To be a little annoyed by this token gift

Time to quietly shelve your goodwill methinks. Honour the agreements you have made but dont agree to any more. I do quite a bit of free childcare for my 2 granddaughters, but I do for it love. They always buy me Christmas and birthday gifts

Attaching and an unspoken arbitrary expectation in the size of a gift because you do loads of hours of babysitting doesn’t sound like it’s actually free.

I can understand being disappointed in a gift.

Charge them even if it’s below going rate.

Any difference in thank you gifts won’t upset you as much then.

What are you doing? You realise that you're being grossly taken advantage of by both families, don't you?

I had a similar experience, but I recognised my stupidity and put an end to it. I then saw their true colours.

Call time on the childminding. Let them find & pay for their own childcare.

You're perfectly right to react the way you did.
They are very well off and should have spent some time and money on a thoughtful gift.
The fact that they did not means they take you for granted and are utterly selfish (the parents not necessarily the children but that will come with parents like this).

I'd pull out of babysitting to be honest and get yourself a new hobby in the New Year.

You are not being unreasonable, but you are being a bit wussy. So what if they huff and puff when you say no. You’re not staff. When/if you have kids would they babysit that much for you. The only way they’re going to appreciate how much you do for
them is if you don’t do it so much.

OP, nope! uncommit yourself! Your plans have changed and you’re no longer free to be their doormat!

You don’t buy your sibling a Christmas gift?

If your sibling repeatedly did you thousands of pounds worth of favours you wouldn’t buy them a thank you gift?

She’s looking after their most precious thing - their children!

For goodness sake, if someone hosts you for dinner you bring a gift worth more than £3.

if someone cat sits for you or waters your plants while you are holiday you buy them a gift worth more than £3 to say thank you.

You give your children’s teachers a Christmas token.

I really don’t understand why repeated posters are rolling out this arrant nonsense about not expecting a gift. It’s the minimum of what they should be doing.

Why do they expect so much of your time ? You are not their staff. If they don't appreciate you cut back drastically - some people fool themselves that their children are just so amazing that people should pay just to have them ! Time for a wake up call for them

You’re not wrong to feel annoyed. After hundreds of hours of free babysitting, a £3 last minute gift feels thoughtless, even if they didn’t mean it that way. It’s not about the price, it’s about the effort and the message it sends.
You don’t have to make a scene, but it’s fair to quietly recalibrate how much you give going forward. Free help like that only works when it’s appreciated, not taken for granted.

This is a complete smack in the face- entitled twats.
They are taking you for granted.
Think I’d be pulling back from it and having a word. They can’t possibly deny how shit they have made you feel.

Get tough.
Explain you now have many other commitments and sorry, but they will need to find another babysitter. You will let them know if you are ever available. I babysat for a neighbour recently and they popped a £30 gift voucher through the door.

Yeah, what everyone else has said. You can change your mind. Stop going along with this and take your time back.

I would be upset not by the present but more than giving you a token gift was an after thought.

A £3 gift thoughtful picked out is a lovely gift but I'd rather no gift than a "that will have to do" £3 gift thrown in the supermarket basket on Christmas eve.

My mum has a thing about always having something to open. I've asked for money towards some new clothes for Christmas. My 'something' to open present was some smelly candles. I don't generally use candles I don't see the point in them and smelly candles and air fresheners give me migraines.

I’m already committed to loads for next year and I’m feeling really pissed off

You can change your mind, you know.

Why martyr yourself for others who treat you appallingly? Just stop.

I think that if they have made you feel undervalued and, as a result, it will tarnish the pleasure you used to get out of helping them (because you thought they appreciated you), then you should message them as announce a NY resolution: that you have started a new hobby and will no longer be available to offer free and unlimited babysitting and hope you are giving them enough notice to make alternative arrangements for those dates already discussed.

Free babysitting should have been met with a bottle of wine, flowers etc. Every. Single. Time.

They have taken advantage of your single/un-parented status. You should draw a line in the sand and not be available except in extremis going forward.

They think of you as less than them. You're just there for their convenience and they don't appreciate it for a minute.
Can you shed some light on the context? Is it for them to work or socialise? How come you have ended up being the third parent to their children? Where are the grandparents? Other family members?
Stick to your January commitments but then tell them you're not going to be available anymore. It doesn't matter what their reaction is, stick to your guns.

Getting nothing is definitely better. I've done similar, not doing more than raise an eyebrow when no gesture of appreciation was given, then one time when I'd saved them over a grand they reciprocated with a packet of biscuits worth less than £2. I couldn't quite get over that. Giving nothing seemed a bit gauche, and was largely forgotten. The biscuits felt like an insult. I stopped putting myself out for them after that.

So you don’t babysit for free then?

Then uncommit yourself

This

I really would give notice that as from eg Feb I can only do 1 evening a month or whatever you want to do and I would use the free time you are no longer babysitting for them to do something lovely for yourself whether it be a new hobby or a chance to go for a leisurely walk or watch a film but something you would enjoy for you ,

They seem incredibly unappreciative - especially when you are going on a holiday and yet they are complaining you won't be around to babysit - let them do what a lot of others have to do - sort it themselves

@CeciliaMars , if it's Christmas and you regularly babysit your brother and SIL's children it is not unusual to expect a present.

You shouldn’t expect a present - they’re your family. If you’re not happy to do it for free, just don’t do it.

Yes I’d be annoyed too, it’s not about the cost of it (although £3 is stingy if they’re not having to pay for babysitting!), it’s about showing appreciation.
A card the kids had made and a box of chocolates would have been fine for me if it came with a genuine thank you