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AIBU?

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Original poster

To expect children to say thank you?

133 replies

Nifty50something · 26/12/2025 13:01

We stopped by a good friend's home yesterday (we were invited) and gave her a gift and also gave £30 to in a Christmas card to each of her children. The children (aged 11 and 16) opened the cards, took the money out and said nothing. After a few minutes I prompted them by asking if they had put it somewhere safe and the 11 year old then said yes, thank you. The 16 year old said nothing.

Afterwards in the car I mentioned to DH I thought it was shocking the children hadn't said thank you, or only one did when prompted by me. The mum did say thank you for her gift but didn't say anything to the children. DH said oh that's normal that's just how children are nowadays. But I can't believe that.

I'm child free and in my 50s. So AIBU to expect a thank you or am I just out of it and behind the times? I don't expect a thank you card or even a text but surely uttering those two words at the time of receiving something surely cannot be too much to expect???

OP posts:
ThisCalmMauveWriter · 26/12/2025 13:11

It's very rude, but then adult posters here think it's not necessary to write thank you either, so you can imagine how ill-mannered their kids must be, if even their parents tell them thank you is a waste of time.

Then they just don't bother saying it full stop

labamba18 · 26/12/2025 13:11

Hankunamatata · 26/12/2025 13:08

I would have prompted mine to say thank you. Then gave them a wee talking to about manners once you had gone. I hate lack of manners

Exactly this! My 6 year old needed prompting yesterday and I had a word with him after (he’s normally good),
. I definitely would expect better off an 11 and 16 year old!

awrbc81 · 26/12/2025 13:09

That’s not most kids, I wouldn’t have expected a gushing thanks from kids that age but I would expect a thanks and if it were my kids I’d have prompted them

Hankunamatata · 26/12/2025 13:08

I would have prompted mine to say thank you. Then gave them a wee talking to about manners once you had gone. I hate lack of manners

HettyMeg · 26/12/2025 13:05

They should know to say thank you at that age - I wouldn't bother giving them anything next year.

OnlyMabelInTheBuilding · 26/12/2025 13:03

Yanbu, but we have nephews and nieces like this. It’s rude. Tbh it’s the parents at fault though.

Oftenaddled · 26/12/2025 13:03

I think this is really unusual and not at all the way children are today. I've never met a child over three who wouldn't thank you to your face when handed a gift in person, assuming no relevant disabilities.

BuffaloCauliflower · 26/12/2025 13:02

No it’s not you, there were rude and I’d reconsider if you want to give them gifts in future. My 5 and 3 year olds know to say thank you for gifts.

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