Page 12 | To be a little annoyed by this token gift

slightlyjadedbythis · 2025-12-26T13:47:58+00:00

I do a lot of free babysitting for my nieces and nephews. One family got me a really lovely gift voucher. It was really appreciated and came with a really lovely card. It genuinely brought tears to my eyes. The other family (who I’ve probably babysat for for over 200 hours this year) have got me a gift set that is currently on sale for £3. My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly. AIBU to think that this is a little cheeky when I do so much free babysitting?

thing47 · 26/12/2025 14:11

Cross posts. What @Jellyx said.

TheMorgenmuffel · 26/12/2025 14:11

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:51

I’m already committed to loads for next year and I’m feeling really pissed off

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So uncommit.
Tell them that things have changed and you are no longer available.

Theyll be furious.
That is ok. Its ok for someone to be cross with you. It won't kill you and it will not feel as bad as it feels right now.

CalmTheFuckDownMargaret · 26/12/2025 14:11

A last minute no-thought £3 gift from comfortably off people is pretty crap anyway. Then, considering how much you do to help them, they are just taking you for granted, aren’t they. If someone did 200 hours of babysitting for me and I was able to afford it, I’d get them a £100 gift card without thinking twice. 50 pence per hour for someone reliable and you can trust is a bargain. They’ll value you if you’re less available, the fools. Honestly, I’d be tempted to do virtually nothing else for them.

Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 14:10

harriethoyle · 26/12/2025 14:05

Give them a couple of months notice of your new non availability. Gives them time to make alternative arrangements.

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I already know how this is going to go down. I told them no because I’m in holiday and they started saying that they have no help and they never get a break. Notwithstanding the fact I babysit pretty much three times a month!!

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thing47 · 26/12/2025 14:10

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:51

I’m already committed to loads for next year and I’m feeling really pissed off

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You are entitled to change your mind! As long as you give them plenty of notice to source an alternative, I would just make myself much less available in 2026.

I think of babysitting as being in the evenings, or is it weekend daytime? I enjoy the latter as I get to spend time with the kids but not the.former, then youre just unpaid help...

Jellyx · 26/12/2025 14:10

You can ‘uncommit’ to the babysitting next year. Give advance notice if you’re inclined to. I.e say ‘’I’m happy to do the babysitting for January but I’m not available thereafter on a regular basis’’

you don’t have to give them a reason - you don’t owe them anything! Maybe they’ll appreciate you more when you’re gone..

use that extra free time to do something you enjoy !

SmileyMoonset · 26/12/2025 14:10

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 14:07

I’ve said no once because I’m on holiday the date they wanted and it went down like a fart at a funeral. Really unhappy.

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Ah, it seems they think they are entitled to your time and labour (and it is labour even if you love the kids to pieces).

Start saying no more often. They are treating you worse than with would treat an actual staff member.

Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 14:07

SmileyMoonset · 26/12/2025 14:06

I might find myself jist a little less available next year.

Have you ever said no when they’ve asked you to babysit? It sounds like they are taking you for granted.

It’s not really about the money, it’s about the lack of thought and consideration. After all a framed photo of you and the children, or some homemade fudge, truffles etc made by the kids, or asking the children to draw their favourite memory with you and pop it on a frame or an album wouldnt have cost very much but would have been meaningful and made you felt appreciated.

It’s the lack of thought and care, for someone who does a lot for their family that stings.

I’ve said no once because I’m on holiday the date they wanted and it went down like a fart at a funeral. Really unhappy.

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BCBird · 26/12/2025 14:06

I would honour the dates I had promised but hold back on promising more.

SmileyMoonset · 26/12/2025 14:06

I might find myself jist a little less available next year.

Have you ever said no when they’ve asked you to babysit? It sounds like they are taking you for granted.

It’s not really about the money, it’s about the lack of thought and consideration. After all a framed photo of you and the children, or some homemade fudge, truffles etc made by the kids, or asking the children to draw their favourite memory with you and pop it on a frame or an album wouldnt have cost very much but would have been meaningful and made you felt appreciated.

It’s the lack of thought and care, for someone who does a lot for their family that stings.

harriethoyle · 26/12/2025 14:05

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:51

I’m already committed to loads for next year and I’m feeling really pissed off

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Give them a couple of months notice of your new non availability. Gives them time to make alternative arrangements.

LoyalSquid · 26/12/2025 14:04

Stop the free babysitting.

You weren't looking for recompense but they've clearly shown you how little they appreciate your contribution to making their lives easier so stop it.

Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 14:04

Hankunamatata · 26/12/2025 14:01

How much when not on sale?

Tbh we don't tend to buy adults. I would have got you something through the year or taken you out for dinner

If there was something through the year i wouldn’t mind but there’s nothing like this. They do it for other people who give them childcare, but it never seems to be much for me

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Mydahliasareshit · 26/12/2025 14:03

What fools they are.

Let them find out the hard way.

ZeldaFighter · 26/12/2025 14:01

Lavenderandbrown · 26/12/2025 13:58

This happened to my DD who as a college educated (which is what parents wanted) woman babysit for a family once a week for years. Still does. Elaborate gifting by the family…wine jewelry and books and food items all sat out on a table all December with gift wrapping always in progress. For church friends and co workers and the neighbors.

for my daughter…nothing. She loves the little girls and they love her but it definitely was hurtful she didn’t merit any kind of gift.

@Lavenderandbrown how did your daughter react to this? I don't think I would have carried on babysitting if that happened to me.

Hankunamatata · 26/12/2025 14:01

How much when not on sale?

Tbh we don't tend to buy adults. I would have got you something through the year or taken you out for dinner

Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 14:00

Lavenderandbrown · 26/12/2025 13:58

This happened to my DD who as a college educated (which is what parents wanted) woman babysit for a family once a week for years. Still does. Elaborate gifting by the family…wine jewelry and books and food items all sat out on a table all December with gift wrapping always in progress. For church friends and co workers and the neighbors.

for my daughter…nothing. She loves the little girls and they love her but it definitely was hurtful she didn’t merit any kind of gift.

This is how I feel. I love the kids and will happily babysit, but when you’re giving everyone lovely gifts and then for me it’s a £3 gift set it is a bit hurtful.

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Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:59

ToKittyornottoKitty · 26/12/2025 13:59

So did the kids choose it?

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Doubtful

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ToKittyornottoKitty · 26/12/2025 13:59

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:53

They have explicitly stated that all gifts at Christmas are in recognition for the babysitting. As they handed it over they said “this is from the kids to say thank you for looking after them” (obviously not paid for by them)

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So did the kids choose it?

Lavenderandbrown · 26/12/2025 13:58

This happened to my DD who as a college educated (which is what parents wanted) woman babysit for a family once a week for years. Still does. Elaborate gifting by the family…wine jewelry and books and food items all sat out on a table all December with gift wrapping always in progress. For church friends and co workers and the neighbors.

for my daughter…nothing. She loves the little girls and they love her but it definitely was hurtful she didn’t merit any kind of gift.

Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:57

AlwaysTheRenegade · 26/12/2025 13:56

Could they afford to pay you? Are they on a tight budget hence the gift?

Absolutely could pay. They are very well off.

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Original poster

slightlyjadedbythis · 26/12/2025 13:57

cocobanana922 · 26/12/2025 13:56

Do you want to do the babysitting, or not? Surely nobody is forcing you to do unpaid work especially if you have a full time job yourself.

I do enjoy it, but I also think that when you give up a huge chunk of your time for someone it’s nice for there to be some show of appreciation. They never tend to show it through the year so I thought that maybe it would be a bit more than a £3 gift!

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somanychristmaslights · 26/12/2025 13:57

Well you’re being a mug for all the free babysitting unless it’s something you absolutely enjoy rather than helping your family out constantly. Yes I’d help my family, but 200 hours is a bit of a piss take.

AlwaysTheRenegade · 26/12/2025 13:56

Could they afford to pay you? Are they on a tight budget hence the gift?

SchoolDilemma17 · 26/12/2025 13:56

Stop the free babysitting then. You clearly don’t feel appreciated.