To expect children to say thank you?

It’s definitely rude

I think that's rude, and would never give your friend's children such a generous financial gift again.
My nephews and nieces (when they were children) would very rarely acknowledge a sent gift - which was a bit jarring - but they would genuinely thank you if you gave the gift in person.

My niece and nephew never say thank you for any gift, and niece is almost 18 (and plenty old enough to text me a thank you message or send a postcard with a few lines - she has my phone number and address!)

I still give them some cash or a gift at Christmas and birthdays because my sister expects it - but as soon as they each get to 18, that’s it. I’m a pretty generous person and would have been happy to continue the cash gifts indefinitely if they could just have stirred themselves to send a basic thanks, but there you go. It’s their loss.

I always get DD to write a thank you note - it’s just such poor manners not to at least say, text or send a thank you.

that’s incredibly rude. My DCs would have received a look and we would be having a little chat about manners later in the evening.

My one year old says thank-you regularly (obviously not always in the correct situation) because she learnt it off my two year old because he says that much. Saying that - i'm guessing some teenagers regress heavily and maybe they were polite kids beforehand.

Does she give you gifts? If so, you would think she would notice that you thank her, and do likewise.😳

We've given money to a near teenager and a 15 year old in their card ( £50 each ) the mother send a thank you text but nothing from the actual children .
Yes your recipients are old enough to reply , likewise my ones , but sadly they don't and really it's the parent fault for not making it something they should do .

Of course they should say thank you! And their mother should have prompted them with 'the look' if they failed to do so! I think it's the bare minimum of teaching your children manners.

I gave a lift to a neighbour's 9 year old daughter the other evening. As we got into my car she said 'thank you, I really appreciate it' which I thought was really sweet. Good manners cost nothing but go a long way.

Well
I sent (expensive for us) gifts to 5 adults and 4 children all of the same family .
Didn't get an acknowledgement or a thankyou ,or even a Christmas card in return.
I'm actually very hurt ..as these are extremely close relatives

It’s definitely not how children are. All four of my nieces and nephews have given me big hugs and said thank you for their presents.

People are raising brats. Shocking behaviour. I wouldn't repeat the gift again.

Happy New year :)

YANBU.

The parents haven’t taught the children properly. Part of this wierd parenting philosophy where children aren’t made to do anything that isn’t genuinely their idea or isn’t what they genuinely want to do. Really strange and ultimately unhelpful to the child imho when in reality, being a competent and successful adult who is liked by others, depends on doing an endless list of things you don’t want to do day after day, and on not pissing others off who have been kind to you.

Literally just had this conversation with my adult dd as she has received no thanks from the several family members shes bought for, adults as well as young adult dc.
Really seems to be a lack of manners these days.

I got a thank you from the adults but only because I messaged first to say thank you (WhatsApp as I didn't want to ring and interrupt their xmas day)

No it's not normal not to say thank you

Thank you cards are not as common as they more - more often text/video or picture - but a thank you in some form is normal.

Yanbu. It is very rude to not say please and thank you unless theres a reason they are unable to, which it sounds like these children are capable of speaking. I would have expected the parents to prompt them at the very least and tell them off if they still didn't say thank you.

Without any additional needs, I'd expect a toddler to understand the concept let alone a teenager

Mine would have said thank you straight away as that's how they were brought up.

I remember when buying my teenager a cone of chips one afternoon he said "thanks mum". The lady serving asked if she'd heard him correctly as she was so surprised. Never crossed my mind that other children wouldn't say thanks.

My DD knows that it’s polite to say thank you so no, it’s not normal to not acknowledge a gift. Mine is often shy in a big group but still knows her manners.

My 3 (just) year old grandson says than you for everything. Even after eating a meal I’ve prepared. I think by that age they should know better.

I think I would actually say to friend, I noticed x and y didn't seem too impressed with the cash - have they got to an age where it doesn't mean much to them? If so I shouid stop with their gifts maybe?

Keep giving your friend a gift, but perhaps it would be good to indicate to these children that you're not just a cash dispenser

Yanbu re these children. But yabu to say all children.

Mine are no longer small (23&+9) and always write thank you letters.

My DC know better and would have certainly thanked the person.

I’m child free too, YANBU at all !. My nephew (42) to whom I’m very close is married to a very dysfunctional girl who , in all the years he’s know her (18) has never said thank you for any gift. She has very strange, dysfunctional parents, and obviously she just wasn’t bought up to say thank you. My nephew knows about this, but is clearly too embarrassed to tell his wife she isn’t normal. If I had my way I’d give nephews wife nothing, but I think my nephew would be hurt, I think we were bought up well, and some people just aren’t !