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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Is this a bit crap or almost being a baby.

34 replies

Peclet · 27/12/2025 09:10

Or am I being a baby??

I’ve been ill since Christmas Eve. in bed feeling wretched.

Yesterday DH and DS went out for the day and stayed away and are home later today. This was a pre booked event. Dd has been home with me. DH is on hiswas home and has said him and DS are off our as soon as they get back to play football.

I feel so rough. And sorry for myself but also so sad for Dd who is bored. The football has been planned for ages. But I think DH could give it a miss to spend time with Dd.

AITA?

OP posts:
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Original poster
Peclet · 27/12/2025 14:47

Vipers is an old MN that although you’ll get your ass handed to you, it’s generally thought of as a good place with good advice. Tongue in cheek.

DH is back, dd has taken the dog out to meet a mate and get a drink together.

Thank you everyone for being sound. I feel hideous but hopefully tomorrow will be better!

OP posts:
JollyGreenSleeves · 27/12/2025 11:22

Eyeshadow · 27/12/2025 10:33

Usually when a poster calls MNers vipers, it is meant as an insult.

Show quote history

I would have assumed tongue in cheek in this instance.

Eyeshadow · 27/12/2025 10:33

JollyGreenSleeves · 27/12/2025 10:04

I think mumsnetters were once referred to as a ‘nest of vipers’. I don’t think the op was trying to insult anyone here.

But agree with the majority- you’re a good mum trying to please everyone even though you’re ill. Ask your dd how she feels about it. She might be enjoying the chance to do nothing.

Show quote history

Usually when a poster calls MNers vipers, it is meant as an insult.

Eyeshadow · 27/12/2025 10:32

How long has she not been out of the house?

She’ll be absolutely fine for a few days.
Surely she has gifts that she can be playing with from Xmas?

You seem to think you need to do paid activities to have a good time.
You don’t and you don’t even need to leave the house for a good time.

The fresh air may make you feel a bit better but don’t force yourself.
Your DD will be fine and DH can do things with just her when he’s back,

grinchmcgrinchface · 27/12/2025 10:16

the way you was going on I thought she was around 6-7 years old. Shes 13. YABU.

mamajong · 27/12/2025 10:14

I saw your DD is 13, has she not got new xmas stuff to entertain her? Can you do something lowkey together - watch a movie, hot choc station, gingerbread house? Play cards? A cake mix where you just an an egg or cornflake cakes? Video games? Facepacks? Painting?

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 27/12/2025 10:09

She's 13
She doesn't need Daddy staying at home to entertain her

JollyGreenSleeves · 27/12/2025 10:04

Frogbear · 27/12/2025 09:53

Just because people have given their opinions in response to your question and you don’t like the answer, that doesn’t make them vipers… 🙄

She’s not a little girl that needs looking after. That’s not a mean thing to say.

Show quote history

I think mumsnetters were once referred to as a ‘nest of vipers’. I don’t think the op was trying to insult anyone here.

But agree with the majority- you’re a good mum trying to please everyone even though you’re ill. Ask your dd how she feels about it. She might be enjoying the chance to do nothing.

Eenameenadeeka · 27/12/2025 10:04

I'm sure your 13 year old is fine, op. Mine would love the day to chill at home, definitely more than tagging along to something they aren't interested in (wouldn't be fair to cancel for your son.) I hope you feel better soon, so that you and your daughter can get some time out too!

justpassmethemouse · 27/12/2025 09:58

You shouldn’t be calling yourself a knob or a baby. You’re a parent who may be worrying over something they don’t need to worry about.

Frogbear · 27/12/2025 09:53

Peclet · 27/12/2025 09:26

We were going to go to ice skating and then lunch out.

This has been helpful. I can see I am being a knob.

Thanks vipers. Will chat to dd And see if we can rustle up a mate and they can do something

Just because people have given their opinions in response to your question and you don’t like the answer, that doesn’t make them vipers… 🙄

She’s not a little girl that needs looking after. That’s not a mean thing to say.

Snorlaxo · 27/12/2025 09:48

Stop acting like a sulky teen.

You’re not being a knob. You’re ill, feeling guilty and unable to think clearly because you’re feeling shit.

She’s 13 not 3 and will be fine with your plans being postponed a few days. If your h had cancelled the football then wouldn’t you feel guilty on your son’s behalf?

myhaggisblewup · 27/12/2025 09:46

13 year old me loved doing my own thing at home without annoying parents trying to engage / entertain me, that was for young kids 🙄
This was 40 odd years before mobile were invented, god, how did we cope with anything? 😄

moose62 · 27/12/2025 09:42

Any chance of taking her to the cinema? You can always sleep through it.

VisitingInkMonitor · 27/12/2025 09:37

Come on OP this is so unreasonable. Most 13 y.os wouldn’t care less about having a day to themselves. She’ll be on her phone all day to her mates. I live with season ticket holders and I would never begrudge them going to their home game and neither would my DD who loathes footie as much as me. It’s awful being ill when you have things planned but you can’t stop others doing the things they had planned. I don’t think this is about your DD at all.

Original poster
Peclet · 27/12/2025 09:35

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

I haven’t bitched about him. That’s a reach. I have said I have been a knob and a baby.

but by all means stick the boot in, hope it makes you feel good about yourself. It’s really nasty and unnecessary.

im unwell. I have a fever. I came on here for a needed reality check which I got. And you’ve decided to be that guy.

well done you. Feel like a tough guy?

OP posts:
hellowhaaat3632 · 27/12/2025 09:31

Take it easy and rest. What you DON'T need to do is constantly entertain your kids, esp when you're ill. Boredom is good for them.

Ccandmarmite · 27/12/2025 09:28

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Ccandmarmite · 27/12/2025 09:27

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Original poster
Peclet · 27/12/2025 09:26

We were going to go to ice skating and then lunch out.

This has been helpful. I can see I am being a knob.

Thanks vipers. Will chat to dd And see if we can rustle up a mate and they can do something

OP posts:
Snorlaxo · 27/12/2025 09:24

Are they going to be honest 3 hours or 6? A match and a pint is reasonable (people being away might mean that they can’t skip the match) but if it’s an all night drinking session then that’s annoying.

I’m surprised that a 13yo would want dad to amuse her unless you mean driving her somewhere like a shopping centre or something.

VanillaIceIceBaby · 27/12/2025 09:22

All of her friends are busy the day after Boxing Day?

I do think it’s unreasonable for two people to miss a planned event for a thirteen year old. It’s not like it’s her last day on the earth.

PennyLaneisinmyheartandmysoul · 27/12/2025 09:21

Would she need a ticket to go to the game? Yes change things for her to go, absolutely not cancel their activity,
what was her/your plan for today?

ForLoveNotMoney · 27/12/2025 09:20

She is 13 not 3. Leave the boys to their pre arranged plans. Is she even bored? She might be very happy doing whatever she is doing.

5128gap · 27/12/2025 09:19

You can't take away your sons event because you can't do something today with your daughter. Watch a film, talk, play quiet games with her and get DH to take her out tomorrow.

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