Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

I’d assume they were caricatures? Not intended to be realistic.

You seem to have very extreme reactions, do you have issues with emotional regulation? It’s quite OTT to have nightmares about this. Your behaviour in the restaurant was also very strange, and it’s quite odd to make a whole calendar of shots of you and your friend. Not to mention deciding you no longer owe money you clearly owe for your dinner because you feel you’ve been made fun of.

I suspect this isn’t the first friendship difficulty you’ve had?

Neither presents were good. A calendar of photos that are precious to you isn't great present for anyone other than you. Also, maybe she hates how she looks in those photos and maybe you've inadvertently done the same thing to her that she's done to you.

Will you stop going on about witchcraft!? It's truly bizarre.

Also, why couldn't you at least pay your share of the meal in the restaurant, then pay for theirs as youd said you would, at a later date once you had sorted the money to do so? Or at the very least the extra bits youd encouraged them to order, that they thought youd be paying for

We need to see a photo of the bookends!

You should transfer them the money for the meal, or if you have their address and you have a cheque book, you could do a cheque

I think they are being unkind. Good friends wouldn't ridicule you in such a public way.
I would rethink this friendship.

Found it! 😂

I’m so sorry op, this person is cruel and not a friend

What a hideous present. Can you ask your brother who filmed it if he knows what's going on?

To put it very plainly OP, you need to pay them the money for the meal. Dust off your cheque book and send a cheque if you have to but you need to do this. You don't "treat someone" and them force them to pay the cost themselves. And they were forced because someone had to pay it.

Regarding the bookends, if you can't discuss this with them then you weren't as close at you think. Best friends would not be wanting to hurt you.

As a secondary issue, perhaps you could look at getting some help with budgeting as it's a little worrying to be so unaware of what you can and can't afford that you are having multiple cards declined. Kindly, is there something else going on?

I was saying entirely the opposite: that I thought maybe some of her social misreadings could indicate ND but also that I think she’s acted in a batshit way here (due to her personality). The two unrelated. Wasn’t in any way trying to explain away her behaviour on being ND. Like I said, I feel the two things can coexist

odd you’re being so defensive and very “do you think we’re all the same” when I’ve never said I was neurotypical myself.

I wonder if this post is a wind up?
It sounds too ridiculous to be true!

Christ this whole thing is weird

The meal thing is totally cringe and then the fact that despite them paying for a £300 meal and you buying a calendar as a gift you thought you might be getting £300 tickets as a present?!

The gift is truly disgusting I’d absolutely throw that in the bin and it does sound like they wanted to shame you so they really aren’t friends. Probably did this to get you back after the meal debacle.

I think just throw the items out end the friendship and move on

It doesn't matter what you feel like, you told them you were paying for the meal so pay them back for the meal.
Then you will be 'even' - a handmade calendar for handmade bookends sounds reasonably equal so a non-issue there.
But I don't know how you could possibly think she should have gotten you theatre tickets on top of all this?

Transfer her the money for the bill, as then you've got the moral high ground. Do that, take the book ends to the charity shop, and just don't contact her again for a while. Don't react again about the present. If it was a prank, then no more attention to it will take the wind out of their sails.

Definitely.

Or just return them to her saying you find them too upsetting to have in the house

Or take them to the charity shop

Regardless if you want to pay for the meal or not, pay half the bill for the meal as it’s the fair thing to do.

afterwards be honest with your friend. Tell her that something is only truly funny if both parties find it funny .. and in-fact you feel really hurt by the Xmas gifts, you feel made fun of, which is unexpected and unkind.

But that doesn't make it being ND does it?

That's their personality and you basically said that at the end of your comment.

Do you think only ND people have batshit behaviour? I am so tired of people on here suggesting every little thing off is ND. It's bloody offensive, understand that!

It's on nearly every post where someone is awkward, slightly strange and even to downright abusive behaviour. It perpetuates hamrful stereotypes and from the reactions I get to my comments, many others think so too. Think before you comment as I'm tired of people assuming that we all have no idea of proprietary or what is common sense!

I think I'm the only one to say it, but I think it's actually a good piece of work. You would need to be skilful to make this, unless it was done from a mould. If she bought the mould, that would explain why it came out looking masculine. The eyebrows have been done with a marker pen, and the details are crudely marked, but the actual shape is excellent. Like I said perhaps she bought the mould. I think she might have been genuinely proud of it.

Having seen the bookends - there is no doubt that present had ill intent. You are correct in that it’s a hideous present and the videoing you opening it was to laugh at your expense.

However, your dinner story is also bizarre. I think your friendship is bookended.

Perhaps they want to be creative, but are not very good at it yet? They are genuinely proud of their effort and don't realise that it's hideous?

isn't that the point of a house - somewhere to keep all the books?

I'm with you on this, and do think it's quite a strange present. Especially as they must know you well,and clearly should realise it's not something you'd like.

people still have books in their house? what