a pyschiatrist? Most autistic people won’t see on unless they also have signifigant mental health problems.

I had an excellent psychiatrist fo 12 years and she was “cold” in that she was dispassionate and thoughtful. I needed a medical professional, not a mother substitute.

I used to do a similar role where, even with clinical supervision to manage the possibility of vicarious trauma, you needed to shove your own personal reactions deep down to be able to do your job effectively.
Sometimes I just about got back into the office before falling apart on a colleague. Sometimes if I was doing work in the community I bawled in the car on the way back to the office base.
I hope that I was always warm and welcoming and helped people to feel safe in our sessions. Even though I was holding a professional front and maintaining boundaries. Probably I didn't always manage it, especially towards the end of the day or week.

Exactly. Like the person who repairs your heart valve or does your bowel resection.

They’re not there to be warm to you, they are there to clinically assess you and recommend treatment.

They’re medical professionals, with exactly the same training as an orthopaedic surgeon or anaesthetist but a different specialism. If you don’t expect the person who treats your MS or reconstructs your shattered pelvis to be overflowing with the warm and fuzzies, then don’t expect it from a psychiatrist.

The people who expect them to be warm and cuddly are usually people who have confused them with their idea of what therapists are like — but my therapist is a reserved person and quite steely in manner. She’s also completely brilliant and working with her has been transformative. She’s not supposed to be my best friend!

I expect its the training. They have to remain neutral and objective and not get bogged down with emotions or they can't do their job.

I've never seen a psychiatrist who's been warm, fuzzy and sympathetic, offering me hugs and a shoulder to cry on. They were polite but were very keen to maintain boundaries I assume to ensure i never mistook them for a friend during my most vulnerable times. Their job was to check the state of me and make sure my pills were working

If you want something warmer then perhaps a therapist might be something to try?

I don't have much direct experience of psychiatrists, but a relative of mine was a therapist for many years, and emphasised the importance of never meeting clients socially, for example, taking great care to prevent this from happening accidentally where possible. They are not there to be the patient's friend, and it's part of keeping the professional distance. While they might appear to be cold and uninterested, they are actually listening very intently, and choosing their own words very carefully.

No they aren't. Some will be as they are human and everyone is different. It isnt normal for a 9 year old to see a Psychiatrist which would suggest you have fairly severe mental health issues.

They are trained professionals and thus they need to be detached. They're not there to sympathise with patients, or to gush all over them.

I think it depends entirely on their personalities. Mine isn’t cold at all and I know the he cares deeply about his patients within the boundaries of what is professionally appropriate.

I imagine they have to practice a significant degree of detachment when treating their patients, otherwise they would spend all day being deeply distressed. So might come across as cold as a result.

I have limited experience, but of the three I have seen very briefly, one came across as cold and uncaring, but the other two certainly weren't.

Are you expecting them to be your best mate or something? If they were an orthopaedic consultant or a cardiologist would warmth be obligatory? A certain level of professional distance is required to avoid unhealthy dependence. If you’ve had a psychiatrist since the age of 9 then I’m afraid to say that it might be your own attachment issues that are the problem.

I don’t think so. It might come across that way because they need to delve deep not just appease people.