To be a little annoyed by this token gift

They don't appreciate it. The pathetic gift (honestly, sometimes giving nothing is better) isn't as bad, in my opinion, as the way they reacted to you not being available to babysit because you'll be on holiday. That's ridiculous! I'd cut back sharply on my availability, except for times you actually want to do it—if ever. You don't owe them a 'break'. 🙄

I woukd feel exactly the same as you . I think the word is ‘used’ !

They are taking advantage of your good nature.

I would give them notice and then stop sitting for them. Have you worked out how much they are saving by not using a babysitting service based on the going rate in your part of the country? Tell them you will be busy next year with hobbies or a second job or a side line job - whatever. I bet if you have kids in the future they would not reciprocate.

Presumably you choose to babysit.

You could be less available in future.

I think that’s absolutely diabolical OP - I’m afraid I would Asa matter of principle charge £5 an hour going forward -which is still cheap - it’s not that I think you had an ‘expectation’ of a pricey present , it’s the fact that they had a complete lack of thought/care at all the free time you have willingly offered.

Wouldn't be bothered about the Xmas gift, but it sounds like you feel underappreciated by them generally - maybe try to cut down the amount you offer free babysitting.

As a GP, lack of appreciation is one reason why we no longer do childcare for one of our DCs. We only ever saw them when they dropped the GCs off at the crack of dawn for school (and even then they never came in - just opened the car door and sent them to the front door on their own!) or collected them and took off. We never saw the GCs other than for childcare - they never popped in when walking by and literally live 4 minutes walk away from us. Yet complained that we never took an interest in the GCs when they never invited us to football matches or school assemblies. If we asked the GCs they always said - don't know!! If we aren't told how can we do these things? Never any appreciation shown or said.
Other DCs - let us know in plenty of time - if pick up or drop off days change - or even if shifts change so they do these things for themselves and give us a day off. If we are not available - okay will just make alternative arrangements. Buy random treats for us just because - lovely Xmas gifts - meals and invites for days out with them as a family. Invites for school perfomances shared out between the various GPs and we now have some traditions/days out that we do with the other GPs for the GCs - just because we all get on well. The difference between just two siblings is miles apart and they say we don't treat the GCs equally when it is down to their attitude and entitlement. But there are no issues at all with DiLs family doing all the fun stuff despite having no childcare responsibilities around school!
So OP, don't feel guilty when you say no - and even if committed now - be less available in future - you definitely deserve better!

FFS grow a fucking backbone

then un commit

How much do you think they should have spent on you?

Please stop doing this.

I did loads for my siblings’ children. When it came to have my own kids many years later they couldn’t be less interested. Neither are the kids who are now fully grown adults. Seems that some people only want to take and never reciprocate. I’m just talking basics, nothing extraordinary, but they couldn’t even do that 🤷🏻‍♀️

OP why not tell them how you feel? Or ask another trusted family member to. Keep it simple. You are feeling hurt by their gift after all you do so need a break. You love your family but don’t feel appreciated.

It is not your responsibility or problem if they don’t have sitters.

Well then you’re being a mug. They’re just treating you like free childcare. Time to stand up for yourself.

You are allowed to change your mind.....

No you are not heing unreasonable OP. That's worse than no gift at all really isn't it, if everyone else is bring given something decent in front of you.

Do you see your sibling/ the parents other than when babysitting? Do they make an effort with you for you, if you see what I mean, to spend time with you?

They’re treating you like a mug, OP. Is this an older brother and his wife? How old are you and how old are they?

You need to email them early in the new year to say you won’t be doing it any more. Rescind the current agreements you’ve committed to with them. Say whatever you like. You could say things are financially tight this year so I can’t afford to do it for free any more (quote them a decent market rate for babysitting if they still want you to do it). You could say you need more time for work/hobby/something else/second job. You don’t even have to give them a reason if you don’t want to. Just say “I’m afraid the dates we’ve agreed no longer work for me so I can’t do it; I’m letting you now in plenty of time so you can find an alternative solution”.

And stick to it! If they cannot show some appreciation, you need to set your own boundaries and STOP. Or they will walk all over you and never care a jot what you feel.

Bon courage, OP. Think of all the time you can have back from these ungrateful, selfish people.

So you couldn't babysit on one occasion, despite how much you already do, and they made you feel bad for saying no. This just shows that they take you for granted and expect you to say yes everytime. It sounds like they don't value you , the shitty gift sounds like an afterthought.

Time to start being less available.

Seriously, they are trying you so bad. Send a text to say that given the gift is explicitly to reflect all the babysitting, you understand they will want to go elsewhere so you are stepping back now. They are walking all over you.

Sounds like you in an abusive relationship with a sibling if you are not able to set any boundaries and say no to babysitting
Are you able to seek support from other family or friends or even Women's aid?

Please just stop.
Who cares if thry take it badly?
You are (rightly) taking their behaviour badly...

It doesn't have to be permanent but it should be long enough that they check their selfishness and acknowledge your generosity.

They are taking the absolute piss amd sound like reckless users.

We pay £20 an hour to babysitters - they got more from us for xmas than you did...

And our CM who we pay over £50k per year!!! got a hamper with about £100 /150 of nice stuff (food / body / bath) and a case of decent wines...
because our children are precious and I deeply appreciate how much care love and energy she pours into them!!!!

There behaviour is totally off and I would not be the bigger person "for the children".
And arseholes like this generally raise arsehole children...

I think you should stop and tell them why. Just say that you don’t think they appreciate your work or time.

So what if it would go down badly?

They obviously don't care about you.

Is it babysitting so that they can have time together/go out or so that they can work?

If the former just cancel as there's no real impact as they can ask someone else/pay a babysitter.

Plans change so unfortunately you are no longer available!! Thats shitty!
I child mind and bought the kids including their sibling who i dont mind Christmas gifts. It was one child's birthday Xmas eve and I got her a separate gift. I got nothing off them whatsoever for Christmas! I buy for milkman, postman, hairdresser etc so maybe I am the idiot! They do pay me obviously but I thought a small token gift at Christmas as in a box of chocs would have been standard for a childminder

This is entirely in your power to change but you have to accept that they'll be pissed and be ok with that. People like that will make a fuss but it's just noise. What's the worst they can do? Not buy you a £3 bit of tat next year?

Do you know what, @slightlyjadedbythis you are allowed to withdraw your services. They're relying on the fact that they can bully you into continuing with a bit of not very subtle emotional manipulation.

Let them be pissed off, they'll survive. At the moment you're trying to control their feelings by making sure they get what they want, and they're happy for you to do it. They're using the threat of a bad mood to get their own way.

Let yourself feel a bit guilty. You'll survive, I promise you. And it will pass really, really quickly.

At some point, if this continues, you will become resentful enough that the whole thing will fall apart. It's inevitable. The only question is when that is. So you can either subject yourself to months if not years more of providing free childcare, or you can pre-empt the inevitable and start saying yes only if you actively want to.