To be a little annoyed by this token gift

You re acting as if you owe it to them...why is that?...perhaps you re getting something significant in return? Is it a question of status, cultural, economic or social. I can think of certain cultures where a single aunt is held in low esteem, unfortunately.

Oh come on! She loves the kids and enjoys babysitting for them. She isn’t asking for the moon on a stick. She’s asking for very basic consideration and thought.

Which quite frankly she should get in her own right as sister/SIL/auntie even if she never ever did any babysitting.

I’m betting the OP bought her Brother, his wife AND the children appropriate gifts. And she gets something carelessly picked up the day before?

That’s pretty poor even without considering that she saved them about £2,500 last year in child care.

I tipped my supermarket delivery man more than £3 for goodness sake.

You don’t give to receive, that’s true. But there’s also a point where you have to recognise that you are taken for granted and have the self respect to stand up for yourself.

If you feel under valued and unappreciated then stop. Tbh from all your posts, it sounds like you're being treated as a mug.

So what if they can't get another babysitter or shock, horror - can't go out! Boohoo, that's NOT your problem. Especially, when they expect your services for free.

I would stop this now. Give them a month's notice (at least that's showing consideration) and put an end to it. Or at least make yourself a lot less available/ or start charging. Stop being a door mat otherwise they will continue to treat you like one.

You keep referencing that it would go down badly if you were to say no. Think for a moment, that you were unhappy with the 3 quid gift they gave you yesterday - and they didn't care. They didn't stop to think at any point that it was a piss take, and that it might offend you or upset you.

With that in mind, why does what they want matter so much to you? So what if they get pissed off? You're not a servant - you are free to tell them to get stuffed. And if they get snotty about having no help and never getting a break, what's stopping you from pointing out that this is a load of old bollocks - because you have given up hours of your time to babysit for them? And that if they're pissed off that they now have no babysitter, then that's on them for being so bloody rude and entitled.

Say no, that's it, over. I am only going to babysit for people who value and appreciate what I do for them - and that doesn't include you.

Why are you allowing yourself to be a doormat?

So stand up for yourself. Tell them you're charging from January.

Or you can fester and feel unappreciated.

You are being totally walked over. Tell them to do one and never answer phone calls/texts/emails. They are utterly taking the pi*s!

Thanks are always needed when someone does something for someone else.

It's not hard. It's just good manners.

If you don't expect people in your life to appreciate things you do for them or at least have the good manners to say thank you, that's just you and it's quite sad actually that you value your deeds so poorly.

You need to speak to your brother and tell him unloved and unwanted his actions have made you feel.

You're accepting what you believe you are worth.
Time to change your beliefs.

time to un-commit then. You suddenly have root canals scheduled every friday night for the foreseeable future

Apologies if I’ve missed this, but how are the two adults related to you? Brother? Sister? DH’s brother or sister?

A gift is a gift. It is not payment for services rendered. If you want to, charge for your time. If you don't want to then don't.

You can't have it all ways. If you want to do it do it but if you don't, don't. It would never occur to me to look for thanks of gifts for something like that. I do loads too but I find it really awkward and uneccessary if anyone gets me anything to say thanks. No thanks needed.

So it’s clearly not a money issue and they also could afford babysitting. I’d do no more, sorry but they don’t value you.

Then just don’t do it.

So what? Not your circus, not your monkeys. They’ve shown you how little they value you. Believe them - and value yourself x

I think you need to be blunt here and say, “Look - I’m not a paid-for childcare service. Your expectations that I’ll always be available are totally unreasonable. I’m doing this entirely from good will and I’ll do it when I’m available. You should be happy that I’ve helped you as much as I have and wishing me a nice holiday, not grumbling that I’m not available.”

We then, change your mind and plans.

How it goes down is their problem, no? You don't have to take on their disappointment as your responsibility.

My nephew gleefully declared “we got that on Christmas Eve!” as I opened it, and my sister in law just laughed awkwardly.

They think so little of you they didn't even remember to get you anything until they remembered on Christmas eve, then grabbed something in the supermarket thinking 'It's crap but It will do'.

I'd not be babysitting for them again. I love the way little children are so open.

Yes, but they made the choice to have children. Looking after them is their responsibility, not yours.

They can throw a tantrum, that’s fine. Treat it like you would a toddler tantrum - just don’t give in.

Basically they're users. Shame you're going to be so much busier from now on, they'll need to use someone else.

Let them react however they want! They’re allowed to be disappointed! You’re not their free babysitter! Let them be upset- not your problem!