Argument with my DM over baby items

It’s super easy to move when you rent like OP does.

I think she’s right too. You will quickly get tired of the steps to the house with baby/pram/shopping. Then once the baby is a toddler and can literally fall headlong down or up the steps if your attention drifts for one second or they are a child that loves to wrestle free of holding your hand. You are determined to learn the hard way. That’s how it goes with adult kids at times. I think your DM is likely angry because it’s not just you it may affect, it’s also the life of a child.

We lived in a one bedroom flat until our second child was 3 months old (through choice rather than necessity). Most of the baby stuff they try to sell you is optional, and there are a lot of space saving options for those items that aren’t. The money you will save by living in a smaller place will serve you better later.

My cousin had a very small hall with her first baby and they used to keep the pram in the car outside.

We had a sling and a yoyo pram which folds up super small as we live in the countryside and I didn’t see the point in a giant pram I was going to find stressful fitting in the car. It felt tiny compared to most people’s big baby prams but it’s been fantastic, haven’t regretted it for a second. Can you get one of those bin stores for out the back? The little wooden ones? Or possibly the plastic furniture boxes? Then you can fold up the pram and store it outside.

My babies would only go to sleep on the move in a pram/ buggy, so I tried to time their naps so that they would fall asleep and then I could wheel them straight into our hallway and get on with stuff while they slept.
However, as PP pointed out, people have babies in all kinds of different houses and flats, and they all manage. As you are renting, you can always move if it’s proving too tricky or you need move room eventually.

We live in a 1.5 bed flat without a car. We had a yoyo pram/pushchair from birth which is wonderful. We were planning on only having 1 baby so the plan was to dispose of stuff as soon as it was outgrown, and only buy as he needed things. However, friends have given us stuff that needs growing into and he's so wonderful we're keeping things like the moses basket for a potential second, which is testing our storage! Thankfully I haven't lost the baby weight so I've thrown out most of my clothes, freeing up some cupboard space!

Does she mean a house closer to her maybe?

I had my first in Chicago where 99% of the city housing stock has stairs to the front door and obviously lots of people have babies and it just isn’t really an issue. We even had a 3rd floor walk up apartment at the time! We went for the YoYo pram which worked perfectly because it could fold flat even set up for a newborn and then it had a shoulder strap so you could be hands free to carry baby, then once inside I hung it up on the coat hooks. A good sling could also work.

It doesn't really matter if your mum is right or not. You can't just up and move house so there's no point her going on about it and making you feel shit.

It might be from a place of worry for you with a lack of self awareness thrown in.

I agree about the steep steps to the house, this would have driven me mad when mine were babies. I walked so much, could bring them straight in asleep and have some me time. But that doesn't mean you have to do the same thing. You might not want to do that.

I don't think it's any of your mum's business where you live or how you plan to manage prams/babies etc.

ive lived in small 2 bed flat upstairs and had 2 newborns here

I use a yoyo buggy - can fold it one handed or it’s light enough to lift with baby in it. Or I use baby carrier instead

i have a hook on the wall and buggy hangs there and takes up no space

didn’t bother with things like a Moses basket -
just got one cot that the babies both used
to near 3 and then converted it to toddler bed

didn’t use bottles so no steriliser or bottles or anything needed

went pretty minimal with clothes and just did laundry daily instead easier to manage for me.

I get rid of stuff and de clutter very regularly and we are still here nearly 5 years later zero plans to move no issues with a small flat space

We just bought our expectant daughter a Silver Cross Reef 2 which has a bassinet which folds flat, and a seat which lies totally flat-the chassis is really lightweight and easy to fold so fits your brief

I left mine in the car when I was living in a flat with my first. Or just carry baby in the car seat.

I couldn't have lived without my Bugaboo for at least the first 2 years, no way would I have accepted not to have a sturdy all-terrain buggy from birth, but they do fit in the car. In the car I had then, at least.

As mentioned you need to research the stroller, pushchairs. But you also need to plan indoors for when you need to carry the baby up the steps, put them somewhere safe while you go down the steps to collect the buggy. Similarly going out, if the steps are too steep to manage the baby and the buggy together and you have to have the buggy out first. You need to be sure it’s safe while you collect the baby. But as long as you plan well, I’m sure you can do it. Many people live on first or second floors and can do it, but it does take planning.

For our first, I didn't use a pram, I used a Mclaren type pushchair with a back that drops flat (babies are supposed to lie flat at first). Mclarens are super light and easy to fold, and much cheaper than these humongous travel systems. Next time she brings it up I would just say: Thanks for the advice but we're not moving house, can we drop it.

My baby’s car seat lived…in the car.

Ive never brought a pram in to my house, ever. It lives in the car too. If we walk somewhere from our house I get it out of the car. If we are going out in the car, it’s in there ready to go.

You can get some very light push chairs these days, that you can easily carry up the steps (folded)
If you are otherwise happy with your home I don't think it's a huge issue

@Firsttimer266 look for a stroller/pram in which the baby can lie flat at first. Much better for their spines, necks etc. You can still find something compact and lightweight even with this criteria!

Loads of small prams and strollers.

Lots of parents are living in flats.
We had a stroller for our youngst as we lived in a flat - and no problems. So easy to handle. I loved it. Folded it was in the car or in a corner behind the front door. Really not an issue.

We had a big pram with first two children as we had a house and garden living abroad. Nice to but no a need to.

I feel your mum wants to be involved and wants you to think she knows best, but times move on as do trends. Tell your mum that she might have a point but you're happy to see how things pan out and then adjust accordingly.
Be kind to her, she just wants to be a part if it.

Where are you going to put the pram, car seat etc?

My pram never ever set wheel in my house - not through lack of space but because of the dirt. It went in the boot of the car. Was never a problem and I certainly wouldn’t move house over accommodating a pram.

Plus you can always change your mind once the baby is actually born and you see how you find it - I thought I’d use my pram loads, in reality most of the time my kids were in a carrier as babies.