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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daughter has bought her 7 year old a phone

217 replies

Alisonjayne8 · 26/12/2025 21:19

It's a phone that's capable of social media with all the bells and whistles.

I am fuming about it but what can I do. I watched a documentary about Snapchat and tik tok and what gets shown to new users, it scares the life out of me.

OP posts:
Augarden · 26/12/2025 21:49

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:44

As I said she wanted to message her brother so I felt that was a good enough reason.

Besides which I have 2 adults and 2 teens as well as 2 younger dc and I have pretty much used the same tactics around tech with them all, none have screen/phone addictions, or social media at all, so I reckon I'm doing something right.

So you can get stuffed with your sanctimonious "so weird....." rubbish.

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Ok but she doesn't need a smartphone to do that, non-smart phones are available.

Feels like people have no idea how dangerous this can be for little children, both in terms of them having access to things they shouldn't, and how deliberately addictive phones can be. Just be really careful if you want them to be able to read a book ever again.

omggggggg · 26/12/2025 21:48

Awful parenting but nothing you can do unfortunately

ItsDarkNow · 26/12/2025 21:48

More parents are becoming more aware of the harms being done to children by giving them phones and tablets.
Obviously a lot of parents don’t know or care about how children’s brains develop and grow.

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:47

Jinglejells · 26/12/2025 21:43

Why couldn’t she use your phone or the adult who was with her at that age. Because surely at 7yo your child would be with an adult around?

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It's how I choose to do things.

They have their own tech, under my guidance and I teach them how to use it responsibly and appropriately from a younger age, rather than give them a phone as a teen and let them crack on with it. Tech is an ongoing education in this house.

I'm very happy with how I do things and its worked out well for me 🤷🏽‍♀️

AgnesMcDoo · 26/12/2025 21:46

Nothing you can do. Not your decision.

its your daughter’s decision and her responsibility to set parental limits
and to teach her child to navigate phone use safely.

Dinosweetpea · 26/12/2025 21:45

YANBU your daughter is an absolute idiot.

SweatyGibbon · 26/12/2025 21:45

Not a good idea. Kids grow up too fast these days

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:44

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:40

But there's no reason for her to have had a smartphone...

So weird

Show quote history

As I said she wanted to message her brother so I felt that was a good enough reason.

Besides which I have 2 adults and 2 teens as well as 2 younger dc and I have pretty much used the same tactics around tech with them all, none have screen/phone addictions, or social media at all, so I reckon I'm doing something right.

So you can get stuffed with your sanctimonious "so weird....." rubbish.

myhaggisblewup · 26/12/2025 21:44

Zippideeblahblah · 26/12/2025 21:38

It’s the height of scummy ignorant parenting as far as I’m concerned. 7 years old ffs.

Agree

Jinglejells · 26/12/2025 21:43

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:34

Just because she has a phone it doesn't mean she will have tiktok and Snapchat.

My dd had a phone at about the same age, heavily restricted screen time, safety features set up, no unrestricted Internet access. The whole reason was because my son moved out and she wanted to be able to message him about her day, and she plays a game she likes on there for her (supervised) screen time instead of on a tablet or laptop.

It's been absolutely fine.

Why couldn’t she use your phone or the adult who was with her at that age. Because surely at 7yo your child would be with an adult around?

Dramatic · 26/12/2025 21:43

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:41

Why do 7 year olds need to fucking message each other???

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Well they don't need to but there's lots of things kids don't need to do. It's nice for them 🤷

Jinglejells · 26/12/2025 21:42

Yanbu. She’s a bad mother. A really bad mother. She has opened her child up to all sorts. But the mother who gives her phone at 7 isn’t one that you could reason with in any case

DanceMumTaxi · 26/12/2025 21:41

I’d be concerned too. It’s far too young and yes potentially very dangerous. My eldest didn’t get a phone until the summer before year 7 and at 13 he still doesn’t have social media - no snap chat, tik tok, insta, facebook etc. other dc is 10 and doesn’t have a phone. She’ll get it when she goes to high school.

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:41

Dramatic · 26/12/2025 21:38

No not really, they just used them like a tablet really, with the added bonus of being able to message their friends and family members.

Show quote history

Why do 7 year olds need to fucking message each other???

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:40

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:34

Just because she has a phone it doesn't mean she will have tiktok and Snapchat.

My dd had a phone at about the same age, heavily restricted screen time, safety features set up, no unrestricted Internet access. The whole reason was because my son moved out and she wanted to be able to message him about her day, and she plays a game she likes on there for her (supervised) screen time instead of on a tablet or laptop.

It's been absolutely fine.

But there's no reason for her to have had a smartphone...

So weird

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:39

Chinsupmeloves · 26/12/2025 21:36

Our DC had a phone at that age but it was WiFi only at home with a few apps, no SM.

What was the point of it then?

What couldn't they have got from a shared family tablet, for example?

TomatoSandwiches · 26/12/2025 21:39

It's not what we did but firstly it's none of your business, secondly you don't know what kind of controls will be put on them.

Dramatic · 26/12/2025 21:38

ItsDarkNow · 26/12/2025 21:36

Are you aware of the issues caused to very young children having smartphones?

No not really, they just used them like a tablet really, with the added bonus of being able to message their friends and family members.

Laura95167 · 26/12/2025 21:38

I thought they couldnt sign up for social media under 14 if theyre on the phone plan if a parent?

I totally agree with you OP btw... but I think its your daugjters choice sadly

Zippideeblahblah · 26/12/2025 21:38

It’s the height of scummy ignorant parenting as far as I’m concerned. 7 years old ffs.

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:36

hardtocare · 26/12/2025 21:30

I said YABU because it’s not your child. You’re allowed to have an opinion or pov but your daughter is the child’s mother and it’s up to her to decide on the risks and benefits. Do you really know she hasn’t researched and locked down the phone? Do you know her reasons for getting the phone. I wouldn’t think it was ideal to do this but you’re being very judgy for no reason unless a drip feed is incoming

Anyone who has researched whether giving a 7yo a smart phone would not have bought a 7 year old a smartphone...

Theres literally NO REASON for a 7 year old to have a smartphone.

Literally none.

Chinsupmeloves · 26/12/2025 21:36

Our DC had a phone at that age but it was WiFi only at home with a few apps, no SM.

ItsDarkNow · 26/12/2025 21:36

Are you aware of the issues caused to very young children having smartphones?

Arraminta · 26/12/2025 21:36

Lazy and uninterested parenting.

Dramatic · 26/12/2025 21:35

ItsDarkNow · 26/12/2025 21:33

@Dramatic
Why?

Why not?