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AIBU?

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Original poster

Daughter has bought her 7 year old a phone

217 replies

Alisonjayne8 · 26/12/2025 21:19

It's a phone that's capable of social media with all the bells and whistles.

I am fuming about it but what can I do. I watched a documentary about Snapchat and tik tok and what gets shown to new users, it scares the life out of me.

OP posts:
Sometimeswinning · 26/12/2025 22:00

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:54

None of my dc are on any social media?

And you can doubt all you like, I have zero reason to make anything up.

Do you only ever buy your kids things they absolutely need and never anything that's just nice to have? Bet christmas was a joy in your house.

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You have 2 adults and 2 teens? They are in social media surely? Your 2 younger ones do not need a smart phone.

I have nothing against choosing nice things for my kids. I’m just really good at choosing nice, safe things. You obviously struggle with telling the difference. Smart phones stupid for primary school children. Jewellery, games and books are ok right?

Dramatic · 26/12/2025 21:59

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:54

What's nice about giving them a device that's expensive and pointless?

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So they can message friends and family, take photos, play games etc. I'm not allowing my 8yo on Snapchat and tiktok.

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:59

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:56

I said my son.

Maybe you should concentrate on the screen time that you have impacting your comprehension before coming at me.

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My mistake.

Still don't see why she needs her own phone to message her brother. She can do this through an adults phone.

ItsDarkNow · 26/12/2025 21:58

@AgnesMcDoo
🙄

BellRock1234 · 26/12/2025 21:57

I am in two minds, as 7 does seem crazy young.

However, when I was in primary school, I would call friends on their house phones. My DC can't do that, as I don't have one. I would listen to CDs - but we use Spotify. We got homework home in school bags - now it's on Teams. I had a camera - now a phone is the best way to take photos that will be automatically backed up. There are lots of other phone apps that my DC use often, e.g audible, simply piano, lego instructions. None of these are bad, IMO.

I went looking for an MP3 player for my 10yo DC, and realised that they were basically just locked down android phones. So why not get one that can also call friends, track location and take photos?

I wouldn't let them have access to social media, use for long periods, contact unknown people, install anything without my permission, etc, either. But it is possible to have a phone, listen to music, take photos, contact friends, and nothing else.

cannynotsay · 26/12/2025 21:56

Normally not one to judge but here I am

cannynotsay · 26/12/2025 21:56

Normally not one to judge but here I am

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:56

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:52

You said friends and family.

She could have easily sent messages through your phone ..like my 6yo does "oh can I tell auntie Jane if she likes sushi?" And she either has to wait for see her. Or I'll send a message "from DD" on my phone.

It is weird to buy a 7 year old a mobile phone...

Show quote history

I said my son.

Maybe you should concentrate on the screen time that you have impacting your comprehension before coming at me.

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:55

MyOliveStork · 26/12/2025 21:54

What worries me more than a 7 year old receiving a phone, is that 22% of people think YABU!!!!

That's because 22% if people are idiots.

Greyrock2828 · 26/12/2025 21:55

That's absolutely terrible and I would judge anyone who bought a 7 yo a phone, ridiculous. DS school have a ban on all phones, no kids can have them or be seen with them in school and on site everyone including parents are told off in seen on them. Parents should be united. Anyone who is blasé about it clearly is not clued up. I personally know of a teenager who committed suicide after an incident on social media - they lacked the emotional maturity to deal with the issue they had. Mobile phones were not designed or intended for children - they are not toys. It doesn't do anything to benefit the kids.
I agree it's lazy parenting - much easier to give your kid a phone, game console, some tech so you don't have to parent. Shameless!

MyOliveStork · 26/12/2025 21:54

What worries me more than a 7 year old receiving a phone, is that 22% of people think YABU!!!!

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:54

Dramatic · 26/12/2025 21:43

Well they don't need to but there's lots of things kids don't need to do. It's nice for them 🤷

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What's nice about giving them a device that's expensive and pointless?

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:54

Sometimeswinning · 26/12/2025 21:50

I doubt you do all this to be fair. She doesn’t need one. You’ve chosen to give her one because you think it’s nice. I’m all
for bans on under 16s for social media. Therefore I think you’ve made a terrible, irresponsible choice.

Show quote history

None of my dc are on any social media?

And you can doubt all you like, I have zero reason to make anything up.

Do you only ever buy your kids things they absolutely need and never anything that's just nice to have? Bet christmas was a joy in your house.

RightSheSaid · 26/12/2025 21:53

It's bad parenting. Unfortunately, it's not your kid so you don't get a say.

Hiptothisjive · 26/12/2025 21:52

Awful lazy parenting and the absurd justifications just justify this position.

No child needs a phone at the age. The it will be fine approach completely glosses over the real and practical issues and mental health concerns of children. It isn’t all about TikTok and Snapchat for untoward people to find you it’s the real and scientifically proven negative effects of screens for children based on addiction and dopamine hits.

RessicaJabbit · 26/12/2025 21:52

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:44

As I said she wanted to message her brother so I felt that was a good enough reason.

Besides which I have 2 adults and 2 teens as well as 2 younger dc and I have pretty much used the same tactics around tech with them all, none have screen/phone addictions, or social media at all, so I reckon I'm doing something right.

So you can get stuffed with your sanctimonious "so weird....." rubbish.

Show quote history

You said friends and family.

She could have easily sent messages through your phone ..like my 6yo does "oh can I tell auntie Jane if she likes sushi?" And she either has to wait for see her. Or I'll send a message "from DD" on my phone.

It is weird to buy a 7 year old a mobile phone...

Makemeanonymous · 26/12/2025 21:52

TomatoSandwiches · 26/12/2025 21:39

It's not what we did but firstly it's none of your business, secondly you don't know what kind of controls will be put on them.

OP might not have any control over the parenting of the child but to say the welfare of her grandchild is non of her business is ridiculous.
Of course she is concerned about the welfare of her own grandchild.
And she has every reason to be worried by this inexplicable parenting decision.

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:51

myhaggisblewup · 26/12/2025 21:49

Not every one is as careful as you though are they?

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OK, I was talking about myself so.....

ManyPigeons · 26/12/2025 21:51

Half the toddlers round here have their own iPad at 2/3 years old so I’m not surprised. Seems stupid to me.

AgnesMcDoo · 26/12/2025 21:51

lots of hysteria already and only 45 posts on the thread so far.

🤣

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:51

Augarden · 26/12/2025 21:49

Ok but she doesn't need a smartphone to do that, non-smart phones are available.

Feels like people have no idea how dangerous this can be for little children, both in terms of them having access to things they shouldn't, and how deliberately addictive phones can be. Just be really careful if you want them to be able to read a book ever again.

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Cheers for the unsolicited advice, I'm very happy with how I'm doing things, thanks.

Makingpeace · 26/12/2025 21:50

IndigoIsMyFavouriteColour · 26/12/2025 21:27

Not up to you, it’s up to your daughter what her child has access to.

Doesn't make it right though. Or age appropriate. Or particularly safe.

And safeguarding is everyone's responsibility. The OP is right to be concerned.

Sometimeswinning · 26/12/2025 21:50

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:47

It's how I choose to do things.

They have their own tech, under my guidance and I teach them how to use it responsibly and appropriately from a younger age, rather than give them a phone as a teen and let them crack on with it. Tech is an ongoing education in this house.

I'm very happy with how I do things and its worked out well for me 🤷🏽‍♀️

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I doubt you do all this to be fair. She doesn’t need one. You’ve chosen to give her one because you think it’s nice. I’m all
for bans on under 16s for social media. Therefore I think you’ve made a terrible, irresponsible choice.

myhaggisblewup · 26/12/2025 21:49

BeforeSigourneyWeaverTheyWoveTheirOwnSigourneys · 26/12/2025 21:44

As I said she wanted to message her brother so I felt that was a good enough reason.

Besides which I have 2 adults and 2 teens as well as 2 younger dc and I have pretty much used the same tactics around tech with them all, none have screen/phone addictions, or social media at all, so I reckon I'm doing something right.

So you can get stuffed with your sanctimonious "so weird....." rubbish.

Show quote history

Not every one is as careful as you though are they?

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