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Original poster

Inappropriate present, hideous bookends and me in drag!!!!

514 replies

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 14:53

I love christmas, and I love christmas presents, I got my best friend a lovely calendar showing photos that were precious to me throughout the year of all the good times we have shared, in return, and this is so strange, I got two bookends, which have obviously been handmade, but look like my face, but in a grotesque punch and judy way, I'm not sure whether they are supposed to look so scary, but they are hideous, I actually had nightmares about them last night, and on top of that, a smaller 3D figurine which is basically me looking like a drag queen in hideous blonde hair and a massive red bow, they obviously took a long time and I get that, but I wonder what they are trying to tell me, they have sent me a message asking what I think of them and I really don't know what to say, to be honest, Im quite upset they see me that way. Im just a normal person who loves christmas, I was hoping for tickets to see a christmas carol or something like that.

OP posts:
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8
GottaBeStrong · 26/12/2025 19:56

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:48

its really not funny, how would you like it if your best friend made bookmarks that made you look like a bug eyed witch with a slight goatee, when they had let you to believe they were gifting you christmas carol tickets at the old vic, as I said, i know i messed up with the bill but there is no need to be so personal, its downright hurtful and very cruel

If it was my best friend, I'd find it absolutely hilarious and they'd have pride of place on my shelving unit.

Having said that, this whole thread is bonkers. You said you were enjoying your role as the host at the restaurant but you didn't even have the money to pay for it, so how much was it, versus what you thought and why did you think it was a good idea to offer to pay?

BauhausOfEliott · 26/12/2025 19:56

You’re massively overreacting and putting two and two together to make five. Calm the fuck down.

Also why the hell did you expect tickets to a show when they paid £300 for a meal and you bought them a calendar?

OchreReader · 26/12/2025 19:53

FrenchBunionSoup · 26/12/2025 16:54

Does anyone else think the friend has taken a 3D printer pattern and modified it to try and look like the OP, and thinks it's fun rather than being intended to embarrass?

I don't think it's related to the restaurant incident. I think they are quite pleased with their 3D printer and wanted to make something fun.

I was thinking of someone with a new 3D printer as well

Pipsquiggle · 26/12/2025 19:51

The book end looks awful and the way they wanted you to open it and be recorded so everyone could laugh at you is particularly cruel

Pay them for the meal they bought you, then significantly step back from this 'friendship'

BlueSlate · 26/12/2025 19:47

23doorsdown · 26/12/2025 19:46

This cannot be a real thread!

I think I'm inclined to agree, tbh.

23doorsdown · 26/12/2025 19:46

This cannot be a real thread!

FrightfulNightfull · 26/12/2025 19:45

OP I suspect that you won’t come back to the thread - and I don’t blame you.
I’m sorry you are so upset.
It seems to me that you need to pay them back for the meal - however you afford it. And then be done with these friends.
It’s cruel IF they intended to hurt you. If the way you describe things are accurate then it seems as if that joke was set up well before the meal.
For your sake pay the £300 and forget you ever knew them.
You made a stupid mistake in trying to pay for dinner that backfired dramatically in them paying- lesson learned.
I don’t think you are a cheeky fucker - I think you got carried away and didn’t think through the costs.
I think you probably also didn’t think about what the cost of tickets to A Christmas Carol would be and I think you value your friendship so much that you perceived the calendar as a very personal and thoughtful gift, not a cheap or weird gift.
I hope you find friends who understand you and don’t mock you, in the future, because this is not a true friendship from the other person.
If the meal panned out as it did because you want to be more like them .. don’t be. You are okay as you are.

Jellywobblescobbles · 26/12/2025 19:41

susey · 26/12/2025 16:19

The context no longer matters much - they knew you'd be upset and even asked your family to film your reaction. That's atrocious and not the behaviour of a friend. Take the hint and quit the friendship, just stop being in touch.

Op - I would put those 3 monstrosities on your friends doorstep or dump them in the bin - and ignore her

3luckystars · 26/12/2025 19:37

Can you explain how this happened with the meal out? How did you not have enough money on the night? I’m really curious about this and would love to know the chain of events.

Look on the bright side, it would be worse if you actually did look like that.

Metalplate · 26/12/2025 19:34

23doorsdown · 26/12/2025 19:24

Perhaps they were going to get you theatre tickets but after the expensive meal they paid for they thought that was enough.

The figurine is odd

A conversation and a request for a bank transfer after or an offer from the OP - I’m guessing they offered to bank transfer the money at the time eg OP said - oh shit, can I transfer money when I get paid or home? OP did you offer to pay / sort the money back especially if it was hundreds for the meal?

TeaAndTattoos · 26/12/2025 19:33

😂😂 maybe they did buy you tickets to see a Christmas carol and then when you couldn’t pay the bill for the meal after encouraging them to have whatever they wanted they decided not to give you the tickets and give you them instead.

Metalplate · 26/12/2025 19:31

confusedgoldilocks · 26/12/2025 15:55

it actually gets worse because they knew i would be at my brothers on christmas day so they asked my brother to film it on his mobile phone and send it to them when I opened them, i was horror struck as I removed the wrapper, but my family thought it was hilarious, I begged my brother not to send it but he did, and my face is a real picture, Im shocked and confused, but everyone else is laughing, and now my friend has just rang, they have it on their tv screen and everyone is laughing there as well, as they are at a family do, I've been turned into a figure of fun for someone elses amusement so no, I dont feel like paying for the meal now,

This is absolutely awful and bullying of you at a distance, your support network and family uniting in ridiculing you and having the video forever.

Can you talk to any of your family or friends about the bullying? The video and your reaction needs to be deleted.

I would send the following to your brother and friends:
I am deeply upset and humiliated at presents sent they have made me confused, anxious, upset and scared. If that was their aim - they succeeded. Undoubtedly this was also the aim of videoed and sending my reaction despite me begging those involved not to do. My humiliation in 2025 is complete - whatever I did to deserve this for this mammoth personal cruelty I can only apologise as I would never wish current feeling I have over this entire horrid episode to ever be felt by another human being. I’m not emotional or sensitive and the cruelty displayed by everyone and my ridicule, embarrassment and the endless mirth caused to all of you, I believe reflects on you. Your lack of empathy, your planning and execution was complete. I wish you all the best in 2026 but it won’t be with ‘family’ and ‘friends’ like you at my side.

please go NC with the lot of them and my God I feel your pain - I shouldn’t be saying ‘get therapy’ ‘get counselling as you did not cause this - they all did and truth be told they are are the ones that need it. But you need counselling to form a plan to go NC, to make good positive new friendships both within your family and out of it - for example no way my husband would film me and send a video of my distressed reaction to others - if he didn’t know what was happening he might have filmed it and then deleted it wrapped me up and then he himself go with the people that asked him to film it but he would never of sent it.

So I actually feel you have been putting up with abuse on different levels for years and 2026 is the year to draw a line on the sand. Never ever contact those ex friends again - block on everything 2026 and going NC is hard but you deserve better friends and there are plenty of decent friends out there waiting to meet you!!

Grrrzelda · 26/12/2025 19:27

Not to derail but a dish of olives and antipasti is £4.95 at the loveliest local restaurant here. But then I am in a place where almost anyone with any sense can recognise a curse object. And dispose of it.

23doorsdown · 26/12/2025 19:24

Perhaps they were going to get you theatre tickets but after the expensive meal they paid for they thought that was enough.

The figurine is odd

Grrrzelda · 26/12/2025 19:20

thegrinchwasontosomething · 26/12/2025 18:57

Here’s my take…

the meal is a red herring. The bookends / statue were probably ordered weeks ago.

you both have form for buying ‘homemade’ and personalised gifts.

you made a calendar, you friend got a bust made based on your photo.

she was probably as shocked as you when the bust arrived, but thought you find it so ridiculous that it would be funny. Maybe she thought you’d laugh as
much as she did?

I don’t think it’s meant to be an ugly caricature of you- it’s not exaggerated enough. Neither is it very good- it just looks a bit ‘meh’

It looks dragged down and the eyes have no proper irises

Rosealea · 26/12/2025 19:19

I didn't know people still used calendars in this day and age!

The bookends sound fab though.

C152 · 26/12/2025 19:19

Just assume the presents missed the mark and bin them. Don't give them another thought. If the dinner is still bothering you, call them to say you've been too embarrassed to say anything, but it's been bothering you and you'd like to transfer the money for the meal to them. Job done.

Tigerbalmshark · 26/12/2025 19:18

SabrinaCarpetCleaner · 26/12/2025 19:01

I've only ever allowed friends to buy me dinner on big birthdays, and only as a group chipping in. I wouldn't dream of sitting stuffing my face on 3 courses (with my husband doing the same) with wine and extras while a lone friend was picking up the tab (regardless of how insistent they were that I should fire in). They were taking the piss.

That said, it's impossible to pick a side, because all involved sound like fuds.

Show quote history

I wouldn’t either (we are the type of family who fights over who gets to pay). But maybe OP was supposedly paying them back for some previous debt/cheeky fuckery? It sounds like it’s turtles all the way down with this one.

I’d accept dinner if, say, somebody had been staying with me for a while for free, or I’d helped them redecorate their house, or I’d rescued their child from a burning building.

Grrrzelda · 26/12/2025 19:16

CJFJ1 · 26/12/2025 18:39

Maybe this is covered earlier in this thread but if the dinner took place just before Christmas (which OP says it did), how would the friend have had enough time to have those bookends specially made in time, assuming that they are personalised? Unless they know someone who can make bookends very quickly. Most personalised mail order stuff like this takes quite a while to produce and deliver, in my experience.

If they are used to cursing people, they or their friends will have the skills.

It is hardly great art or rare materials they've used.

Anyahyacinth · 26/12/2025 19:15

Hoping this is creative writing. If not, you owe your friends for the meal. Their gift is irrelevant…you promised them encouraged spending and then didn’t pay ..you need to fix your error

MamsKnit · 26/12/2025 19:10

This reminds me of those brilliant caricature
portraits you can sometimes get. Do you think you are reading too much into it? She must have gone to a lot of trouble (and cost) to have those items commissioned - unless she made them herself. She might have been a bit surprised by the outcome but there would have been no turning back. I got a present like the Calendar you have and I thought my friend had chosen unflattering photos of me and brilliant ones of her but when I look at it now I just see the effort that went into it. So hang on to them and you might come to like them. Or time will reveal that she really isn’t as close to you as you think. I would keep an open mind though and not jump to conclusions.

PInkyStarfish · 26/12/2025 19:09

You have behaved appallingly over the meal and need to send them the money asap.

Have the bookends definitely been made in your image or have you assumed they are in your image because you are insecure about your looks?

PoliteRaven · 26/12/2025 19:06

SabrinaCarpetCleaner · 26/12/2025 19:01

I've only ever allowed friends to buy me dinner on big birthdays, and only as a group chipping in. I wouldn't dream of sitting stuffing my face on 3 courses (with my husband doing the same) with wine and extras while a lone friend was picking up the tab (regardless of how insistent they were that I should fire in). They were taking the piss.

That said, it's impossible to pick a side, because all involved sound like fuds.

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😂 I've never heard "fud" outside of one of my favourite sitcoms. Thank you for the much needed giggle 👍🏻

Happy Married At First Sight GIF by Lifetime
Christwosheds · 26/12/2025 19:05

susey · 26/12/2025 16:21

A lot of people are saying "her" about the friend, but I think the friend sounds a spiteful woman-hating man! OP hasn't said she. Is that right OP?

Is it not a group of friends ? I am very confused. The bookend is obviously a man.

SabrinaCarpetCleaner · 26/12/2025 19:01

Tigerbalmshark · 26/12/2025 17:29

OP picked the venue, and kept encouraging them to order more and more as it was “her treat”. £300 for three people, for three courses, nibbles, coffee and multiple bottles of wine, is really not a lot. You could probably get pretty close to that in PizzaExpress.

Show quote history

I've only ever allowed friends to buy me dinner on big birthdays, and only as a group chipping in. I wouldn't dream of sitting stuffing my face on 3 courses (with my husband doing the same) with wine and extras while a lone friend was picking up the tab (regardless of how insistent they were that I should fire in). They were taking the piss.

That said, it's impossible to pick a side, because all involved sound like fuds.