Daughter has bought her 7 year old a phone

The trouble is, no matter how much you educate and lock down your child’s phone, you can’t control what other people send them. So you say to your child ‘yes you can add your school-mate Josh to your contacts so you can message him’, turns out Josh’s parents aren’t so on the ball, and he can then send your child messages/pictures which are inappropriate for their age. It’s the group-chats which are the worst, as they give a child a large audience and a chance to show-off.

Honestly, I think your barmy. My sons have had phones since they were about 5. My little one found his dad’s old phone, charged it up and started using it.
We have their phones locked down, they can only get new apps when approved.
DS11s phone is coded directly to mine, so I can see every keystroke, DS8s phone is coded to my husbands - same story.
They use them to WhatsApp friends and family, play games like monopoly go and when they were younger, teach your monster to read and teach your monster math. DS8 uses his phone to send me little messages when he’s at sleepovers or if I’m back late from work.
we have taught them that tech is there to assist their daily lives, and that’s exactly how our kids use it. No need to be scared of tech, as long as you use it correctly.
I guess the difference is, my DH actually knows, understands, uses and works directly within the technological industry and understands exactly how to lock down a phone correctly, unlike most other people on the planet.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/articles/cy0kd4kk0kqo.amp

As a previous poster said anyone who has researched into children using mobile phones wouldn't have given their child a phone. Look how addicted adults are to their phones. They are so addictive. Why on earth does anyone think a 7 year old needs to message their friends - why are parents not facilitating play dates? I don't think 7 year olds need ipads/tablets either. Gaming is addictive. Literally brain rot. Get your kids outside or doing activities. What happened to kids being kids - now they're exposed to far too much so young.
DS school goes from.primary to secondary and the phone ban is for the whole school and I wholeheartedly support it.

I do not like giving kids phones etc. My children were given tablets by grandparents and I’m not keen.

But equally I do think there is some scaremongering around screen time. I played video games all throughout childhood with my older sibling. Some were definitely addictive and I would’ve played all day. I still enjoyed books and did well at school. Mosey children will always prefer to play outside with friends than bron a screen.

The most important thing is restrictions and checking the quality of the games they’re playing. No social media and internet browsing.

Untwist your knickers and calm down.
Trust what she is telling you, she has control over it.

Well you know you can control what websites and things a child can access?

Google Family Link is actually a thing as is the Apple equivalent.

Your daughter is an idiot but very little you can do. Very frustrating.

I was in children’s a and e a few weeks ago with 7mo and 3yo. We are screen free but totally respect that’s not for everyone. But every. Single. Toddler. Was glued to a phone. There was a train track, books, toys in the waiting room. But they were all glued to cocomelon. But I was listening to some of the mums chat (they both had 2yo s) and one was saying how she’d had to buy a brand new iPhone for her 2yo because he always wanted her phone and she needed it. So a 2yo had the latest iPhone to watch his cartoons on. They were saying “I don’t know how our parents did it” and I wanted to chime in but I know I’m a complete A-hole for being screen free so I don’t. I know some people have it hard and just need a break. I was that parent once too. But my 3yo became addicted so we took it all away and yes it’s hard but it’s much better than buying a 2yo a brand new iPhone.

Thankfully baby was fine but I left an and e with a massive headache because of the 5 lots of cartoon sounds screaming for my brain’s attention for the 6 hours we were there. It was awful.

so no, YANBU. As I said, I don’t judge parents who use screen time but I just want to tell them that it’s a trap and it’s 100% easier without!

Never heard this. But upon reading it, it’s exactly what I would say too.

YANBU OP, that's a damn shame. Your poor little granddaughter.

I don't think there really is anything you can do, except keep a close eye on your granddaughter for behavioural changes etc.

My ds had my old iPhone at that age so he could ring me from his dad's when he wanted to. He didn't have any social media, just some game apps & WhatsApp so he could ring & message me without needing a contract or credit.

7??? OMG. I would be devastated, lazy parenting at it's finest.

I was sat in a restaurant earlier - it was sad that so many families were just glued to their phones. Also a mother and son who didn’t even look at each other for the whole meal. Another couple dining, she even had headphones in and was watching a screen. My Children have never had a screen at the table, not ever, not on a plane, a car journey. They get.bored and then start to come up with ways to entertain themselves. My youngest 7 was making mud pies for hours the other day.
I do let them watch YouTube supervised and my eldest codes on the family computer. Both doing very well at school.
I’m sorry your daughter has done this - I can imagine how upset you must be. It’s like a piece of their childhood has been lost.

But what “situation” would require a 7 yo to have a smart phone?? I think this sounds like a concerned grandparent (good to know one adult has the child’s best interests at heart).

Who is voting YABU ?! Seriously, the child is 7. She has her whole life ahead of her for smart phone usage. Depressingly sad. I’m doing all I can to keep my DC away from smart phones for as long as humanely possible.

True! DS is obsessed with mine (17 months old) but he can't get into it because I've got a passcode. But he's also obsessed with my very basic phone! I think it's just the bright lights and noise. I'm not giving him a tablet either though, and when he gets hold of either I take them off him.

This is absolutly none of your business. Shame on you for encoraging a load of stangers who know fuck all about your daughters situation to judge her parenting.

There is no smartphone that allows you to do all of what you say- permission to turn apps on and off, yes, but not needing your consent every time they use it. You do know that if they’re at a friends house using their wifi they can create a new account for their phone, which doesn’t require ‘your consent’ including WhatsApp hidden chats, there’s so much they can do to undo parent controls and if you think otherwise you’re in for a surprise. You might trust your dc, but can you trust all their friends with a smartphone?

You can see that the ‘I gave my child a phone at 7 and there’s been no problems because I’m so brilliant at being a parent’ brigade will be the people who vote YABU.
Of course we all know how all the experts say that it’s fine to give small, very young children phones. 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️
Frankly in the same way I judge the parent of a toddler, barefoot in the winter, in a buggy eating a sausage roll and drinking coke out of a bottle, I also judge the parents who give kids who are barely out of nursery smartphones.
To pretend people don’t judge is ridiculous- we all do.
It’s not what your kids might have access to, it’s what other kids have access to that they can send to your child.
There’s also the fact that lots of kids are really sharp when it comes to tech and can easily override parental controls/hide apps from parents.

No good ever comes from giving a 7 year old a device they can be groomed/bullied on or watch violence and porn.
@Alisonjayne8 find some experts opinions of young children with phones & send the links to your daughter. Tell her that safeguarding is everyone’s responsibility & you are very worried.

The anxious generation by jonathan haidt is a good read. There are so many ways we are screwing up our children and screens are just one of them. Its certainly become very normal now, I have a toddler and quite a few of his friend group received a tablet for Christmas.

My 8 year old has a phone but its an old one of ours only used for a few games. No social media at all.
I think a phone can be many things now. His is basically a gameboy that he rarely uses anyway.
I would not let him on the internet or social media though and he doesnt contact anyone or message on it. Literally plays a couple of puzzle games and also has bbc i player on it to watch stuff and thats it.
So its not the phone its what they do on it that you want to be concerned about.

You continue to prove my point by your responses. It just keeps getting more awesome.

I’m an adult so my safety while using a phone isn’t being drawn into question but thanks for the clap back .

And you think that ignorance is not understanding you can supervise a child on a phone vs the dangers on a smartphone? This is wilful ignorance.

Read the room you are in the minority.

I’m in the 7 is too young camp. BUT the staring at screens thing is so hard when all their homework now is on screens! Apps and games as well as quizzes etc.

It’s becoming the norm. I asked my child to come off his Nintendo to take a break from screens. Asked him to make a start on homework. He said, I can’t it’s on google, you said no screens! 😂

mine didn’t get a phone until secondary and we have strict rules and checks and it’s locked down on the phone and WiFi as much as possible.