30FlirtyandDrivingmyselftoinsanity ·
26/12/2025 17:46
I’m about to turn 30 and I can’t really complain.. but I will anyway.
I’m married, two beautiful children, mortgage (shared ownership though) and generally good physical health (mental health is poor but who’s isn’t in this climate)
Despite the above, I feel like I just don’t have my shit together at all. We have some debt (loan we took out for our wedding a few years ago) in hindsight I wish we hadn’t, hindsight is a wonderful thing. But now we pay near £600 a month on debt.
I have a bad credit score after I was a stupid teenager, took out loans and didn’t prioritise paying them back. Only got a handle on it in my mid-20’s so I’m still paying the price now.
Our house is a blank slate of boring. It hardly feels like a home. Second hand everything.. which I know isn’t a bad thing by any means, but I feel like I can’t afford nice things as an adult. DH is nearly 40, and together we can’t even properly furnish our home. Ideally I don’t want to live here forever. We’re on a rough estate under shared ownership as we needed something big enough for 4 of us.
things used to be easier financially, but I had a bit of a mental slip, quit my job due to unholy burnout that had me near suicidal.
I was explaining to DH today that I feel lucky to have my family, have a roof over our heads so I’m not ungrateful.. but I don’t feel accomplished.
we go to friends of similar ages, family even and their houses are so much more homely and put together than ours is.. but we can’t afford to actually make things nice. We just have literal basics.
I just don’t want to be in my 30’s, unable to afford a coffee table unless it’s from B&M or Facebook. It’s so depressing.
DH is way more content than I am. He feels the home is fine, we don’t need more than we’ve got, no need to buy a new sofa.. ever. Doesn’t care that every wall is a sad off-white.
Today I saw someone had written “your 30’s is like your 20’s, but with money” and I feel like that’s not going to happen for us. Even when our loan is paid, that 600 odd is going to be swallowed by food bills that we can hardly pay for now. We live to the penny every single month with 0 savings. When will it get better?