Feel bad for saying it, but I’m not enjoying Christmas at my elderly dad’s house

What does your Dad do for meals when you're not there OP? Can he not do the same while you're there, and you just cater easy meals for yourself and your child until you're feeling better?

Alternatively, can you just say 'Dad, I'm sorry I know the plan was not to go back to mine until (what ever day), but I'm feeling pretty awful, and would really like to get back to my own bed, plus DD won't need as much entertaining, when we're at home, as she will have all her own things there, so I've decided we'll go back to mine tomorrow, I take it you're happy to fit in with that?' If he says he's not, then tell him, he'll have to do some of the cooking, and if he wants to go out, he'll have to go under his own steam, as you really need to rest and get better, before it's time to go back to work, because obviously as a teacher you really can't have time off out of the school holidays.

Teaching is a full-on profession. You're a single parent. You speak to your dad every night. You're spending most of the Christmas holidays with him. You're ill. And you're wondering if you're being unreasonable for needing some downtime!
You're doing far, far too much, expecting far, far too much of yourself. You need a break - even if your dad is lovely and your daughter adores him, you need a break! Old people are hard work, young people are hard work, everyone is hard work, however lovely etc! Give yourself the break you need and deserve and use some of it to start asking yourself why you and what you need isn't higher up on your list of priorities. You can't pour from an empty cup.

OP dementia and such like can make older peoples’ reactions much more blunt and unappreciative. Just a thought.

You need to do a rebalance to get more of what you need - you are working and single parenting and you need a break.

I understand you can't shorten the visit this time, but you need to explain to him that you aren't well and can't do a trip out everyday, and go to M and S and let them do the cooking.

Shorten it next year - I get you want him to have you over Christmas, but New Year not so much - New Year is generally about going out with your mates. If you aren't up for that / have gone beyond it then I don't think it's a big deal.

As your DF is ‘extremely capable physically’ and you’re his guest, could he not be doing the cooking (or at least helping) and be more involved in planning what you do each day? I assumed he was at your house as you’re doing everything, but reading on you’re currently staying with him.

If you weren’t there what would he do? Tell him you don’t want to be doing something every day and if he likes to go for a daily walk he goes without you. Why can’t he be alone for New year? It’s just a day. It doesn’t sound like he’ll be wanting Hogmanay parties

That's so sad because they really cant help it. Thats what old age does. You could gently say you get more tired now. Is there a possibility to sometimes go out for a meal instead of having to cook ? You might feel better on your own turf. Or maybe batch cook so you already have stuff ...you can cheat with cooking to make it easier on yourself. Just be a bit clever. He will be none the wiser if you find clever little ways to make it easier for yourself. White lies dont hurt anybody.

I can understand you missing your dad, @Ukefluke, but expecting someone with an ear infection to cook all your meals and go out every day when they are feeling rubbish is not kind and shouldn't be excused because someone is "set in their ways".

I agree with @Meeeeeeeeep that you should set some expectations this time, @BarbaraVineFan, you deserve a break!

Are you well enough to drive home (with him) tomorrow? Nothing like your own bed when you are unwell.

What does your dad do normally when you are not there? Does he have organised things to do? He’s looking to you to make
all the plans. In a way it’s admirable that he wants to be active go on walks with you and DD. Is he worried DD will be bored without an activity?

You definitely need to have a chat and tell him you are not well enough for activities.

I do understand about elderly parents becoming childlike. I have an 88 year old mother. Four hours in one dose is as much as I can stand

He is old. He is set in his ways. He is a bit annoying.

In a frighteningly short time, you will be old and set in your ways and annoying to your daughter. You presumably will hope for her patience and company.

I would give anything to have my annoying set in his ways Dad back with us, being kind and adoring my daughters.

A whole week is a lot. Maybe you could leave a day or two early? It's a tricky one for sure. He needs a carer it seems, someone to cook and serve his meals. Maybe go get some ready made stuff he can shove into the oven to save you some work for two evenings until you get better. I'm ashamed to say I find it very hard to be around my elderly father, he talks and talks about the same thing and demands undivided attention and it's exhausting

You need to kindly and firmly draw up some boundaries.
Advocate for your wants and don't fall into the trap of mothering him. I know he is quite elderly,but involve him in the cooking/ prep rather than running a catering service for him and decide what activities to join in.
His expectations are not your responsibility.

Oh god… I am just going to bed but this is just like my dad. There is no way I’d stay with him for a week! Can’t you think up an emergency and leave early?

This is a tough one to vote on. I’m afraid due to his age, I’m on the fence. Soz!

Leave early
Tell him you're feeling unwell & will go home tomorrow to ensure he doesn't get "it", to enable you to see your GP (even if you're not) & because it will be easier to keep DD occupied with all her toys etc at home

Make future trips shorter.