My parents are still relatively young (mid-sixties) but due to a combination of mental and physical health challenges they have both aged a huge amount in the last couple of years. Not helped by drinking (not to a crazy amount, but enough for them to not be very present in the room / behave out of character at times).
I find they become irritated by the most minor things and fixate on really small ‘issues’ or people / things they don’t like, wanting to rant and discuss them all the time. The repetitive conversation drives me mad. Especially when they ask me the same questions over and over again, without processing the answer and sometimes trying to provoke me into saying something different. They don’t seem to have the energy to do anything other than watch TV or the odd morning out and it makes me so sad that their world seems to be getting smaller and smaller. They don’t take an interest in things that they’re not interested in and judge / criticise so much more than they ever did. I feel like I can’t talk about my life as they either mock it or stop listening entirely, launching into their own story / rant.
I find it really unbearable to be around, to the point I almost zone out in their company (and then feel really guilty afterwards). The past couple of days I’ve felt so down and sad, almost grieving who they were before and what life was like before. I often struggle to know what to do - address some of it with them, to try and help them / find help? My default seems to be to park it to the back of my mind and I worry this isn’t good. Sometimes if feels so painful I just can’t engage. But is that me just avoiding the issue? Or is this part of the transition when parents age? My friends don’t seem to be going through the same so it can feel so lonely.