Had family over today, and all the little ones were poorly

I’m my child was as you said unwell and barely able to stay awake and relying on paracetamol I wouldn’t be going anywhere, never mind someone’s house. My DD had flu and was out the game for 2 weeks bed bound so although it’s just a cold to some people it’s not just a cold to others. X

Really unwell I wouldn’t take them out. If they are playing and eating and it only descended into chaos in the late afternoon then that doesn’t sound like really unwell to me. That’s just small children.

Try not to panic. We were expecting to be super ill as I think they had flu a few weeks back but actually haven’t had much off them this year. You probably Won’t catch it. Just eat well and rest well.

I always think the right etiquette is to message in advance and advise that you /your child is under the weather and let the host decide what they want to do

It is pretty simple though: if your child needs calpol, has a fever or has been sick, don’t take them to social events indoors without warning your host. Of course some children will be contagious with no symptoms / you can catch a bug anywhere / etc but that’s not an excuse to risk sharing an illness knowingly.

I feel like there is a divide between the « my children get bugs all the time, we still want to go out » and the « my children are rarely unwell, please don’t expose them to your germy kids ». I’m in the second group FWIW.

Most a bit young for school if all under 5, unless they were all 4

but is it drama? We are exposed to way more viruses than generations ago with the population increases and global travel, we are also getting increases in cancer incidence in young people. I think there's already a link shown between viral exposure and blood cancers (not a direct link, but over time with the increased exposure to viruses, the burden on the body and immune system). There's recent correlations between lung infections waking up dormant lung cancers that the body was holding in check. People say viruses will only take out unhealthy people but what if viruses are making us unhealthy? Maybe we shouldn't have a culture of spreading germs, it's not rocket science to limit spread.

That's totally selfish of them to knowingly bring illness into your home. Open the windows to air the place out. Detol spray (in a can) is great for misting over couches/carpets/surfaces. Also I can second recommending Vicks First Defence. Use it as soon as you can. It can kill the virus at the back of your nose before it takes hold.

Both my little ones have just been ill with a virus that went to chest infections - me and DH, grandparents, aunts, uncles were all in constant contact with them (their choice) and no one has caught it.

Usually when my kids get ill I don't catch it - they have lower immunity than adults! It's rude of the parents to bring them to yours ill but it definitely doesn't mean you'll get sick

I notice this with parents who spread the germs. They also don't seem to understand basic science. Airflow is important, as long as no one gets cold. I see so many people close everything up when ill, literally sealing everyone else in with it.

No need to bring them into a friend’s house, though.

YANBU. DC’s nursery had to send a letter home about not sending clearly unwell kids in, or if they have needed Calpol in the morning before going to nursery. DC1 caught the lurgy several kids were off with and bounced back just fine but immunocompromised DC2 (6 months) was knocked for six for about three weeks and it triggered a bottle aversion which she still has.

This is a no win though - on special occasions, there's pressure to join in. My mother still wears a face mask and continually criticises people who spread their germs, but anyone cancelling on her would get the thin lip treatment.

And a bigger difference when the adults can’t stay off the booze for one day to give the option of going home! That’s the worst bit in my opinion. Poor kids didnt want to be there and their parents can’t even be arsed to stay sober to put their needs first

OP I've only read your posts on the thread but from your replies to people there are clearly some defensive parents who would have done the same as your relatives did.

YANBU to be annoyed and to feel sorry for the kids. They're thoughtless and selfish.

I hope you don't catch it.

On a side note when you get bloods back from your GP check your ferritin level and B12 level results yourself too, as often gp's version of "fine" and what's actually fine are two very different things.

No we don’t. Not in my setting. Sick kids need to be AT HOME not spreading their germs far and wide. As a parent, I keep my child off if they are unwell. Sounds like these parents just wanted a piss up with no regard for their kids

I did exactly the same for a gynae surgery. Waited two years for it so I isolated for 10 days as I wasn’t missing the damn op!

We’ve had flu go through our family like a dose of salts. It’s awful. Prepare for the worst op

@brilliantjustbrilliant next Christmas don't host these people. Save your hosting for the summer.

I had scheduled surgery two months ago. Surgeon made it clear if I caught something surgery could be cancelled. I told everyone I would be isolating. I've waited so long for the surgery.

People are selfish. I’m immunocompromised and always say if you’re unwell (streaming cold, tonsillitis, random virus) I don’t want to see you
people still visit with illnesses
i have said before “would you visit someone in hospital with cancer like this?” And got “oh no that’s different”

So what? If your kids ill then keep them at home.

It's 1+1 stuff!

Nursery here would have sent them home

Find me a family with kids under 5 who doesn't have at least one with a lurgy at Xmas .... it's just the way it is. There's a huge chance that any kids coming into your house at Xmas will bring a bug. It's also not just kids that spread stuff adults do too. Even if they'd left just recovered their parents would have brought it in. If you are so scared of getting a bug don't host Xmas.

The kids will all prob have had a flu jab so it is most likely a cold they have or a chest infection. Very unlikely they'd all have chest infections at the same time! As for being 'dosed up' on calpol! It's not morphine, its paracetamol. Afraid it's not so powerful as to completely hid illness.

Surely all 5 weren't sick. Were the babies teething?