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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Anyone else having Christmas with non big eaters?

93 replies

AlertDuck · 27/12/2025 11:18

I mean I’m not a massive eater myself so I’m not one to talk. But it’s hard to word but I feel kind feel left out of the opulence you hear of with food over Christmas. No one in my family is a huge eater. A part from one of my BILs. It’s actually sort of annoying. I’ve wanted to bake and just indulge. But tbh so much goes to waste.

For example i made cinnamon rolls for breakfast. They went down a treat. Mostly finished. I planned to do absolutely tiny amuse bouche but everyone said don’t bother they are still full. So we just had the main meal. The homemade apple pie and cheesecake was 90% left even though they were insanely delicious. No one is a competitive under eater or has food issues. The cheese board stayed in the fridge. So many people bought/made treats like shortbread, mince pies. Chocolates were bought and they’re just all untouched. What on earth!

I’ve frozen a lot of it. But I don’t know I’m just a tad annoyed that people don’t really indulge.

I don’t think it’s necessarily a choice. People were genuinely stuffed after the main large meal. We had plenty of alcoholic drinks too

Anyone else have family like this?

OP posts:
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Merlinis · 28/12/2025 08:53

We have a lot but spend a few days eating left overs!

Bjorkdidit · 28/12/2025 08:48

No one is ever really up for pudding if we’ve had a decent sized meal. That can’t be normal

But that absolutely is normal. Unless you're catering for gluttons you'd be daft to expect people to want pudding after a massive roast and possibly a starter.

We often have a 3 course Christmas lunch over a few hours to serve as lunch and dinner for the day.

As others have said, if you have a 'list' of Christmas foods you want to cook and serve, do it over a few days, starting before Christmas and running into the new year.

But also be realistic about what people will eat. If you're putting food out for a crowd, don't expect just a few people to make much of a dent in it.

bumphousebump · 28/12/2025 08:30

When I was growing up the treats at Christmas were fizzy drinks, a tub of quality street, a selection box and home made mince pies and a Fortnum's Christmas pudding. We were well off but there wasn’t a huge feast….

bleakmidwintering · 28/12/2025 01:57

This year we haven’t eaten half of what we bought. I had one glass of alcohol on Christmas Day and it felt great to be honest. It’s ridiculous everyone eats so much.

theunbreakablecleopatrajones · 28/12/2025 01:16

I don't think we eat as much as we used to, and we aren't even that old. A bit more health conscious perhaps.

But we've never tried to stuff so much into one day - we just have normal breakfast on C'mas day (or brunch). No first course for Christmas dinner, although do have some olives and nuts with fizz. Some people will have a v small helping of pudding after. A fair bit of attacking the cheeseboard in the later evening. Not a lot of chocolate.

The stollen, cake and mince pies will get eaten slowly over a couple weeks.

MySilentLions · 28/12/2025 01:02

Cricketashes · 27/12/2025 16:31

Yes this is me and my family. There are a few threads on here about massive breakfasts and people eating 8-10 roast potatoes each. They make me feel sick just thinning about them.

I commented on a thread that my teen can easily eat 8-10 roast potatoes at a meal, and he can, but he’s very active and still growing. It’s hardly the same as chubby menopausal me!
By 8-10. I mean “AuntBessie” prepared sized ones so maybe 3/4 large potatoes cut in to half/thirds if home made. As I saw there was a debate over the size issue too!

Clonakilla · 27/12/2025 19:35

I have a great appetite, enjoy food and am happy to indulge. I feel very glad I don’t have a small appetite - I’d struggle to eat enough vegetables, for example, with a small appetite.

However I can see that I have so many things now that I would have thought of as incredible treats as a child that the concept of a treat is not the same. We didn’t have a takeaway once in my childhood, for example. That’s what changed for me - I’ve been lucky to become more prosperous than my parents and so I live a more indulgent life generally.

Enigma54 · 27/12/2025 18:30

All your food sounds lovely OP, genuinely delicious. However, myself and partner have small appetites and can’t eat much either ( we share half a chicken and 2 sides at Nando’s!) Eating until I’m full, makes me feel a bit uncomfortable ( physically).

TheWytch · 27/12/2025 18:29

Very much the same here.

I've sent my Christmas guests home with huge chunks of Christmas cake, bags of cold turkey and lots of other food that will go off if not eaten. The nuts are all but untouched and I'll probably put them out for the squirrels when I get sick of seeing them.

I won't be buying anymore cheese for weeks.

Several boxes of chocolates and fancy biscuits will find their way to a local homeless charity collection point in the next coupe of days. We simply won't eat them.

ByronKoala · 27/12/2025 18:25

Not everyone has an unhealthy relationship with food, OP. I eat (lovely things) until I’m full. I don’t feel the need to stuff myself to the brim in order to ‘indulge’.

Crikeyalmighty · 27/12/2025 18:22

@EmeraldRoulette yep I was careful too - a lot of this was stuff that was given - you are right, when I get back I will pop it to the food bank - and someone that hopefully will appreciate it

bumphousebump · 27/12/2025 18:18

We’ve got loads of pudding left. And other nice stuff. There wasn’t a huge amount eaten. The cheese was untouched and we hadn’t gone overboard….

EmeraldRoulette · 27/12/2025 17:50

@Crikeyalmighty just give it to the food bank

I've also lost weight so was really careful about what I ate and bought.

if it's not in the cupboard, I can't eat it.

When I lived in London, I could literally walk two steps out of the building and buy it. Now I can't. Which is a big help.

Crikeyalmighty · 27/12/2025 17:43

I’m finding it really annoying as I’ve been on a diet since April and lost2 stone but now have a cupboard with biscuits, cake, crisp type snacks, fridge has lots of cheese, crackers , we are going to g away for6 days on 29th but a lot of this isn’t freezable kind of stuff so will be sat there when I get back - tempting to just food bank some of it , as I would rather not have it there and feel guilty that we have so much ( a lot of it are hamper gifts too) when others don’t -

AmyDuPlantier · 27/12/2025 17:33

I’m like this. Prawn cocktail starter and then half a dozen pigs in blankets and I was done. My stomach shrank after an operation years ago and there’s only so much I can eat now.

Leavesandthings · 27/12/2025 17:31

AlertDuck · 27/12/2025 11:44

I am a baker so I’m sure that comes into play. Christmas and food just go hand in hand. I guess I feel like I’m missing out a bit. Which I know is very silly but it’s how I feel.

Edited

Maybe you can shift your thinking and enjoy baking lovely stuff for people for different occasions over the festive period, rather than focusing on one day.
Really nice desserts would be a nice gift throughout December!
I do this because in my family/life we don't do much food wise, except literally the Christmas dinner.

EastEndQueen · 27/12/2025 16:58

I understand OP, feasting is a big love language for me. I nearly cried last year when I I assembled a really lovely buffet spread for friends we don’t see a lot and they texted on the way to say ‘btw, on the jab, probably won’t really eat’.

Luckily DH likes his food but I think as others have said, spreading it out through the season is the answer. I often have a ‘4 for 3’ deal on party food a few times in December as a Sunday or Friday night treat supper and I will bring the chocs and cake things into work a few times in the second half of Dec. Also worth thinking about limited stomach space and what is eaten and what is not. We realistically won’t get through puddings so don’t bother (I would love some old fashioned boozy custard and jelly trifle but realistically I would have a bowl and then it would look at me for a week in the fridge) whereas we will eat the cheeseboard and ham as dinner or lunch over 4-5 days. I also skip proper breakfast between Xmas and new year and just have some fruit and a little treat like a mince pie or a few chocs. Then I am hungry for special meals.

Redflagsabounded · 27/12/2025 16:39

I've come to appreciate quality over quantity. I love 3 or 4 delicious courses for Xmas dinner but it means you can't serve a massive main course. Or go overboard on the main course (also good) but then you can't expect people to eat other courses as well.

Givemeausernamepls · 27/12/2025 16:35

I love food but not in huge portions... I spread the treat things out over december. I've had a 'cheese board' on the go (just keep wrapping back up in cling film) since the 19th, still about 1/3 left... baking i share the love with friends and family so doesn't go to waste. Don't bother with pudding on xmas day as kids just want their chocs from santa and never got eaten.

Dancingsquirrels · 27/12/2025 16:31

AlertDuck · 27/12/2025 12:05

I think you just see recipes for things like cheese straws, vol au vents, trifle etc and want to do all of things. At least I do.

You could do a few of these during December, not all at once on Christmas day

Cricketashes · 27/12/2025 16:31

Yes this is me and my family. There are a few threads on here about massive breakfasts and people eating 8-10 roast potatoes each. They make me feel sick just thinning about them.

Hallywally · 27/12/2025 16:30

Such a stealth boast 🙄

Boomer55 · 27/12/2025 16:21

I can only eat a tiny amount. The family are used to me now and just serve up small meals to me. No hassle. 👍

Ministerofmumbles · 27/12/2025 16:17

AlertDuck · 27/12/2025 11:29

you just hear/see people laying out these amazing spreads and buffets. Presenting gorgeous platters etc and I think it seems like such a treat. I would love to do the same with my family as cooking is definitely my love language. But my family just aren’t up for it.

We did a Christmas Eve buffet. People made a decent stab but the homemade Yule log was barely touched! I made smaller portions but we had plenty of leftovers. I don’t know I must be a secret feeder. No one is ever really up for pudding if we’ve had a decent sized meal. That can’t be normal.

I do think a part of it is to do with social media. I see all the gorgeous content of comfort and indulgence and would love to recreate it for my lot. Food is definitely my love language.

I’d love to put out seafood platters, pate, cheese boards etc. But no one would touch it. We genuinely have most of the chocolate left. Homemade mince pies still knocking around after a few days. They were gorgeous!

Edited

Food was definitely my DMs love language too and no better time to indulge this than Christmas with her banquet style spreads.

The Delia Smith books would come out weeks beforehand and the kitchen would be a hive of activity. Cupboards packed to the brim with treats and the garage as back up!

Christmas day and the table would be so laden that it would be groaning with the weight of it all 😄 and it was amazing! We would eat until we were so stuffed and we couldn’t move and then we’d do it all again the next day. At least half a stones Weight gain was a given!

SusanChurchouse · 27/12/2025 15:58

I’m a grazer. I like to eat little and often. It’s a bit annoying if I go out for a meal and can’t eat half of it then find I’m hungry a few hours later. If anything I eat less on Christmas Day than I do normally because I'm less active so don’t feel hungry. I don’t eat meat or dairy so the Christmas meal is perfunctory for me if we go trad: basically potatoes and veg plus whatever I make myself that’s not beef (mushroom wellington this year). Obviously no cheese and limited chocolate.

I had a larger than normal breakfast, a few bits of party food, then my main meal at 5ish plus a few snacks in the evening.